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Writers Retreat > Student Talk > Research Chat > Cutting Words Or Sticking to Meter?
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Author Topic: Cutting Words Or Sticking to Meter?  (Read 598 times)
Claudine Gueh
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« on: June 27, 2011, 11:28:05 PM »
Hi Fellow Retreat Writers,

I'm revising a picture book manuscript and came upon this problem with rhythm:

My story is written in rhymes with an iambic meter. However I'd like to cut words to tighten the text further. If I do, I'd mess up the iambic meter. If I don't, I feel my back itching because I know I haven't cut out unnecessary words enough.

So which is more important? Cutting words out or sticking to the meter?

Please help! My manuscript is due in 2 weeks ...

With big thanks,
Seawater
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« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2011, 11:31:25 PM »
More important? I say, "Sticking to the meter." Because wonky meter just doesn't work--better to just switch the whole thing to prose.

If you need to cut, maybe you can find whole couplets or verses to cut.
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Claudine Gueh
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« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2011, 05:51:06 AM »
Thanks, ColoradoKate, I agree that wonky meter throws me off too ~ I have tried switching to prose but it didn't work as well as the rhymes. And I have cut verses I love but which didn't contribute to the story. (There's a brutal streak flowing in my veins ...)

I'm worried about the 'just' or 'there is' ... you know, what most authors would call 'extra' words. Yet without them, the meter is off.

Thanks again!
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"There's a fickle stream in Grandma's head,
  Trickling, thrashing, dark and cold."

A small PDF gift for you: http://www.carryusoffbooks.com/brightness-sailors.html

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hardt
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« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2011, 06:52:27 AM »
Is it possible to tighten your meter?

I usually rhyme in an eight count, (switching to a six count, or a ten used in sonnets, tends to cause my brain to melt,) but when that is needed, it does severely tighten my word count.
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jfields
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« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2011, 10:26:53 AM »
The meter has to work but perhaps the phrases could be rewritten to eliminate the words without messing up the meter. I've known of picture books authors to spend months on a line to get BOTH the perfect meter and no wasted words. Picture book writers in verse have to juggle EVERYTHING -- meter, tight clear direct language, plot, action, balanced opportunity for illustrations.
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Claudine Gueh
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« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2011, 11:38:10 PM »
Dear Hardt and Jan,

Yes, I can feel my brains melting over the stress and rhythmical feet. Plot, action and space for illustrations have been worked out, so I believe those are fine. Will work harder on the rhythm.
Thanks!

Seawater
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"There's a fickle stream in Grandma's head,
  Trickling, thrashing, dark and cold."

A small PDF gift for you: http://www.carryusoffbooks.com/brightness-sailors.html

I hope to fly free, be kind & burn bright. Love to you all.
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