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Writers Retreat > Student Talk > Course Lessons > Assignment 5 > Help Needed w/Assignment 5b (
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LouiseA
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« on: January 02, 2009, 06:25:57 PM »
I have completed my lesson 5a and 5b but I sit here and wonder if I did 5b correctly.
My husband and I went to our local theater but it's a small town and the movies were all in session and none of the kids were outside roaming.
Then we drove past the bowling alley, but they looked pretty slow on New Years Day Night.
So, when all else fails, we went to Wal-Mart.
Sure enough 5 teens, I guessed the age between 12 and 15, being teens in the sporting goods department.
I was able to observe and take great notes until a store clerk came out from the back and sent them packing.

I typed up 5a quickly and I think I did pretty good with that but (MY QUESTION) Is 5b a fictional story told by your observation subject?  If so I am ok, if not, I need help. Please explain, just what is expected?

Louise
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ColoradoKate
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« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2009, 07:43:42 PM »
Fictional, yes, because you're putting yourself inside the child's mind and making up his or her thoughts and maybe speech. 5b is just a scene, though, not a whole story. Your goal, I think, is to create an authentic voice for that character by having him or her react to something or share thoughts with the reader, without trying to tell a complete story. Does that help?

Kate
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carina
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« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2009, 09:16:21 PM »
Yes, think about what your main character wants mosts, maybe from that sports department. What is standing in his way? What did his friends said? How will he resolve the problem? He doesn't really have to solve it. Yes, it is a fiction story or scene based on the character schets(?) you did in 5A
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chippy
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« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2009, 04:38:41 AM »
Carina, I presume you were trying to say character sketch there.

LouiseA, I think the others have given you the info you need. Do let us know if you need anymore. Smiley
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LouiseA
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« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2009, 06:29:07 PM »
I DON'T KNOW!!

I mean I loved 5a and what I did for 5b (infact I loved it so much I am going to do it a couple more times this week) but then I read lesson 6 thinking I might actually get started on it and that made me wonder if I did 5b correctly. If I had an email instructor then I could email it back and forth but with snail mail.... ugg.

So I did the observation at Walmart. And wrote it up factual, but in paragraph format as I was observing them.
for the Internal Portrait, I wrote it as though they were on the way to Walmart. So it was definately fictional.
Lesson 6 is turning your Lesson 5 into a fictional story, complete with plot.
I don't think my Lesson 5 has much plot in it, although I think it might be a cute short column filler in a magazine, nothing deep.

and I can use the same character from 5 in 6 but have a completely different story, a few days later in his life, problems rise, tension, and then victory.

but.... is lesson 5b right?
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jfields
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« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2009, 06:58:26 PM »
As long as 5b was fiction, in first person, in the voice of the person you observed in 5A, then you're fine. If it also made a coherent scene with showing and maybe some dialogue and a hint of conflict, then you're better than fine -- you're fantastic.

Assignment 6 just means taking the character from Assignment 5b...the fictional version of the person you observed, and putting that character into a fully plotted story. It doesn't have to have any elements of 5b if you have a totally new idea, all it has to have is that person -- and even that is technically optional if you really don't think you like the idea of building a story with that person as main character.

Jan
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LouiseA
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« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2009, 07:29:54 PM »
Thank you Jan! You answered my question! Grin
and .... I think I might just run off to either the movie theater or Walmart (it's a small town) and do it again!
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Shweta
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« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2009, 03:01:49 PM »
Hi LouiseA,

You know I just sent my #6 (after postponing it twice) & I had the same dilema as you.  Just didn't know how to translate that character into a convincing story.

So, I did tweak around the character a bit to fit my plot. I picked out the most eye-catching trait from the 5a character and build my #6 around that trait. So, a restless outgoing boy turned into a girl, who is just as impatient, but is a little shy.

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Dani
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« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2009, 06:06:31 PM »
I thought we were supposed to use the character's traits "as is" to create a story around them, not change the character to fit the story.   Huh?

That's what I did.  I don't have the assignment in front of me because I'm not home. 

Dani
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Danielle
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« Reply #9 on: January 23, 2009, 07:15:23 PM »
Yeah, Dani, for 5B I think you are supposed to--the manual says "create a 350-word inner portrait of that child... " referring to the one from 5A.

But for Assignment 6, the one Shweta refers to, the instructions say to write a story using the "character you developed in Assignment 5... Or you may imagine and develop a new main character... " etc. Shweta was just expanding on the original topic of the thread, I think.

Hope that makes sense.

Kate
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Dani
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« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2009, 09:44:51 PM »
Yes, it makes sense, but if you create a new character for assignment 6,  you're supposed to do another inner portrait/character sketch too....Not just modify the previous character sketch to fit your story.
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Danielle
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« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2009, 12:45:52 AM »
Oh, good point, Dani. Hmm.  Huh?

Kate
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« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2009, 07:35:33 AM »
     I haven't gotten there, yet.  Should I start being afraid of lesson #5?  It doesn't take much to make me afraid of lessons, so if I should start preparing for that, could someone give me the warning, now?  ::beginning to shiver in fear::

Joany
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« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2009, 09:56:49 AM »
Actually instructors are pretty flexible and the suggestion that you do a whole new inner portrait/character sketch is to help you avoid any kind of shallow characterization you *might* have come into the course with and see that a little prewriting can help you have deeper more believable characters. But the instructor doesnt' want to *see* a new inner portrait/character sketch, the manual just suggests you do one for yourself for the sake of having a deeper fuller character.

But if you write Assignment 6 with a new character that includes some aspects of the Assignment 5B character and some changes -- and is a fully realized character -- no instructor on the planet will complain about that. We're mostly concerned about whether you're doing well and improving steadily, how you manage that has some flexibility.

In fact, if you have a really good plot, solid action, believable dialogue, limited telling, no "I am feeling" announcements, and a believable main character who stays in character of the story action...your instructor just might be weeping with joy as she reads. She'll never notice the changes  Grin
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Dani
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« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2009, 10:22:40 AM »
Joany,

It took me a while to do lesson 5.  Mostly, it's because I'm not around kids a lot and when I was, I forgot to observe them for the assignment.  Once I did it, I think it turned out well.  

Dani
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Danielle
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