word count

[ColoradoKate]

You might consider beginning at a later point... maybe with her waking up in the forest. With just a few sentences, she could realize how she got there (and thus fill in the reader) and you could show her fear and desperation. Then you'd be primed to meet the dragon.

Just a thought! 

[LCargile]

hmmm thats a good point..i had her solving the parent conflict, not the lost conflict.
i actually have another idea im working on, but thanks for the tips

[jfields]

CHILDREN always enjoy a story more if the character solves his/her own problem. Publishers know that. BUT all picture books are bought by adults and adults are completely comfortable with stories of adults solving the problems of kids -- picture books and other books where the primary buyer and reader is the adult will have adults solve the problem sometimes. So if kind of depends upon who you're writing for.

But for most children's magazines, editors know the story will be a bigger hit with readers if the clever child solves his/her own problem. Very young children love that most of all because they're the ones struck most with their own powerlessness (hence the amount of frustration/tantrums in young children in real life) and so when they see a kid their own age who doesn't need the adult...who really does do it himself/herself...that's big stuff.

[jfields]

I started cutting out words, and then I felt that I was left with a drab, non-descriptive bore! 

In a situation like that, it's possible that you needed to begin by tightening your scope so that you could still have description and depth. Writing short stories (or articles) is a bit like well digging while writing a full-length novel or book is more like plowing. Both move dirt...but when you have a whole field to cover (in a novel or book) you only move a little dirt at each spot because by the end of the big field...you'll have moved a lot of dirt. So you do a little showing and slow scenes because you have a whole novel to cover.

In a short story, you're still giving detail...moving the dirt...but the scope of the project is totally different. You don't spread out over a big piece of land...you have less time, less characters, less complexity to the plot -- but you're still moving a lot of dirt. You still  need a strongly motivated character who accomplishes something that you show through scenes that constain clear specific action and detail that take place in a specific moment.

In the descriptive assignment we give in the short course -- it's similiar. You set clear specific action and specific detail that covers a very limited slice of time. THAT'S WHERE YOUR LIMIT LIES...in scope of time. If you're cutting out specific detail and specific action and creating a flat dull scene...you're not visualizing the process right. You're still trying desperately to plow...but without moving any dirt. So not only do you not end up with a well (a short focused piece that shows and engages the reader), you don't even end up with a piece of plowed land (a long complex story that shows and engages the reader). You end up with a dull flat piece that tells and doesn't show because you just couldn't write a novel into a short story word count...you couldn't dig a well with a plow.

[Julz]

Jan~

...and here I am, picturing myself digging a well with a spoon.   

The scope of time in my 2nd Assignment covered maybe a total of 10 minutes.  I had 3 scenes-from the kid's bedroom, to the kitchen, to the front door.  I had 2 characters-him and his mom.

I sure wish I could copy & paste it here, so you can tell me what to cut! LOL!  However, I will politely sit on my hands and wait for my instructor to do so.

Again, thanks for all of your help!  After reading that others are facing this same problem, I can't help but think that our wonderful, vivid imaginations just cannot help but write it all down!  (If we don't, M'Lady, our brains MIGHT swell and explode.) 

Now, I am outta here- off to see Alice In Wonderland with the woman who introduced me to the world of reading and the Fantasy Realm- My Mom. <3

Peace,
Julz

[Julz]

You followed a kid around from his bedroom to the kitchen to the front door...didn't he think you were acting a little odd?

Jan,
You don't know my nephew!  He was so busy acting sick so he wouldn't have to go outside, he hardly even noticed I was there!

Alice was EXCELLENT!  The new 3-D glasses they give you are cool, and the effects are amazing!
IMHO, The Red Queen stole the show!
"Off with their heads!"
Peace,
Julz