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Writers Retreat > Student Talk > Course Lessons > Assignment 6 > Assignment #6 question
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Beth Consugar
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« on: January 22, 2010, 10:03:45 PM »
Here I go again with the questions!  

I would love to use the child I observed for assignment 5.  I just don't know if I have a strong story for her.  She's a tennager - senior in high school.  In the innter portrait, I imagined that she was nervous about an upcoming test.  She needed to study hard...skipped a trip to see her older sister perform her first solo in the university orchestra to stay home and study.  Now, on to what I have for a possible story for assignment #6.  I would like to have her feel confident as she finishes the test.  Then she goes to another class where the teacher announces that she will be collecting the students' essays that are due today.  That's when my mc realizes she forgot about the essay.  She has a draft of the essay with her.  The teacher realizes that mc has turned in a draft (reason to be explained in the story!), and offers to accept a final version the next day, but points will be deducted for lateness.  The test and the essay are important to mc because she has a chance at being class valedictorian.  If any of her grades fall, mc worries that she won't be valedictorian.  After this incident with the esay, she vows to keep better track of her upcoming assignmetns, especially since she will be going off to college next year.  My question is this - is there enough conflict and enough change in the mc (her vow to use a calendar to track assignments) to make it a reasonable fiction piece for teens?

Thanks!
Beth
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ColoradoKate
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« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2010, 11:00:30 PM »
My question is, would a girl who's in line to be valedictorian not already have a system for keeping track of assignments and deadlines? I can see how she might mess up, what with anxiety about the test (and maybe other things), but it's hard for me to imagine that she wouldn't already be using a calendar or something similar. Just a thought!
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« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2010, 11:17:31 PM »
I think the conflict should center on a fear on exam taking.  Speaking from personal experience, I would be very nervous and almost ill before some exams. I would suggest that she be filled with doubts that she pushes herself to overcome.  The story leading up to the successful exam result should be a trial that is overcome. Perhaps on the way to the exam something can happen, like a car accident or an illness of someone close so the successful result of the test is in doubt.  I think the reader needs to think that things are going badly and the teenager is not sure if they have what it takes. In the end, they are proven to have it.
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jfields
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« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2010, 10:08:49 AM »
In the idea you have, you have story pressure -- a girl with a strong need to achieve discovers she forgot the deadline for an essay and it's upon her with only a draft in hand -- you have one action -- she turns in the draft -- and then her "action" is done. She can't do anything else. She's in a state of extreme powerlessness. So the story is a reminder to teens that they're basically in a grind they can do nothing about. She promises herself to do better next time, sure...we all did. Every time the system knocked us down because we really couldn't keep up, we promised to do better next time. That's not action, it's bail out on action. To make a story, you need some action...she needs to do something tangible to change the situation and the story pressure. She can't have one action and then bail.

So a story of a girl who forgets an essay's due date in the extreme pressure of achievement is a story a lot of teens would relate to -- but reminding them that they can't do a freaking thing about it. All they can do is vow to do better next time, to be more super human, to be more of a perfectionist. That's real life, but for the reader, it's really really depressing to know she couldn't win. She was doomed the second she missed the deadline.
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Beth Consugar
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« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2010, 03:18:59 PM »
This is exactly why I am love this forum more every day!  These are some of the same comments that my instructor would have made if I had submitted the story as I have it plotted now!  Now I have something to chew on for a while.  Not sure what I will do with this.  Perhaps I will need a different story, or perhaps, as some of you mentioned, throw in a surprise BEFORE the test, then have her overcome that obstacle to get to the test.

Thanks!

Beth
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"It's not about how hard you hit.  It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward"  Rocky Balboa

"Life's like a novel, with the end ripped out" ~ Rascal Flatts

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain.
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