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Writers Retreat > Student Talk > Course Lessons > Assignment 2 > Story clarification
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mam2263
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« on: August 03, 2009, 01:04:41 PM »
My daughter is a reading teacher and critiques my work.  She said that I have in my mind what I want to write but I'm not making it clear to the reader.  I am ready to turn in assignment#2.  I actually wrote 2 stories and decided to turn in the one for teenagers.  I wrote one for younger readers.  It was based on an experience I had when I was in preschool.  My daughter said, that I know what is happening but I'm not making it clear to the reader.  Anyone else having this problem?Huh?
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Mikki S
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« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2009, 04:36:07 PM »
Hi mam,

It would be hard to say exactly what you mean by story clarification, without reading your story.  I have finished the first course and just finished the novel course, so if you would like another eye, you can send me your story and I'll critique it for you.  You can either PM me, or use my email which is listed in my profile.  If you want to, of course!  Smiley

Mikki
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JuneRose
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« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2009, 07:37:34 PM »
I don't understand your dilemna, but am willing to take a look at one of your stories.  I'm no expert, but am willing to give you my opinion.  Either PM me or use my email in profile.  Either way, good luck, June Rose
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chippy
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« Reply #3 on: August 21, 2009, 04:03:05 AM »
mam, you've had some offers from people to read your story.

They do say family are not the best place to take your stories. But that aside, send it to the two girls who have offered, or just take the plunge and send it to your instructor. They will be able to tell you if it is clear or not. Send it in and let your instructor know your concerns. I'm sure he/she will be more than willing to give you some pointers on dealing with this.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll get it sorted. Smiley
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« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2009, 11:42:19 AM »
This is something that a lot of students deal with actually, so don't worry. What happens is, you are aware of everything that is going on, because you were there, You have the entire story in your minds eye. Your job is to convey that to the reader. If you leave things out, the entire picture won't get across to the reader. The best solution for this is editing. Try putting it down, and going back to it with a fresh mind. Instead of relying on your memory to fill in the blanks, recognize that they are there and fill 'em in!
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« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2009, 11:49:11 AM »
Mam,

Include me in those who desire to take a look at what you write.  Feel free to PM me. 

Know that you are far from being the only one with this problem.  As Jamie explained so well, we tend to know what is in our mind, but it many not make it down on the page in its entirety.  I always have someone else take a look at my work. They don't view it through the eyes of preconceived images/words/experience.  Fresh eyes are always a good idea.

Best wishes,
Marie
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Marie Elena Smiley
"And I'll be the poet who sings your glory - and live what I sing every day."  ~ Psalm 61:8.
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