Blogger KRISTI HOLL is the author of 42 books, including
MORE WRITER'S FIRST AID.

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January 11, 2013

reinsI’ve been reading a book on how fear affects writing (and art-making of all kinds). Fear is what holds many (even most) of us back from being the writers we dream of being–and probably could be.

Art & Fear suggests that these fears fall into two main categories: (1) fears about yourself, and (2) fears of how others will receive your work.

The fears about yourself prevent you from doing your best work. Fears about your reception by others prevent you from doing your own work.

The Great Pretender (or fears about self)

When you doubt your own abilities, you feel like a fake, an impostor. You feel like your best work was an accident, a happy fluke that you can’t seem to duplicate. It feels as if you’re going through the motions of being a writer–typing, reading how-to books and magazines, attending conferences–but you suspect that you don’t really know what you’re doing. (And we wrongly assume that all those other writers DO know what they’re doing.)

You also suspect you don’t have any real talent. After all, talented people perform their art with ease. Writers might start out that way, but inevitably you reach a point (if you’re truly working) where it definitely is NOT easy! You take that as a sign that you don’t really have enough talent to be a writer after all. (Truth: talent is a gift, and most people have enough talent. Probably 95% of success is what you do with it–and for writers, that means showing up at the page consistently.)

These fears WILL keep you from doing your best work.

Whose Priorities Count? (or fears about others)

The best writing is not produced by committee. It’s produced when a writer who is passionate about an idea is left alone to create. At these times we aren’t even thinking about others.

Problems arise when we confuse others’ priorities with our own. In our heads, we hear these critical voices. (Some come from our pasts, some from current writing friends, some from what we read in magazines and publishing journals.) Since published writers depend on reviews for sales, what others think has to matter at some point. However, when others’ opinions–how they think we should write–influences you too much and too soon in the process, you stop writing what you truly love and start writing what “they” have said is better or more salable.

Wanting to be understood is a basic need, and writers want others to understand their stories. They don’t want to be booed off the stage for being too different. (We all learned at an early age the dangers of being considered different or weird.) So the inner war continues with writers: can I find the courage to be true to what I need to write, or will I buckle to others’ opinions so I have a better chance of being received well? Buckling to fears of being misunderstood makes you dependent on your readers or audience.

These fears WILL keep you from doing your own work.

Ponder This…

This coming week, when you’re out scooping snow or taking a walk, give these two questions some thought:

What fears do you have about yourself that prevent you from doing your BEST work?

What fears about your reception by others prevents you from doing your OWN work?

And if you’re REALLY brave, leave a comment about one (or both). It will give me ideas for future topics!

October 9, 2012

Do you keep a journal specifically for each novel you write? I don’t, but I’m glad some writers do.

I’m even more glad that they willingly share their soul-baring angst with us.

Eye Opener

One of my favorite mystery writers is internationally bestselling author, Elizabeth George, writer of the Inspector Lynley books that have been made into Masterpiece Mystery movies. She writes “literary mysteries,” that excellent combination of fast-paced, intricately plotted whodunits and fully realized 3D characters in “you are right there” settings. The fact that they are set in England is the icing on the cake for me.

Lately I’ve been re-reading Elizabeth George’s excellent writing book, Write Away: One Novelist’s Approach to Fiction and the Writing Life. Throughout the book, she shares snippets from her work-in-progress journals.

In Her Own Words

At the time of this book’s writing, she had had thirteen novels published. (She has twenty-one now, if I counted right.) Keep that in mind as you read her journal entries (below) of her feelings about writing and the writing life.

“I’m trying to work for an hour each day. That’s all I can demand of myself…I became so incapacitated by fear that I was having trouble getting out of bed in the morning. I finally resorted to saying, ‘These are only words and I will not let words defeat me’ in order to get up and get to work. Thus I struggled to the end of the novel.”

and

“I have a love-hate relationship with the writing life. I wouldn’t wish to have any other kind of life…and on the other hand, I wish it were easier. And it never is…I would never have believed it would take such effort.”

If award-winning, mega-selling writers feel this way when creating fiction (and how I bless her for her honesty!), then it should come as no surprise if you and I also feel this way. Apparently it is common to those who strive to write fiction with excellence.

One Answer

Successful career authors find ways to work with and work around these fears and insecurities. Let me share Elizabeth George’s words of wisdom. If it resonates with you as it does with me, you’ll want to buy her book.

“Every writer has to develop her own process: what works for her time and time again. Having no process is like having no craft…Having no process puts you at enormous risk because writing becomes a threat instead of a joy, something that you are terrified to begin each day because you are at the mercy of a Muse that you do not understand how to beckon. If I had no process and no craft to fall back on, I would be paralyzed with fear every morning and, frankly, I see no fun in that.”

She outlines her 14-step process in the book. It makes good sense to me, and it’s similar to the steps I often now follow when writing a novel.

We All Do It Differently

Each writer has his/her own way of doing things. What your process is like doesn’t really matter–if it works for you. However, do find out what kind of process produces your best work. How?

That’s one big value of keeping a novel-in-progress journal (notes to yourself about the novel and your feelings and the problems or successes you have with it). You have, when finished, a complete description of your writing process!

Analyze Your Notes

You’ll have concrete information. You’ll know how much planning you did, what order you worked on things, what time of day and what places produced the most writing…your process. You can then repeat what worked for you–and eliminate what didn’t.

You can also later read all those angst-filled passages and realize you survived those writing days just fine. It will help when they roll around again–when you start your next novel!

How about YOU? Do these journal entries ring any bells for you? Is this ever your experience?

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September 11, 2012

Last week we talked about “weakened mind anxiety” and what that feels like.

Symptoms that rear their ugly heads just before you try to write include fatigue, foggy brain, depression and an urge to cry/sleep/watch TV/surf the ‘Net. (from Fearless Creating by Eric Maisel)

What’s the Problem?

Before we talk about solutions, I think it would be helpful to explore why we experience so much anxiety when trying to do creative work. For me, at least, understanding is half the battle.

Mastering Creative Anxiety (another book by Eric Maisel) talks about various reasons this occurs. One or more (or all of them!) may apply to you. As with most ailments, different causes require different solutions.

1. Desire for Excellence

We love books. We love to read. We have stories we’ve treasured since childhood. We have high standards when it comes to what we like to read.

We doubt the quality of our work as we measure it against these high standards and strive to make our work excellent. We know the quality of writing we dream of producing. The gap between our desire and what we actually write causes high anxiety.

2. Negative Self-Talk

Our thoughts dictate, to a large degree, what our anxiety level is on any given day. Think thoughts like “I’ll always be mediocre” or “I’ll never sell another book” or “I have no idea what I’m doing,” and you’ll procrastinate into a major writing block.

Thoughts like this are not just “unhelpful.” They are damaging to a huge degree, pulling us further down in a black hole.

3. The Creative Process Itself

I had never thought of this, but Maisel is so right when he talks about the creative process being exactly the opposite of how we spend the rest of our days, so it goes against the grain.

As he points out, our entire days are spent trying to avoid mistakes and “get it right.” You get up at the right time, you eat the right foods (or try to), drive on the right side of the road, use your computer correctly so it doesn’t malfunction, etc. Your whole day and mind are aimed at not making mistakes and avoiding unnecessary risks. Maisel points out:

“Then, somehow, you must shift from that way of being and thinking to a radically different state, one in which mistakes and messes are not only possible and probable but downright guaranteed. Of course that makes you anxious!”

4. Procrastinating

Procrastination produces anxiety. We feel immobilized and trapped by our own resistance. It erodes our self-image.

Whatever caused us initially to block only grows with procrastination. It is, says Maisel,

“a classic vicious cycle, in which our new anxiety prevents us from dealing with whatever provoked our initial anxiety and caused us to procrastinate.”

The Good News

Now that we’ve defined and described weakened mind anxiety, and we’ve considered the main causes, we’ll be ready next week to discuss the anxiety-management skills that can defeat it!

September 4, 2012

For the past week, I’ve been suffering from “weakened mind anxiety,” according to Eric Miasel’s Fearless Creating. It’s the anxiety that comes when you begin a piece of work.

 

It’s not the anxiety that comes from choosing an idea. It’s not anxiety from developing characters and plot. It’s not anxiety produced by setting some deadlines.

 

It’s the anxiety that grips us when we try to actually begin the writing—and what can prevent us from ever getting started.

 

Symptoms of Weakened Mind Anxiety

 

How do you know if you have weakened mind anxiety? (Don’t be alarmed if all these symptoms feel familiar. There are some very workable solutions we’ll talk about later.)

 

Symptoms of “weakened mind anxiety” can be experienced as:

 

All the symptoms—and I experienced most of them every day last week—do not mean you’re a failure, or the story isn’t ready to be written, or that you’re not a “real” writer. They are simply the physical and mental consequences of anxiety.

As Maisel says, “Your mind has weakened in the face of the difficulties you believe will engulf you if and when you begin.”

 

We’re In This One Together

 

The inexperienced wannabe writer and the experienced published writer both go through this. It’s not because you’re a beginner. And it may not happen all the time. I never, ever have this issue with nonfiction.

 

Nonfiction feels like term papers from school, and those were always easy for me, so I expect nonfiction to be easier. It’s just something to sit down and do. But for me—and many of my fellow writers—spinning a fiction tale out of thin air feels as comfortable as bungee jumping.

 

What’s a Writer To Do?

 

There are inappropriate (and harmful) ways to treat this weakened mind anxiety. There are also appropriate (and helpful) ways to treat it. (We’ll talk about both cases next week.)

 

However, not writing is not a solution—not if you’re called to write and it’s your dream. As Fran Lebowitz said,

“Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I’ve ever encountered. It takes it out of you. It’s very psychically wearing not to write—I mean if you’re supposed to be writing.”

 

Maisel says when you feel like this that your mind has lost its muscle tone. I love that image. Next week we’ll talk about getting rid of that mind flab—and getting it back in shape to create.

July 10, 2012

fear“Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

I’ve been re-reading James Scott Bell’s excellent book The Art of War for Writers, and he says that “the biggest mental obstacle–in writing, in war, in life itself–is fear.”

I would agree 100%.

How do we fear writing?

Let me count the ways… Bell mentions several kinds of fear that plague writers. Do you find yourself in this list? Do you have additional fears?

Fear of:

The Quality of Fearlessness

Bell wrote about the young Teddy Roosevelt who was a sick, frail, fearful child–and what changed him into the fearless leader of history. Basically, he learned the old adage of “fake it till you make it” or “act as if.” Bell says that fearful writers become fearless writers in the same way.

Sure, you will set goals and get prepared. And (if you’re like me) you’ll pray for help. But in the end you will need to act as if you’re a successful, fearless writer until (over time) your feelings catch up with your behavior and you actually become one.

Start Today

When fear in some form hits you today, what immediate action step could you take in the face of that fear? How would a professional, successful writer deal with that fear?

What is one way you can channel that fear into energy for your writing?

Be fearless today and, as battle buddies, share one tip you’ve used successfully to win the war on the many fears of writing.

February 22, 2012

“But I don’t want to fail again.”

I’ve said it to myself often enough. Students over the years have said that to me countless times. That fear of failure often happens when  it is time to set goals or start a new project.

“It is wise to make a plan,” says creativity coach, Eric Maisel, author of Coaching the Artist Within. “However, since we make so many resolutions and break them, set so many goals and fall short of realizing them, and create so many plans without following through on them, we become reluctant to plan. We prefer not to plan so as not to disappoint ourselves one more time.”

I’m at that point this week, looking at two novels I worked on last year that I simply couldn’t make “work.” I started them over several times, trying different angles, but no luck. I still like the ideas a lot, but I find myself leery of making one more stab at them. I’m afraid of wasting my writing time and having nothing to show for it. I’m more than leery. I’m stuck.

One of Maisel’s solutions is to make a simple plan. He says to leave out the complexities that just make things harder. His idea of a simple plan is: I will try to write every day. (No rules or details, no set number of pages, no word count, etc.) Or even better, I plan to write today. But is that enough? Not for me.

A Simple Plan

A simple plan is well and good, but getting started is still the hardest part (for me anyway) when facing a project where fear of failure is high. (It doesn’t have to be writing the Great American Novel either. It can simply be a project I’ve “failed” on before.)

We want to change an action here—get started and keep going. It’s often not as simple as “just do it!” though. We have to back up and change the fearful emotion that drives the writer’s block and procrastination. And to do that we have to back up and change the thought that creates the emotion.

Sometimes changing your thoughts is enough to get you going. But repeating “thoughts” or “affirmations” that some articles suggest (like “I am the country’s best writer, and agents are fighting to represent me”) are just absurd to me. My brain, anyway, kicks something like that right back out. I simply don’t believe it. If I did, I wouldn’t be stuck.

What’s the Answer?

We need to back up one additional step. Your automatic thoughts come from your beliefs about yourself as a writer. The beliefs need to change before you will think healthy thoughts, that flow into healthy writing emotions, and then produce good actions (writing). I think beliefs need to be true, though, for them to be of immediate use to you.

If you are believing a pack of lies (like “I’ll never write any better” and “You have to know someone in publishing to sell a novel”) then start with the lies you are believing and replace them with truth. One good source for this is another of Maisel’s books, Write Mind: 299 Things Writers Should Never Say to Themselves (and What They Should Say Instead).

The Process

Facing a blank page or facing a revision can cause fear. We may not know what to do, or we may know what needs to be done, yet fear that we don’t have the skill to pull it off. When facing something fearful, the thoughts that automatically spring forth have to do with what we believe about staying safe and getting our needs met.

As I look at the novels I want to tackle again this year, the automatic thoughts that spring to mind include: “I’ve already wasted months of writing time on these novels, so why waste more?” and “I need to be doing work-for-hire projects instead and make money during my writing time” and “I don’t want to spend months on something just to fail again” and “I’ll never get this novel  done” and “This project is above my skill level, and I’ll never be that good.”

All those thoughts have to do with staying safe (I don’t want to fail again) and getting needs met (income from writing and feeling like the writing will matter.)

Writer’s Block Smashed: Replace Lies with Truth

Last week I made a long list of truths to replace my automatic thoughts (those “lies in disguise.”) Some of them are faith-based which wouldn’t maybe apply to everyone. But some of them apply to all writers. (I’ll list a few below.) Just the act of writing down these truths and re-reading them before my writing time in the morning is already changing my ability to tackle the first novel.

My fifty or so new truths include:

As I’ve said countless times here, and in both Writer’s First Aid and the new More Writer’s First Aid, we’re all in this together. Writers have always dealt with these issues. But instead of feeling the fear and inadequacy (and then buying a box of Krispie Kremes and turning on the TV), take the time to figure out what lies you are believing about your writing.

Replace them with truth—and see how that changes your emotions and subsequent action. You’ll write more. You’ll write better. You’ll enjoy your daily writing time. Publication will most likely eventually follow, but it will become less important than your daily experience of enjoying the writing.

Just for reference, here are the Eric Maisel books on my own writing shelf that I have found very helpful over the years:

December 16, 2011

We’ve talked about the benefits of writing in flow, in that relaxed timeless state, and we’ve talked about the first key to developing this skill: have a reason to write.

Today let’s look at Key #2: thinking like a writer. These keys are based on Susan Perry’s Writing in Flow.

CHANGE MY THINKING?

We all think like writers already, or we wouldn’t be writing, correct? True enough, but in this series we’re concentrating on developing the ability to write in flow. Do writers who frequently write deeply and easily think differently?

Yes, it appears that they do. They have a certain set of attitudes, based on hundreds of Perry’s interviews. If we study these attitudes and beliefs and incorporate them into our own thinking, we should also be able to write in flow, be more productive, and enjoy the writing more.

WRITER ATTITUDES

This doesn’t mean you need a new personality. Quite the contrary. Be who you are, Perry says. “When you work with what comes naturally to you rather than struggling against it—whether it’s your preference for an uncluttered workspace or your tendency to do the opposite when those little voices in your head suggest that you ought to be answering those letters rather than writing a poem—you can apply your energy to what matters most to you.”

Another attitude, especially with writers in the early years, has to do with spending free time pursuing writing. They may be “troubled by the niggling feeling that taking too much time for their writing is slightly selfish because it’s like stealing time from their family,” Perry says. “If you identify with that second attitude, naturally you might find it more difficult to let go and focus fully when you do sit down to write.”

This attitude is easy to overcome after you are published and making money at your writing. Before that, I found that I got over the guilt when I took my writing time from my own free time activities—my sleep, TV, time with my friends. I gave up my own “extras” instead of taking it from the family, and then I didn’t feel guilty. It’s very hard to relax and write “in flow” when you’re feeling guilty!

RISK TAKING

Relaxing into flow—that essential letting go—can feel risky to certain personality types like mine. I don’t like risks, and I spend too much time probably trying to avoid risks. I would love it if I could make all my loved ones stop taking risks too! However, being afraid to take risks in your writing can stifle you as a writer.

“Taking risks, of whatever kind, can be especially challenging to those who can’t bear to give up control,” Perry says. “You can learn to open yourself to the unexpected, which is such a rich source of creative insight, by giving up control in small ways.” Remember, we’re talking about taking risks in your writing. You can certainly still control all the things in your environment that help you get into the flow state: clean desk, soft music, set daily routines, writing in certain locations, whatever you need.

For many writers, taking risks with your writing—in subject matter, in tone—can be scary. What will XXX think? (XXX = your editor, your mother, your spouse, the critics…) If you are focused on the fear of taking risks and what others will think, you can’t relax enough to enter the flow state.

One day I realized that in order to avoid that feeling, I only had to promise myself never to show the story to anyone if I didn’t want to. It never had to see the light of day, never had to offend anyone or hurt someone’s feelings. That decision helped me to write freely. And when I’d get to a place in the story that set off internal alarm bells (“You can’t say that!”), I said to myself (out loud), “No one ever needs to see this. I can say what I want. I can always change it later if I want to.” Writing this way, there is no risk involved whatsoever—and you can’t fail.

BE FULLY ABSORBED

Being fully absorbed in your work is very close to working in flow. And it’s a decision you can choose to make more often. Being fully absorbed means you “are deeply immersed in some activity as to be impervious to distractions…As a personality trait, absorption reflects the degree of your tendency to become deeply engaged in movies, nature, past events, fantasy or anything else.”

This type of person will have an easier time entering the flow state, which requires an ability to become deeply engaged and weed out distractions. A fully absorbed person can watch a good movie or read a good book and forget (temporarily) about negative distractions like his hunger, his headache, and her fight with her spouse—or lovely distractions like the phone, a beautiful day outside, or the cake in the kitchen.

BECOME CONFIDENT

You don’t start out writing with confidence or the ability to bounce back from rejection. You will need to find ways to master your fears, find confidence in your own writing voice, plus deal with isolation and self-doubt. All writers have to do this. I wrote many years with no confidence whatsoever. It can be done, but it’s rather torturous. I wasn’t writing in the enjoyable, timeless flow we’re talking about.

If you want help in this area, I highly recommend Cecil Murphey’s new book called Unleash the Writer Within: the Essential Writers’ Companion. Rather than working to overcome your weaknesses, the author shows you how to make friends with them and turn them into strengths. He deals with helping you find your real voice, like yourself, deal with the inner critic in an usual way, shatter writer’s block, and more. And he does all this in such a kind, straightforward and transparent way. Cec Murphey has millions of books in print and speaks from experience.

LONG-TERM PREPARATION FOR WRITING

If you have several attitudes mentioned above that need adjusting, you can’t just sit down and decide to think like a writer right now, so you can slip into flow. It takes time, depending on your mental attitudes at this time.

Developing the above attitudes will help you tolerate anxiety, be more open to new experiences, and learn to trust the writer you already are. If you feel like you need help in this area of “writerly attitudes that benefit you,” Unleash the Writer Within is my suggestion for you. I wish I’d had this book thirty years ago.

I’ve given you a lot to think about this week on the subject of writing in flow. Next week we’ll begin with Key #3: Loosen Up!

 

November 25, 2011

While eating your turkey and pumpkin pie left-overs today, here are some terrific articles to boost your creativity, rise above your writing fears, be encouraged in marketing your novel, and keep on keeping on!

 

Fourth week pep talk from a published author who uses NaNoWriMo in his own unique way–four great lessons learned here.

Blogs may be easy for nonfiction writers, but what about novelists? What is there to blog about? See this article on 13 Blog Post Ideas for Novelists.

Week three pep talk on how to keep going, knowing when to quit, and more.

Oh what to do about our writer’s fears? The title says it all! [I had read this before and got just as much out of reading it again. It's a good one to mark and re-read occasionally.]

 

As I said on Wednesday, this holiday weekend would be a good time to think ahead to your 2012 writing goals. The articles above will give you good things to consider. I’m excited to be heading into the new year with you!

June 6, 2011

bookstoreI have a confession to make. Being a children’s writer has taken away much of the joy in browsing the children’s sections of book stores.

Oh, I love book stores themselves–the brick ‘n’ mortar kind, plus anything online. But if I want to enjoy my book store visit, I avoid the children’s section. Until recently, I thought I was the only one who found the experience intimidating.

Book Store Phobia

I was reading in Eric Maisel’s book Deep Writing about a much-published, midlist women’s fiction author who wanted to “break out” and write a really solid book, but one that also had commercial success. “She finds her first step appalling but necessary: to spend an afternoon in a chain book store strategically browsing bestselling deep-writingwomen’s fiction. She knows just which inner demons this visit will activate–feelings of envy, a vision of herself as a failure, a sense that others can effortlessly play a game whose rules she either doesn’t understand or refuses to understand.”

This phobia struck me early in my writing career, thirty years ago while I was still a student at the Institute of Children’s Literature. It happened when I did my assignments on studying the markets, reading children’s magazines and books. As instructed, I browsed book stores, seeing what kids liked and what publishers were doing.

Deadly Comparisons

At first, it was fun, but eventually I realized I was dreading the book store visits and magazine reading. It had stopped being fun. Instead, it left my already shaky self-esteem even lower. I couldn’t imagine ever studying my craft long enough to be able to write like the books I was reading.

After being published for several years and finding my books on the shelves in stores, I fully expected the “I’ll never be good enough” feeling to pass. But our minds, when left to themselves, are tricky things! If I found my books on the shelves, I’d wonder why they hadn’t sold. If I didn’t find my books on the shelves, I hoped they were sold out, but I never had the nerve to ask if they’d ever been on the shelf in the first place.

Back in the Saddle

The phobia seems to be a thing of the past–almost. While browsing now, I remember that the book I am holding is probably a collaborative effort between the author and his/her agent and editor. I remind myself that it undoubtedly went through a gazillion revisions even after it sold. Even if the process is intimidating, we need to know what is being published in our field. In other words, it’s like the book by Susan Jeffers that says Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

Does anyone else deal with this book store phobia? I hope it’s not just me!

November 24, 2010

attitudeHope you read “Who’s in Charge?” (Part 1) first!

On Monday I talked about taking charge of your negative thought because where the mind goes, the man (or woman) follows! And how will that help?

Attitudes

Changing your thoughts will change your attitudes and emotional feelings about writing. Instead of postponing happiness until you get published, for example, choose to be content with your writing today.

Choose to enjoy the act of putting words down on paper to capture an image. Choose to enjoy delving into your memories for a kernel of a story idea. Choose to enjoy the process of reading back issues of magazines you want to submit to. Choose to enjoy reading a book on plot or dialogue or characterization for tips you can apply to your stories.

Instead of feeling pressured to succeed quickly, choose to be patient with your learning curve. Choose to be happy about each small, steady step forward.

Zoom Out!

Look at the larger picture, how each writing day is another small building block laying the foundation of your career. Stay present in the present! Pace yourself with the determined attitude of the tortoise instead of the sprinter attitude of the hare.

You also need to choose an attitude of commitment. Commit to your goals and deadlines, to continued improvement in your writing, and to dealing with negative feelings as they come up. Commitment is more than “I wish” or “I’d like.” Commitment is “I will.” There is a huge difference! (Like the gap between a man saying, “Gee, I’d like to marry you” and “Will you marry me–here’s the ring–let’s set a date!”)

Move from the wishy-washy attitude of “I’d like to be a writer” to the commitment level of “I’ll do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to be a successful writer.” That one change in attitude can be what determines if you make it as a writer.

(Stay tuned for Part 3 on Friday.)

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