August 23, 2010

“Enthusiasm, motivation, and dedication are necessary for your success as a writer,” says Kelly L. Stone, author of Living Write: the secret to inviting your craft into your daily life.

But…what if you don’t have all those emotional tools (the enthusiasm, motivation and dedication) at your disposal? “Don’t worry,” says Kelly. “They can be learned as part of the thought-feeling-behavior cycle.”

Same Old Thing? Not!

I’ve heard before that thoughts cause your feelings which cause your actions, and you probably have to. However, Ms. Stone gives a very helpful twist to the “you can change how you feel and act by changing how you think” mantra. And this “plus” makes the idea instantly useful to anyone trying to improve her writing life.

How? By seeing this as a cycle, not a linear set of events. I’d always heard that you had to go in order-1, 2, 3. You change your thoughts first, then your feelings would change, and then your behavior would change. However, this author claims (and I agree after trying it out) that it’s not a straight line, but instead a cycle that runs like a loop.

What does this mean to writers? It means you change any one element of the cycle, and you will by necessity change the other two parts. You don’t have to start with changing your thoughts if you don’t want to. You can change your writing life by changing whatever is easiest for you.

Practical Terms

For example, maybe you’re a Nike-Just-Do-It! kind of writer. You can’t bring your thoughts or emotions into subjection, but you can grit your teeth and sit yourself down at the keyboard right on schedule. If that’s true-if controlling behavior is the easiest part of the cycle for you-then skip worrying about your thoughts and feelings and hit the behavior first.

Maybe it’s easier for you to deal with feelings. I know a perky, sanguine writer whose depressed anxious feelings rebound to optimism just by taking a nap! However, maybe for a variety of publishing and non-publishing reasons, your feelings about writing are sour, and fixing those ricocheting feelings is a losing battle. Then tackle another part of the cycle that is easier for you. (Personally, no matter what I’m going through, I find controlling or changing feelings the hardest part.)

Of the three aspects of the cycle, thoughts are easiest for me to change. It means I have to tell myself the truth, but in a kind way. (See Pitch It to Yourself and In Your Write Mind.) Over the years, for many problems that I faced, I learned the importance of positive affirmations based on truth. I saw that repeating these truths daily for weeks and months could totally reprogram my brain and change my attitude, my feelings, and the resultant actions.

No Right or Wrong Way

The point? Whatever part of the cycle is easiest for you on any given day, do that. You only need to change one element of the cycle in order to affect the other parts. One day you might find it easiest to self-talk your feelings into shape; other days it might just be easier to sit down and write and forget about your depression for a while. Whichever aspect you choose, it will affect your writing.

If you think more positively about your writing, your feelings will improve and you’ll find yourself wanting to sit down and write.

Or you can work on the feelings part: the author suggested saying, “I love to write!” whenever your feelings were negative. Those improved feelings will prompt you to write, and writing for an hour or two will change how you think about yourself.

Or work on the behaviors part-bribe yourself to sit down and write each morning for a set amount of time, and see how that reprograms your thoughts and feelings about yourself as a writer.

It All Adds Up

Changing one aspect of the cycle changes them all. You may have to experiment to find which part changes most easily for you. Instead of succumbing to a downward negative spiral, one change and you boost the cycle upward.

“You can see how thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are directly connected,” says Ms. Stone. “This is why learning to control your thought-feeling-behavior cycle is so important–because it’s cumulative and self-perpetuating.”

Which part of the cycle do you suspect would be the easiest part for you to change ? Leave a comment below!

August 18, 2010

“Some days, even the best dentist doesn’t feel like being a dentist,” says Seth Godin on his blog. “And a lifeguard might not feel like being a lifeguard. Fortunately, they have appointments, commitments and jobs. They have to show up. They have to start doing the work.”

The result?

“Most of the time, this jump start is sufficient to get them over the hump, and then they go back to being in the zone and doing their best work.”

But…What About Writers?

If we work at home, we don’t have to keep strict office hours. No one will know–or the little ones underfoot won’t care–if we keep that “appointment” with our novel or article or lesson. No one will fire us if we don’t show up and do our writing.

It’s not that writers can’t have the momentum of the dentist or lifeguard. It’s just that no outside boss is going to help you get going, get over the hump, and build that momentum. You will have to do it yourself.

You must be a self-starter. (Gulp.) That’s the truth.

Help Is on the Way

There are terrific motivational books for writers. I’ve blogged about many of them. You can also re-read some blog entries on getting started or entries on the psychology of writing. These will often be enough to prime the pump and get you to the computer or legal pad.

Getting started and building your own writing momentum is a struggle for ALL writers. That’s why ten chapters in my Writer’s First Aid book are devoted to getting started and ten more on work habits that work for you. (Here you’ll find four sample chapters.)

What about you? What is one technique or ritual you use that gets you started writing?

[NOTE: see Nancy's comment below--great idea!]

August 11, 2010

There are days you wake up feeling ache-y because, although you slept hard, you slept funny. There’s a kink in your back or neck. Something isn’t right.

Some evenings your spirit feels “not quite right” as well. Could it be that on those days you worked hard, but you “worked funny”?

Self-Deception

This idea of working “funny” came from Seth Godin’s blog a few days ago, and it really made me think. He said that there are days you work long and hard, convinced that you’ve accomplished something–but you haven’t.

We react, respond, put out fires, attend to others’ projects, answer emails, go to meetings, check off items on a list–yet we’re out of sorts and feel lousy and unproductive at the end of the day.

Which One is You?

I vacillate from one extreme to another, it seems. For example, yesterday, before doing any lessons or blogging or emails, I wrote more than three hours on a novel I had been neglecting for weeks. Then I felt productive and happy and satisfied.

The previous weeks, though, I worked funny. I attended to lengthy lists of chores and office jobs daily, but felt dissatisfied and unproductive. (Truthfully, “working funny” is harder on my spirit than sleeping badly.) Despite being exhausted by evening, I felt restless as well.

Self-Reflection Time

If you’re a writer, I suspect you can identify with the “working funny” dissatisfaction and restlessness described above. Or is it just me?

How does skipping your writing in favor of other busy work make you feel at the end of the day?

July 28, 2010

I received a lot of email about “Obsessed? Absolutely” based on Brainstorm by Eric Maisel. I want to write more about it this week, plus the 30-day “Creative Obsession Challenge” I’m planning with a writer friend in August.

I also want to clarify that this obsessing is more than just heavily thinking about something; it’s about turning that obsession brainstorm into actually creating.

From Thinking to Writing

I’m 2/3 of the way through Maisel’s book, which I am finding intriguing. We all obsess about things or events or people. It seems to be the human default position. However, the idea of turning that wasted obsessing into creative obsession that moves the writing forward excites me.

I like his tips on spotting negative obsessions, as well as preventing your creative obsession from sliding into something negative. His ideas of how to work this creative obsessing time into an already full life were good and echoed many of the things we’ve discussed on this blog.

FYI

While I want to share a lot of Maisel’s ideas, my concern is that I don’t plagiarize his book here. For example, I’d like to give you his ten steps from Chapter Eleven on “Your Productive Obsession Checklist,” but I shouldn’t. You’ll need to buy his book for that.

However, a friend of mine who was involved with the research Maisel did for Brainstorm sent me a link to a lengthy interview with the author. This gives a good overview of the book and its ideas. I hope you’ll read it.

To whet your appetite for exploring this “creative obsession” idea on your own, I will quote from some of the people who took his 30-Day Challenge.  There were many ups and downs throughout the month as people bit into their creative obsessions and held on for the ride. But reading their final reports made me say, “I want that too!”

Productive Changes

For example, at the end of the month of “creatively obsessing,” here’s what some people were saying:

• Jerry: The thing that surprised me the most was how happy I have been this month…It made me realize that I’m the one who makes up the rules that I live by, so it helped me break out of some old habits.
• Alice: I recognized the difference between my negative obsessive thoughts and my productive obsessive thoughts. The negative thoughts just walk circles in my head, and nothing else happens…The productive obsessive thoughts push me into motion. They excite and energize me.
• Marissa: I was suprised that I could keep obsessing in spite of interruptions and day job busyness…I don’t have to lose it whenever life throws in a monkey wrench and then find it all over again.
• John: I am no longer rushing yet am getting infinitely more done.

I hope those statements (by formerly frustrated, blocked, anxious writers and artists) inspire you to look into creatively obsessing. Start by reading the author’s interview on the subject.

Does this subject intrigue you? Does it sound like something you’d also like to try for 30 days? Give it some thought!

July 26, 2010

Does your mind ever go ’round and ’round like it’s on some infernal hamster wheel? Mine does–and I waste so much time I could be writing. 

I try to stop because I assumed obsessing was a negative thing. It doesn’t have to be, though, not according to Eric Maisel in Brainstorm: Harnessing the Power of Productive Obsessions. Maisel is a psychotherapist who works with writers and artists, and author of another most helpful book, Fearless Creating.

The Life of Obsessing

First, does the writer below sound like you? (Frankly, Maisel could have been eavesdropping on my brain waves and transcribed my thoughts!) This is what one of his writer clients shared.

“I have always wanted to make a living as a writer. But I always let things hold me back. I let having a day job sidetrack me; I let fear sidetrack me. I procrastinate wildly; and yet the less I write, the unhappier I become with everything. I can’t let go of the desire to write, but I need to let go of the unproductive obsessing I do  about writing–the worry about not being good enough, the worry that I won’t be able to make a living, the worry that I won’t be able to think of anything wonderful to write about.”

And the result of all her obsessing?

“I get more and more stressed out, and I write less and less, and it becomes a particularly nasty downward spiral.”

Surprising Goal!

The author’s book isn’t about stopping the obsessions. In fact, Maisel encourages them! His idea is about harnessing all that brain power you’re using in a negative way and turning it into a positive brainstorm of ideas.

A productive obsession is an idea that you choose for good reasons and pursue with all your brain’s power. It might be an idea for a novel or the solution to a personal problem.

According to Maisel, the super focused productive obsession is the mind-set of the creative person. It sounds wonderful to me! I’ll be writing some more about this throughout the week, I think.

Tell Me I’m Not Alone

Do you have trouble focusing that prevents you from getting in the flow of your writing? Do you ever have the above-mentioned “hamster wheel-itis”? I sure hope I’m not the only one! Maybe we can find an answer to it together!

July 23, 2010

I talk a lot about having a positive attitude about the writing life, but your attitude isn’t everything.

There’s no doubt about the power of a positive outlook–I would be the first to say so. Dealing with your self-doubts and writing fears is critically important. However, don’t make the mistake of thinking it will substitute for other things.

At some workshops I gave last week, I met several new writers who had the most positive expectations about their future careers that I’d ever seen. I envied them actually! But then I probed a bit deeper and found something that may well derail those writers’ dreams.

What a Positive Attitude Can’t Do

• Having a hopeful and cheery  attitude about your writing won’t matter if you’re not competent at handling words and basic English grammar. You need those skills! If you don’t have them, acquire them.
• Are you actually writing and developing your craft? If you’re a fiction writer, are you working on character development, how to write believable dialogue, and plotting? If you write nonfiction, are you working on your research and querying skills? (And no, contrary to what you might hear, blogging or journaling doesn’t count because it rarely builds actual necessary skills other than the habit of daily writing.)
• Attitude won’t change the facts in your life. Fact: you have three children under the age of four and get little time to yourself. A positive attitude won’t change that. Instead, you must incorporate that fact into your writing plans. (Write in snippets of time. Write about your experiences for parenting magazines and e-zines.) Thinking positively that today you’ll have three hours alone to write is just a fantasy.
• A positive attitude won’t substitute for change. Time runs out after a while. There comes a time when you have to stop dreaming about the writing life you want to lead, complete with visualizations and an illustrated wish book. There comes a time to actually start living the writing life. (Keep an idea file. Join a critique group. Write daily or almost daily. Learn to do market study–even if you detest it.) Unless you take concrete steps to actually live the writer’s life, all the positive attitudes in the world won’t help.

Go One Step Further

Never stop having a positive attitude! It’s vital. But as writer and leadership expert John Maxwell says, “Attitude fills us with hope that we might reach our dreams. But hope apart from action falls flat.”

Definitely KEEP your attitude positive. I don’t mean to negate that in any way. But take definite steps to put a foundation under your attitude so that your dreams really do come true.

So…what is one small step you can take today to move your hopes to the next level?

[P.S. Forgive me for not getting to your comments this week until tonight. It's been one of those weeks! But I believe I've responded to them all now. Thanks for your patience!]

July 21, 2010

Even when life is going well, the writing pressures, the marketing, the waiting, and the deadlines can make you dream of taking a writing retreat.

For several years, I’ve had on my book shelf a “book in a box” called The Writer’s Retreat Kit: A Guide for Creative Exploration and Personal Expression by Judy Reeves. I’ve looked longingly at it several times and read some of her ideas of creating writer’s retreats lasting from twenty minutes to several days, depending on the time and money you have available.

Maybe Someday…

This time, though, I’m not going to sigh and put the book box back. I’m going to delve deeper into the retreat idea and try some of the experiences. I have no logical reason to feel as burned out as I do, but when I read the following opening page, I let out a big Ahhhhhh! I bet you will too.

Judy writes: Getting away: the wish and dream and fantasy of every writer I have ever known and, I expect, of nearly every writer I will ever meet, except for those rare and blessed souls who are lucky enough, or determined enough, or rich enough, to already be “away.”

What is “away”? It is someplace else. It is the place that each of us craves, and when we close our eyes, comes to us in all its wooded shadiness or vast, unending blueness. We visualize a mountain cabin; a cottage by the sea; a secret, hidden monastery; a wide-decked, win­dowed, pillowed, sweet-smelling, abundant, nurturing, solitary place where there are no “musts” or “have tos” or “shoulds.”

No dishes to do or phones to answer or children/mates/partners with whom we must interact. No set time to start or stop, to wake up or go to sleep. No television. No email. No deadlines. No place to drive to. It is sim­ply a place to be.

A writing retreat.

• renew
• refresh
• explore
• create
• refill
• retreat…to write

A Hidden Retreat

We may have the delight and privilege of going to a real retreat for writers. (I think of those lucky souls at the Chautauqua Writer’s Workshop in New York this week!) But what if you can’t get away like that, for whatever reason (cost, small children, health issues)?

Have you found a way to make your own writer’s retreat? Is it a corner of a room? A back porch swing? A pond in the city park? Hay loft in the barn?

We all need such a place. Could you share with us where you go when you need to retreat?

July 16, 2010

Want a super easy way to organize and remember things? Then discover the dozens of uses of sticky notes.

Their key advantage is in their ability to stick cleanly to files, papers, banners, phones, walls, doors, chairs, and books.

They come in all shapes and sizes–even smells! My personal favorites are Post-It notes in the shape of orange stars and my pink ones imprinted with a Louisa May Alcott quote: “She is too fond of books, and it has addled her brain.”

Uses for Sticky Notes

There are all kinds of paper sticky notes and free computerized sticky notes. [See the end of the blog post for unusual uses for computer sticky notes.] You can order paper notes online or buy them at WalMart or any office supply store. Some uses are obvious–but many will be new ideas to help you as a writer.

• Leave yourself message reminders (about writing and non-writing chores to do, when you have to leave for an appointment, when you have a phone call scheduled)
• Bookmark pages to find research, places to call in the phone book, and directions and names on your map.
• Make business tools. You can order sticky notes with pre-printed messages, your personal logo, or your business card info. Use them if you’re out to lunch (post on your front door or computer screen). Give these business tools as gifts.
• Map your day. Put sticky notes on a wall map showing where each errand or meeting  is located. Group them. After running that errand, remove the sticky note.

There is also a free sticky note software download for Windows.  With it, according to their website, you can do more than customize their look and then stick the note on your computer screen. You can also:

• send sticky notes over a local network
• send sticky notes over the Internet
• customize sticky notes any way you need
• edit and format sticky notes
• print sticky notes

Time Management Books

Using sticky notes is just one time management idea. For hundreds of other ideas, see my time management book list.

What is your most unusual use for a sticky note–either writing or non-writing-related?

July 9, 2010

Two of my daughters were in Italy this spring, and (knowing I was a fan of the movie “While You Were Sleeping”), they bought me a snow globe from Florence, Italy.

It sits on my writing desk, and when I’m mulling something over, I shake it up and watch it snow all over Florence Cathedral. Little did I know it would become a catalyst to help me settle down and write.

Get in Your Write Mind

The last post about Eric Maisel’s book, Write Mind, prompted some great responses. I was reading more of his book last night when I came across his comments on quieting your mind in order to work.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I have trouble settling down at my desk to work. My thoughts resemble corn popping. Should I work on this part of the revision or that? Should I do a bit more research on the setting or just get to the writing? Should I blog or am I just trying to avoid writing?

Settling Down…

As Maisel says, “When you shake up a snow globe, first the snow swirls chaotically, then it begins to settle nicely, and then all is quiet again.”

He contends that many of us use those “wrong mind” thoughts to stir ourselves up, the equivalent of shaking the snow globe. Our wrong negative thoughts create inner chaos and worry. We can’t sit still then and get to work.

He suggested using a snow globe (or just the image of one) to give yourself a visual way to picture the chaos, then the settling, and then the quiet. I tried it while repeating some of my own “write mind” positive comments. As the snow settled, so did my thoughts.

Make the Substitution

When you’re churning your mind (the snow globe shaking stage), you’re telling yourself things like “My mind is so noisy that I can’t think straight” and “I must be ADHD because my mind won’t focus more than thirty seconds” or “I’m a mental wreck, so how can I write?”

Instead, tell yourself that you can quiet your mind. You can focus. You can think just fine. Use the “Write Mind” thoughts in Maisel’s little book (choose from 299 of them!)  Or make up your own. (I personally use a lot of Scripture.)

There’s no need to continue to suffer from a chaotic mind. You might be all shook up right now, but sit tight–and watch your mind settle along with the snow. Take charge of your own thinking–it will change your life.

How about you? Do you have any visuals you use to settle down and get to work? I love hearing about other writers’ rituals to get started. Share if you have one that works for you!

July 5, 2010

Consider this quote from basketball great Michael Jordan: “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

His point? To be so successful, you have to be in the game a lot and willing to fail on the way to your successes. The same is true for writers.

Over and Over and Over

Do you want to be published by a traditional publisher? Then you need to write and submit consistently–and be willing to get rejected–in order to succeed. And not just once or twice or five times. You need to do this a lot.

Don’t misunderstand here. It’s not just a matter of doing something a large number of times. Even Michael Jordan didn’t just close his eyes, spin around, and throw the ball up in the air–and magically score hundreds of points. He:

• opened his eyes
• took careful aim at the basketball hoop
• listened to his coach
• practiced his form
• concentrated, and
• then threw the ball.

Sometimes he missed–but lots of times he scored. The one thing he didn’t do was quit along the way.

Writing Parallels Sports

In the same way, just writing and writing and writing, then submitting and submitting and submitting, won’t do the trick. It’s not just about the volume of words you write, although volume is important. (It does take practice to make perfect.)

If you want to build the career of your dreams, you must also: 

• study the markets
• take careful aim
• invite feedback from writing teachers and critique partners
• revise
• repeatedly practice whatever form of writing you do, and
• then submit.

Keep following this formula–keep on keepin’ on. The law of averages will catch up with you if you don’t quit.

What About You?

Writers struggle more with some parts of the process than others. Some can write and revise till kingdom come–but won’t submit. Others submit to editors willingly, but don’t take feedback and revise.

Which part of the above “formula” for success gives you the most trouble?

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