July 15, 2011

Wednesday’s blog entitled “Unhappiness: A Positive Sign” sparked more private email than usual! Glad it got you to thinking about this.

The tension you feel at the beginning of a project–that itch to “go for it!”–seems like a positive sign to me. So what is the “unhappy” part those authors were talking about in their book Seven Steps on the Writer’s Path? And, emailers asked me, why did I feel that tension after selling forty books?

Ignorance Was Bliss

During my student work for ICL, I told three of my class assignments. It was fun! I expected to sell them and kept submitting till I did. Thankfully, there was no Internet in those days, and I didn’t know any other writers who told me I couldn’t make a living at this.

I was naive, yes, but it helped! I just assumed that if I worked hard at the writing, I could have a paying career doing it. I saw setbacks and rejections as part of the process on the way to getting what I wanted. (And yes, it had to pay to make up for me not teaching anymore in the public schools.)

What’s Changed?

To answer one man’s email question, I think my excitement at the beginning is now tempered with reality. I’m not the naive writer I was at the beginning–and to be honest, I miss that phase at some points.

At this stage of my writing career, I realize that starting a new project IS exciting–but it brings other things along with the excitement:

• hard work, neck cramps, and back aches
• risks that may not pay off
• loneliness as I get closer to the deadline
• letting go of lunches, grandkid overnights, and other fun temporarily
• having the project misunderstood and/or criticized

But is this bad? NO!! It’s good to know this!

Now I have no surprises that derail me. I’m not shocked when I get bogged down in the middle. I’m not greatly disappointed by having to give up some social things so that I can get enough rest and write in the morning. I don’t expect everyone to be as excited by my idea as I am.

I know the harder aspects are just part and parcel of the writing life. You acknowledge them when they happen and move on. They’re no longer a big deal–and to me, that’s a very good thing.

June 22, 2011

If you’ve done the previous stages of exploration and preparation in “The Five Stages of Success,” then you’re probably eager to begin “Stage Three: Start-Up.”

Time to get the show on the road!

You have your writing dream, you’ve made the decision, and you’ve taken some steps to turn that dream into reality. I found “starting up” to be both the most exciting and the most frightening stage.

Deal With the Fears

Why should this stage–which is full of so much anticipation–be scary? Some of it has to do with money and security. By the time I hit this stage, we had another child and a need for more income. Writing for magazines wasn’t going to cut it–I wasn’t bringing in enough money.

I could go back to teaching elementary school–that had been the plan when the babies started arriving. There was pressure to do so–to “get a real job.” And some of that pressure was from me. It’s so much easier to rely on a steady paycheck than face freelance unknowns.

Leap of Faith

If money is an issue in your family, there is a mental mind shift you will need to make. As an employee, you receive a predictable paycheck from a company. If you want to be a freelance writer, you need to create your income. No money arrives on Friday just because you showed up at your desk and put in the time working. You have to create the opportunities to work, do the work, and sell the work to the publisher. This reality can be daunting.

On the other hand, as a freelance writer every day brings the possibility of new ideas, new choices, and earning potential beyond what you are probably imagining. I know that in later years I used to be in awe that I got paid well to do something I loved to do anyway (stay home and make up stories). It wouldn’t have happened if I’d gone back to teaching public school–not with raising kids and dealing with the health issues I had. Creativity takes some solitude and considerable energy–and there wouldn’t have been enough.

Biting the Bullet

Yes, when you start out, you feel like a newbie, the new kid on the block, wet behind the ears–all those cliches. And you may be living on a shoestring for a while. This is probably where your desire truly gets put to the test: how badly do you really want this writing life?

If you still want it, get on a writing schedule. Arrange what you can for an office. Get what equipment you can afford, and stock up on supplies. And take time to celebrate each successful step you take!

If you want the life of a writer, it’s time to get started. [And come back Friday for "Stage Four: Survival and Growth."']

January 5, 2011

I’ve been reading a book on how fear affects writing (and art-making of all kinds). Fear is what holds many (even most) of us back from being the writers we dream of being–and probably could be.

Art & Fear suggests that these fears fall into two main categories: (1) fears about yourself, and (2) fears of how others will receive your work.

The fears about yourself prevent you from doing your best work. Fears about your reception by others prevent you from doing your own work.

The Great Pretender  (or fears about self)

When you doubt your own abilities, you feel like a fake, an impostor. You feel like your best work was an accident, a happy fluke that you can’t seem to duplicate. It feels as if you’re going through the motions of being a writer–typing, reading how-to books and magazines, attending conferences–but you suspect that you don’t really know what you’re doing. (And we wrongly assume that all those other writers DO know what they’re doing.)

You also suspect you don’t have any real talent. After all, talented people perform their art with ease. Writers might start out that way, but inevitably you reach a point (if you’re truly working) where it definitely is NOT easy! You take that as a sign that you don’t really have enough talent to be a writer after all. (Truth: talent is a gift, and most people have enough talent. Probably 95% of success is what you do with it–and for writers, that means showing up at the page consistently.)

These fears WILL keep you from doing your best work.

Whose Priorities Count? (or fears about others)

The best writing is not produced by committee. It’s produced when a writer who is passionate about an idea is left alone to create. At these times we aren’t even thinking about others.

Problems arise when we confuse others’ priorities with our own. In our heads, we hear these critical voices. (Some come from our pasts, some from current writing friends, some from what we read in magazines and publishing journals.) Since published writers depend on reviews for sales, what others think has to matter at some point. However, when others’ opinions–how they think we should write–influences you too much and too soon in the process, you stop writing what you truly love and start writing what “they” have said is better or more salable.

Wanting to be understood is a basic need, and writers want others to understand their stories. They don’t want to be booed off the stage for being too different. (We all learned at an early age the dangers of being considered different or weird.) So the inner war continues with writers: can I find the courage to be true to what I need to write, or will I buckle to others’ opinions so I have a better chance of being received well? Buckling to fears of being misunderstood makes you dependent on your readers or audience.

These fears WILL keep you from doing your own work.

Ponder This…

This coming week, when you’re out scooping snow or taking a walk, give these two questions some thought:

What fears do you have about yourself that prevent you from doing your BEST work?

What fears about your reception by others prevents you from doing your OWN work?

And if you’re REALLY brave, leave a comment about one (or both). It will give me ideas for future topics!

December 27, 2010

Are you called? Do you feel that your writing–in whatever form–is a calling for you? Or does it feel more like a self-indulgence (especially if it’s not paying the bills or it takes time from your family)?

Over the years, my Institute students have asked how they could tell if they were really meant to write. I’ve struggled with this myself, vacillating between knowing it was what I was meant to do with my life and wondering if it was simply my escape. (Someone once told me that I wrote fiction because I couldn’t deal with real life. That didn’t help my dilemma!)

It’s an important question. There are only so many hours in the day–and so many years in your life. How can you know if writing is meant to be your life–or you should look elsewhere?

How Can You Know?

The other day I read something that was very helpful in sorting through this question. I wish I’d read it years ago. It was in a book of stories about writers called Behind the Stories by Diane Eble. See if this helps you decide:

Perhaps this is the hallmark of a calling: this sense that you are meant to do something, the restlessness that comes when you don’t do it, the deep satisfaction you feel when you do it–whatever “it” is. How do you find “it”? Ask yourself, “What is it I have loved doing, what has given me that sense of satisfaction? What would I do if I had two days to do whatever I wanted? What do I tend to gravitate toward and make time for? What do I feel passionate about? What have I always dreamed of doing? These questions may begin to uncover that thing you do, or would like to do, that is your gift and perhaps your calling.

Called to What?

If you answered “writing” to the questions above, you may still wonder what kind of writing is your calling. Try asking yourself the same questions again to find the kind of writing you’d enjoy the most.

What kind of writing gives you the most satisfaction? (Instructing mothers on how to enjoy motherhood? Telling bedtime stories to toddlers? Writing adult thrillers with a bit of romance?) What do you make time for? What do you gravitate toward in the library and bookstore? What do you love to read? (That’s always a good clue.)

How about you? Do you feel called to write–or is it a hobby that you can lay down for months at a time and not miss it? If it’s a calling, how does that decision impact how you live the rest of your life?

December 1, 2010

Even if you didn’t participate in this year’s November National Novel Writing Month, you can still have access to their NaNoWriMo pep talks that were sent throughout November to participants. Many of them are excellent!

Here’s what it says on their website: “We recruited an all-star team of authors to share their advice and thoughts on writing. Their pep talks will be emailed to participants throughout November. We hope their insight and encouragement help you on your way!”

Here you’ll find pep talks from some of the finest and best-selling writers of our time. Some are serious nuts-and-bolts advice talks while others are tongue-in-cheek funny. Either way, they’re an encouragement to those of us who are challenged on a regular basis with our writing.

Here are a few quotes to whet your appetite:

From Chris Baty: “Incite change. If your story is losing momentum, juice it up by inflicting some major changes on your characters. Crash the spaceship. End the marriage. Buy the monkey. Change is scary because we have to figure out what comes next. But feeling afraid is ten times better than feeling bored, and your book will benefit from your risk-taking. Go big this week! You won’t regret it.”

From Aimee Bender: “What we hold in our heads before we write is RARELY in sync with what shows up on the page, and if I were standing and saying this in front of you with a megaphone, I would say this next part especially loud and clear: The Page is All We Get. What shows up on the page? Well, that is your writing. The full-blown perfectly-whole concept you may have in your head? Is just thought.”

From Holly Black: “Here are some things I wish someone had told me when I was writing my first book. I want to say them to you in the hopes they will help and encourage you. Even if you’ve heard them before, it doesn’t hurt to be reminded.” And then she follows this with seven tips that are right on the money.

From Lindsey Grant: “You’ve been carrying around a story for a while now and you finally started writing it. Getting started is hard enough, but then you went on to write for a full week, bringing your story to life and making your noveling dream a reality. You’re well on your way, writer, and you have come so far already! Don’t let your inner editor convince you that this isn’t worth your time, or that you should start over, or-even worse-that you should start over some other time. For this novel there is no “later.” There is only now.”

From John Green: “All of us harbor secret hopes that a magnificent novel will tumble out of the sky and appear on our screens, but almost universally, writing is hard, slow, and totally unglamorous.”

From Mercedes Lackey: “I can’t think of anything more intimidating than a blank page. Especially the first blank page of a new project. Now, after twenty-mumble years of writing, I have a lot of things to get me past that…”

From Lemony Snicket: “Struggling with your novel? Paralyzed by the fear that it’s nowhere near good enough? Feeling caught in a trap of your own devising? You should probably give up.” Very funny letter follows!

So if you’re feeling sluggish and need some writing pep, check out these terrific pep talks. It just may be the jumpstart you need!

November 15, 2010

Do you ever wonder if you’re a REAL writer? If you have doubts, it might be because you have a bad case of the “shoulds.”

Symptoms of the “shoulds” include:

• You should write first thing in the morning.
• You should write daily.
• You should keep a journal.
• You should write down your dreams every morning.
• You should have a room of your own and be organized!
• You should write for publication.

What if some of the “shoulds” just go against your grain? Are you not a real writer then? What if you write best after 10 p.m. instead of first thing in the morning? What if you start journals repeatedly and never last more than three days? What if you can’t remember your dreams? What if an organized office makes you freeze and you secretly prefer writing in chaos?

Are you a REAL writer then? YES!

What Am I Exactly?

If you struggle with your identity as a writer–if you don’t seem to fit the mold no matter how you’ve tried–you would love the book I found over the weekend. It’s called The Write Type: Discover Your True Writer’s Identity and Create a Customized Writing Plan by Karen E. Peterson, who wrote the best book on writer’s block I ever read.

This book takes you through exercises to find the real writer who lives inside you. You’ll explore the ten components that make up a writer’s “type.” They include such things as tolerance for solitude, best time of day to write, amount of time, need for variety, level of energy, and level of commitment. Finding your own personal combination of traits helps you build a writer’s life where you can be your most productive and creative.

Free to Be Me

To be honest, the exercises with switching hands (right brain/left brain) didn’t help me as much as the discussions about each trait. I could usually identify my inner preferences quite easily through the discussion. It gave me freedom to be myself as a writer. It also helped me pinpoint a few areas where I believed some “shoulds” that didn’t work for me, where I was trying to force this square peg writer into a round hole and could stop!

We’re all different–no surprise!–but we published writers are sometimes too quick to pass along our own personal experience in the form of “shoulds.” You should write first thing in the morning should actually be stated, It works well for ME to write first thing in the morning, so you might try that.

What About You?

Have you come up against traits of “real writers” that just don’t seem to fit you? Do you like to flit from one unfinished project to another instead of sticking to one story until it’s finished and submitted? Do you need noise around you and get the heebie jeebies when it’s too quiet?

If you have time, leave a comment concerning one or two areas where you have struggled in the past with a “real writer” trait. Let’s set ourselves free from the tyranny of the shoulds!

November 8, 2010

Writing students, those I critique, and people in my writing workshops will sometimes question whether it is ethical to encourage fledgling writers.

 

Why?

 

Because the path to publication isn’t easy, and they will experience a lot of rejection along the way, and the “odds” are stacked against them. That’s all true. So why encourage new writers to persevere?

I do it because they all honestly have a chance. Of course, some students turn out to be sprinters only. They write a bit, give it their all, get tired, and quit. Some, though, turn out to be marathon runners, in it for the long haul. They experience the pain of rejection and the exhaustion of the uphill climb as well–but they don’t quit. That is often the deciding factor.

Separating the Men from the Boys

Can writing teachers and workshop leaders predict who will eventually cross the finish line? I used to think so, but experience has taught me otherwise.

I am saddened by the talented writers who quit easily. I am even more often encouraged by the medium-talented writers who hang in there and get published. And even though students ask, I can’t predict, based on someone’s early writing, if they have that necessary stick-to-it-iveness to succeed in the writing life. Mostly it’s a character issue–not a talent issue.

False Encouragement?

As Ralph Keys says in The Writer’s Book of Hope: Getting from Frustration to Publication, I try to encourage all new writers, but that is not the same as praising mediocre work.

Those of you who have been my students or have paid for a critique know that I critique thoroughly. But you can give tough critiques–showing ways to improve the work–without being discouraging. You give “honest reassurance,” says John Gardner in On Becoming a Novelist.

The Biggest Hurdle

The major difference I see between those who quit and those who are persistent is their “acceptance of rejection.” That may sound like a contradiction of terms, but it’s critical to your survival as a writer.

Accept the fact that you’ll get rejected. Often. All during your writing career. I’ve sold 35 books at this point, but I still get rejections. Rejected proposals, rejected books, rejections from people I’ve sold to before. It happens to all published writers. It’s part of the writing life AND IT’S NOT PERSONAL.

In Unstoppable Women: Achieve Any Breakthrough Goal in 30 Days, Cynthia Kersey talks about this rejection. (And it doesn’t just happen to writers.) She says, “Rejection comes with the territory when we’re selling anything, whether it’s a project, a product, an idea, or ourselves. Everyone isn’t going to ‘get it’ or be interested in what we’re offering. So what! When we accept that ‘no’ is a natural part of the process, we can easily move past each rejection until someone does say yes.”

Your Decision

Marathoner or sprinter–which one are you? Do your writing habits support your choice? If not, what changes do you need to make in your training in order to carry your writing over the finish line? Make a list–and make one tiny change today. 

 

 

August 25, 2010

Because pessimism measures (in part) your ability to keep going and not quit in the face of unpleasant or disappointing circumstances, I didn’t expect the book Learned Optimism to have much to say to me.

My whole life has been about not quitting in the face of severe physical problems, depressing family life issues, and major publishing downturns. It’s been about taking responsibility, learning from things, and moving on.

“I’m no quitter” is as much a part of me as my hair color (under the Preference by L’Oreal) and my brown eyes. Yes, I sometimes took on too much. Yes, my health wasn’t always the best. But I always pressed on even if things looked hopeless.

That should earn me a high score on the book’s lengthy optimism test, right?

Um…no.

This Can’t Be Right!

I was shocked. I called my best friend who had read the book and asked what her score was. She got a 9–meaning very high optimism. I’m not surprised. She’s a great encourager.

I got a 0. (Oh, I got +14 on some good stuff, but a -14 on the bad stuff, effectively cancelling out the positives.) The test and research are based on what author Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D. calls your “explanatory style.” It’s how you perceive the reasons behind the good things and bad things that happen to you-and your assumptions about the future.

It’s BIG

According to Seligman, “It matters a great deal if your explanatory style is pessimistic. If you scored poorly, there are four areas where you will encounter (and probably already have encountered) trouble.”

He mentioned that you’ll (1) get depressed more easily, (2) achieve less at your career than your talent warrants [listen, writers!], (3) have poorer physical health and an immune system not as good as it should be, and (4) life won’t be as pleasurable as it should be.

The author assures me that there are many ways to change your thinking in all these areas of your life. Evidently my “explanatory style” needs a major revamping. I’m looking forward to the rest of the book. It’s very research-heavy in the first half, so I may skip to the chapters on “how to fix it.”

Expect to hear more about this in future weeks! In this time of publishing upheaval and downturns, might you benefit from some “learned optimism” yourself?

August 20, 2010

If a friend from your critique group told you ”I just can’t get started on my story today,” what would you say? “Get moving, you lazy do-nothing wannabe!” I hope not!

If your writing friend bemoans receiving another rejection, do you say, “Well, what did you expect? Your novel stinks!”?

I would hope not. Most of us are better friends than that…except to ourselves.

Your Own Best Friend

Listen to how you talk to yourself. When you procrastinate, do you beat yourself up? Do you call yourself names? And to paraphrase Dr. Phil, “How’s that working for you?” Does it spur you on to do your best writing–or to give up and eat a pint of ice cream?

When you receive a rejection, do you downgrade your writing? Do you tell yourself that publishing is just a pipe dream, that it’s for others but not for you?

Do you say things to yourself that you would NEVER say to a writer friend?

Time to STOP!

Learn to tell yourself the truth–but with kindness. Be a mirror that reflects back understanding. If you got off course, gently encourage yourself back on the writing path you want to travel.

Not:

• You’re so lazy that you’ll never get anything written and published.
• No editor or agent will ever read your novel, much less publish it!
• You only have friends on Facebook because they don’t really know you.

Say this instead:

• You may have trouble getting started because you’re afraid of something. Try journaling to get to the bottom of it.
• You may (or may not) find an editor who loves your novel–but you’ll never know if you don’t keep sending it out. Let’s try one more time.
• Many people in your real life know you and love you. Make a list. Be thankful for each person on the list.

Be That Good Friend

The next time you stall or hit a rough spot in your work, talk to yourself like a true friend would. Be kind, be understanding, give some praise, and encourage yourself to try again.

You can be your own best friend.

August 18, 2010

“Some days, even the best dentist doesn’t feel like being a dentist,” says Seth Godin on his blog. “And a lifeguard might not feel like being a lifeguard. Fortunately, they have appointments, commitments and jobs. They have to show up. They have to start doing the work.”

The result?

“Most of the time, this jump start is sufficient to get them over the hump, and then they go back to being in the zone and doing their best work.”

But…What About Writers?

If we work at home, we don’t have to keep strict office hours. No one will know–or the little ones underfoot won’t care–if we keep that “appointment” with our novel or article or lesson. No one will fire us if we don’t show up and do our writing.

It’s not that writers can’t have the momentum of the dentist or lifeguard. It’s just that no outside boss is going to help you get going, get over the hump, and build that momentum. You will have to do it yourself.

You must be a self-starter. (Gulp.) That’s the truth.

Help Is on the Way

There are terrific motivational books for writers. I’ve blogged about many of them. You can also re-read some blog entries on getting started or entries on the psychology of writing. These will often be enough to prime the pump and get you to the computer or legal pad.

Getting started and building your own writing momentum is a struggle for ALL writers. That’s why ten chapters in my Writer’s First Aid book are devoted to getting started and ten more on work habits that work for you. (Here you’ll find four sample chapters.)

What about you? What is one technique or ritual you use that gets you started writing?

[NOTE: see Nancy's comment below--great idea!]

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