March 12, 2010

If you answered the list of questions Wednesday about “Where’s My Time Go?”, you may see now that other people’s expectations have taken over your writing time. It’s a common occurrence.

Once you’ve completed your commitments, you need a way to avoid becoming trapped again.

Time-Saving Policies

After you’ve spotted some of your weakest areas, develop policies to cover future requests. For some reason, stating that you have a “policy” about certain things carries more weight with people. Target the areas where you have the most trouble setting boundaries. Some “company policies” might include:

*I have a policy about home business parties. I don’t attend them, and I don’t give them.
*I have a policy that includes no drop-in baby-sitting. I need a minimum of 48 hours notice.
*My policy states that I don’t commit to any event more than (X) months away. (Fill in your personal limit.)
*I choose to help with one party each year at my child’s school. That’s my class contribution, so what party would you like me to help with?
*My policy states that I charge $5 for each ten minutes that parents are late picking up their kids from my day care.

Under-Promise

Sometimes our commitments get out of hand because we want to do such an excellent job everywhere. So learn to under-promise, and later you can over-deliver if you have extra time.

For example, instead of volunteering to help at school the entire day, say you can come and read for one hour. If it turns out that you have extra time when the day rolls around, you can use the time to write or you can “over-deliver” on your promise and stay two hours. You’ll earn a reputation as someone who delivers even more than promised—and yet you’ll have saved time for yourself.

Time Credit Cards

Some of us (I’m guilty!) promise to do things months and months in advance when our calendars are still pristine white. Then six months later, when the event rolls around, our calendars are more jammed than we had anticipated; we regret that we ever agreed to that event or favor.

Too often we commit future time that we believe we’ll have, only to be caught up short later (like a credit card junkie who charges now and is just sure he’ll have the cash to pay it off later.)

Stop charging your time ahead! Cut up your time credit cards. Pay off whatever “time debt” you’ve accumulated at this point, but don’t charge anymore.

If people want you to commit to some volunteer thing more than a month away, simply say, “I don’t commit to things so far ahead. If you want to call me back in (X) months, I will be able to give you an answer then.” At that point, you’ll have a realistic idea of what your month’s schedule looks like.

If you are pressed for an answer (”I need to know now!”), then regretfully tell people that the answer will have to be “no.” (Given that choice, people will wait.)

E-mail and Web Surfing

Limit your Internet time to two periods per day, before and after your work day. Keep it short. Answer crucial e-mail, but skip all the forwarded jokes and poignant stories till later. Unsubscribe from all but the best two or three e-newsletters you receive. Delete the junk without reading it and then close down. According to current workplace statistics, conquering e-mail/surfing addiction can save you a full two or three hours per day.

Assignment: Where is your time going? Do you know? Keep track for a few weeks and be sure. Then begin to implement whatever policies you need in order to safeguard your time.

Write your company policies down and review them daily. As you use these policies, they will become second nature. Just remember that nature abhors a vacuum. Be ready to fill your new-found time with activities that can further your writing career.

February 26, 2010

Some days I feel about as creative as a cement block. Most of us know, however, that we can’t wait to feel creative before we write.

Writers who wait for inspiration before they decide to write are generally known as hobbyists. Working writers-those actively writing and growing in their craft-must write whether the muse is “in” or not.

“Which means, essentially,” James Scott Bell says, “you have to become a walking idea factory.” And he really does mean walking. He said he gets a lot of his ideas for his current work-in-progress when walking. I know other writers who’ve said the same thing.

Dragging My Heels

I love to walk-but I have usually balked at this kind of “work while you walk” advice. After working at my desk, I want a break. And mulling over my novel while taking a walk doesn’t do a darned thing to refresh me. My brain is too tired. When I walk, I want to listen to a book on tape, something Jane Austen-y that I know will feed my soul. Thinking about my own novel just feels like more work to me.

But…that’s not what Bell recommends! In his The Art of War for Writers, he says that after a writing session, “I try to take an hour walk every day and listen to an audio book.” Inevitably his muse or imagination (what he calls “the boys in the basement”) sends up ideas for his work-in-progress while he’s listening to his audio book for relaxation. When that happens, he stops, makes a note in the pocket notebook he carries, then goes back to his audio book and walks some more.

He calls this his system for “being creative without thinking about it. That way you can be ‘working’ on your idea even when you’re not working on it.”

Then What?

For several days I tried Bell’s system. I hadn’t expected it to work-but it did! While walking and listening to Pride and Prejudice on my MP3 player, my brain released a good number of ideas-things that I could later develop (a secondary character’s flaw, a plot twist that would also show the book’s theme, a better setting for the climax scene). I have to admit that I was very surprised how well this worked.

If you want to try it, here are Bell’s steps for becoming a walking idea factory.

• Focus fully on your book or story idea during your writing time.
• Take a walk and relax, then capture the ideas that pop up during your walk.
• Back home, immediately put your recorded bits in a computer file. Expand on them, brainstorm the ideas, follow rabbit trails. Do that with each idea that popped up on your walk.
• Let the ideas cool for a day and then come back to them for assessment.
• Decide which ideas to keep and use in your current work. Set the others aside for another project.

Bell says if you get used to thinking this way, your creativity will explode!

February 24, 2010

As mentioned a few weeks ago, I’ve been reading Andy Stanley’s The Principle of the Path which states that it’s direction-not intention-that determines our destination.

When trying to get from where we are as writers to where we’d like to be, we will need to follow a path to that publishing destination. We are travelers, and we look for maps to guide us. We read books and articles on how to get started, get published, and market ourselves.

This guidance becomes our road map, our GPS system for success. Despite hundreds of maps (i.e. books of advice), few writers are as successfully published as they’d like to be.

What’s The Problem?

Is it because we can’t read a map? Usually not. Is it because we don’t really know where we want to end up? Usually not. Then what’s missing?

The starting point.

No matter what type of map you use (Google map, MapQuest, GPS or the old-fashioned paper kind), you first have to know where you are right now. Knowing your destination won’t help one iota if you don’t know your present location.

And why don’t we writers know where we are at this moment? Are we lost? Not really. More like deluded. We deceive ourselves about our true locations at the present time. And that’s one big reason why our “maps” don’t work and don’t get us to our destinations.

Wearing Blinders

Not long ago, I asked a teacher-writer about this. (He’s taught writing at the university level for twenty years.) His classes focus on both writing and publishing your writing. He said one of the biggest problems he ran into was that his students who hoped to publish had no grasp of their current skill level. Most of them believed they were better writers than they were.

They’d been told all through high school that their writing was fabulous, but now they were competing with the cream of the cream in college. They did surface revisions, unwilling to start over or dig deeper. They were used to posting to their blogs (instant gratification in publishing.) After only one rejection by a print publisher, they often hurried to self-publish instead. Many of them felt ready for Carnegie Hall, but they’d only mastered Chopsticks.

Delusions

Whatever their reasons-whatever our reasons-many writers do not have a clear grasp of where they are right now. They see the golden crowns of success in the future: bestseller lists, big royalty checks, crowded book signings. They’re studying several maps: MFA programs, online programs, quitting their day jobs to write for a year. But they’re deceiving themselves about their starting point.

Some of us need basic courses in grammar and punctuation more than an MFA program. Some of us need to keep our day jobs while writing furiously every lunch hour and all day Saturday for a year. Some of us need to study other successful writers’ published books more than we need to meet an agent at the next expensive writer’s conference.

If you want to reach your writing dreams, you do need to know your hoped-for destination. If you don’t want to waste years and years re-inventing the wheel, you’ll need to find out how other writers were successful and check out their “maps.” But if you don’t know your starting point-if you’re not willing to be very honest with yourself about where you are today-those maps and goals won’t do you any good.

Where Am I Today?

So take some time this week and, with pen and paper, ask yourself the tough questions. Where are you in the skill areas you need? Where are you an expert, but where are you still a beginner? What parts of the writing life stymie you?  How much time per day/week do you really have-or can you carve out-for a writing life? How’s your health, your stamina?

Answers to these questions-honest answers instead of “I wish” answers-are what will be valuable to you. It will be your true starting point. Knowing this will help you choose a map that will actually take you from where you are and point you to your destination: your writing dreams.

February 15, 2010

I spent much of last week sick in bed, but it gave me a chance to read more than usual. I got a couple of “aha!” moments from the book I was reading (Who Switched Off My Brain?) mentioned last week.

The book deals with what the author calls “the Dirty Dozen” areas in our lives where we create our own problems, often by well-meaning efforts. This toxic behavior can derail our purpose in life and steal our dreams–including our writing dreams.

Two of the dirty dozen that hit me between the eyes was “toxic seriousness” and “toxic schedules.” And I knew that I’d stumbled across two of the reasons I was sick instead of fighting off common viruses.

AHA! #1

I’ve known for years that negative emotions like anger and unforgiveness can literally make you physically sick. But did you know that an absence of fun in your life can make you sick too?

Laughter IS the Best medicine!

For a lot of reasons, I grew up with the firmly entrenched idea that “life is a serious matter.” People who didn’t take life seriously annoyed me. I thought they simply didn’t understand the situation!

Well sometimes life is no laughing matter, but you still need to incorporate more fun in your life. [I finally understood why I felt so much better physically after spending time with my grandkids, despite being tired. I laugh a lot more on those days!]

Did you know this? Studies show that “a really good belly laugh can make cortisol drop by 39% and adrenalin by 70%, while the ‘feel-good hormone,’ endorphin, increases by 29%…Laughter boosts your immune system by increasing immunity levels and disease-figthing cells.”

Another medical study showed that humor gets both sides of your brain working together, which is so necessary to writers. We need to be both creative and editor-minded (left-brained and right-brained) in order to do our best writing.

So take time to bring fun into your life today–and every day. Look for the humor in situations–or even yourself. Watch a funny video. Read something that tickles your funny bone. Tell a joke!

AHA! #2

In my case, I realized over the weekend that my “toxic seriousness” went hand-in-hand with what the author called “toxic schedules.” One had a direct impact on the other. My overly serious attitude about life leads to an over-scheduled week that doesn’t work unless I invent a 48-hour day. And, of course, a packed schedule adds pressure and just reinforces an overly serious attitude.

Current brain research shows that there’s a lot more at risk than just being tired when you over-schedule yourself. Of particular interest to writers, without sufficient relaxation in your lifestyle, “you will become a less effective thinker, defeating your ability to accomplish the mental tasks that stole our relaxation in the first place. In fact, for the brain to function like it should, it needs regroup/consolidation time. If it doesn’t get this, it will send out signals in the form of high-level stress hormones, some of which are epinephrine, norepinephine and cortisol. If these chemicals constantly flow, they create a ‘white noise’ that increases anxiety and blocks clear thinking and the processing of information.”

To put it another way, relaxation is NOT a waste of your time. You’re doing your brain–and all of your writing processes–a big favor.

Live–and LEARN

So how did that impact my weekend? I spent Saturday with my grandkids (ages 4 and 7), guaranteed to produce the belly laughs I needed. And I took off Sunday with my husband to visit some family, go to a movie, window shop a bit, and eat out. I slept like a rock last night and feel like a million bucks today.

And now to make this a guilt-free habit!

February 10, 2010

According to the National Science Foundation, the average person has about 12,000 thoughts per day, or 4.4 million thoughts per year.

I wager that writers are well above the average because we read more and writing causes us to think more than the average.

Who’s In Charge?

I had known for a long time that our thoughts affect our emotions, and that toxic “stinking thinking” could derail our writing dreams and health faster than almost anything. You are the only one who can decide whether to reject or accept a thought, which thoughts to dwell on, and which thoughts will become actions.

But sometimes–a lot of the time–I felt powerless to actually do anything about it on a consistent basis. Sometimes I simply felt unfocused and overwhelmed.

Need a Brain Detox?

I’ve been reading a “scientific brain studies” book for non-science types like me called Who Switched Off My Brain? by Dr. Caroline Leaf Ph.D. which has fascinated me. With scientific studies to back it up, it shows that thoughts are measurable and actually occupy mental “real estate.” Thoughts are active; they grow and change, influencing every decision we make and physical reaction we have.

“Every time you have a thought, it is actively changing your brain and your body–for better or for worse.” The author talks about the “Dirty Dozen”–which can be as harmful as poison in our minds and our bodies.

Killing Our Creativity

Among this dozen deadly areas of toxic thinking are toxic emotions, toxic words, toxic seriousness, toxic health, and toxic schedules.

If you want to delve into the 350+ scientific references and pages of end notes in the back of the book, you can look up the studies. But basically it targets the twelve toxic areas of our lives that produce 80% of the physical, emotional and mental health issues today. And trust me. Those issues have a great deal to do with you achieving your goals and dreams.

There Is Hope!

According to Dr. Leaf, scientists no longer believe that the brain is hardwired from birth with a fixed destiny to wear out with age, a fate predetermined by our genes. Instead there is scientific proof now for what the Bible has always taught: you can renew your minds and heal. Your brain really can change!

Old brain patterns can be altered, and new patterns can be implemented. In the coming days, I’ll share some more about the author’s ”Brain Sweep” five-step strategy for detoxing your thoughts associated with the “dirty dozen.”

But right now I’m going to read about the symptoms of a toxic schedule. I have a suspicion…

February 5, 2010

Even the most dedicated writers need a break sometimes. The brain gives out (often on Fridays), or the back and neck scream for relief. Sure, you can always read more email or surf the web or watch a re-run.

On the other hand, says Arthur Plotnik in a February, 2010 article in The Writer, “Take a productive break from writing.”

His definition of such a productive break includes “activities that can bolster my writing even as they give respite from its grind…A boost [to my writing] in quality or quantity is my criterion for ‘positive’ avoidances.”

Good for Your Writing

Time-wasting breaks produce guilt for not writing, leaving us feeling disgruntled at the end of the day. On the other hand, a break taken to bolster our writing skills is both refreshing and growth-producing. And guilt free!

Read Plotnik’s entire article for many more unusual ideas. (He’s the author of Spunk & Bite: A Writer’s Guide to Bold, Contemporary Style and is on The Writer’s editorial board.) Here are just a few of his suggestions to whet your appetite for the next time you just have to get away from your desk:

• Talk a walk in your neighborhood as if seeing it for the first time. In your pocket notebook, jot down images and sensory perceptions and things you overhear and character descriptions.
• Visit a botanical garden, aquarium, museum, zoo, etc. where things are displayed and labeled. Collect metaphors based on the things you see, such as “a roommate like a stinkhorn fungus.” (Plotnick)
• Wander through your local library’s exhibits, and look through community bulletin boards and local history collections for ideas.
• Watch a “dopey adolescent sitcom” to update one’s YA-dialogue skills.
• Play an instrument or do a drawing.
• Build your inventory of character names from a directory.
• Spend time with someone in an interesting occupation, absorbing the details of a job one of your characters might perform.

Or do like me-and catch up on reading inspiring magazines like The Writer!

February 3, 2010

Don’t you love when you learn things from your own kids? My daughter teaches special needs children, and she shared with me a technique she used successfully that I am adopting for myself.

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you know I’ve written about taking steps to increase my energy this year. I wanted to write and study more, yet keep up with my other personal commitments. In the Simple•ology 103 course on energy, there’s a pyramid showing five ways to increase energy and the order in which to do each thing to both (1)  increase your energy and (2) stop your energy drains.

Your Biggest Drain

The base of the pyramid-the biggest part of increasing your energy-is to “decrease distress.” Distress comes in all forms (poor eating, chronic pain, families), but a recently published book on achieving goals said that nearly 80% of the distress that robs our energy is relationship stress in some form. Looking back over my life, I would have to agree. For me today, relationship stress usually means saying things that would be (for many reasons) better left unsaid.

Now, I have come a long ways. This week alone I know I conserved my energy at least three times when I held my tongue. I’m learning that nothing is worth an argument at bedtime-a huge peace stealer and sleep stealer and energy stealer! But another time, I pushed an issue that clearly wasn’t going to be resolved to my satisfaction, resulting in about 72 hours of distress to me and my sleep. Those writing days were a drag, complete with sleepiness and headaches.

Worth it? Not in the slightest.

Simple, Yet Profound

Back to my teacher daughter then… she was sharing how one of her older boys at school had a syndrome that made him too outspoken and caused him to be shunned by his classmates. Thoughts running through his head just as quickly came out his mouth. (I could identify.)

Through using cartoons, she showed the student the difference between what needs to stay inside him (indicated by a dotted line thought bubble) and what should be verbally expressed (shown as the cartoon character’s solid line mouth bubble.) They role played several situations using the thought/mouth bubbles, helping him determine which thoughts belonged where. Using that technique he was able to be much more successful in his classroom and in his relationships.

I bet you know where I’m going with this.

Stop and Think

I have to turn everything into a goal, so my goal in February (in order to conserve my writing energy, remember) is this: before opening my mouth, I will ask myself, “Does this belong in my thought bubble or my mouth bubble?” For most comments that would cause strife, it usually belongs permanently in the thought bubble. (For those of you who keep everything in thought bubbles, you probably need to confront more, but that’s another topic.)

If 80% of your distress comes from relationship stress-and is robbing you of precious writing energy-work hard to be at peace with everyone, as much as it depends on you. Your health-and your writing-will benefit immeasurably!

February 1, 2010

When it comes to your writing, do you ever have a crisis of confidence?

It can come from a number of things: destructive (instead of constructive) criticism in your critique group, months and years of rejections (from editors and/or agents), poor reviews or sales when you finally get published, and put-downs from family or friends about your “little hobby.” 

My writing friend, Sherryl, has been sending me her notes on a new goals book she’s reading, and one line in particular struck me this week. It said, “Courage and confidence come from knowledge and skills-the more you develop knowledge and skills, the more courage and confidence you’ll have.” I mulled that over, applying it to my writing, and realized that was exactly what had happened to me in January as a side benefit to working harder.

 Buckling Down

Some months back I talked about a self-study writing program that my friend and I had designed and embarked on because we didn’t have the funds to enroll in any of the MFA programs. The study time included a lot more writing and critiquing, plus analyzing middle grade novels (mostly Newbery books), plus studying writing craft books. In January I created an Excel spreadsheet to track my hours in each category, using my trusty kitchen timer. I only counted the actual hours spent writing or studying. (I did not count any hours spent blogging or teaching or at my critique group.)

I didn’t meet my goal of 25 study hours per week. In fact, I only logged 65.5 hours total toward my monthly goal instead of 100 hours. (This was the amount of time that a large number of MFA graduates told me they spent studying when in the Vermont MFA program.) While I didn’t meet my January goal, I was very pleased to have added a significant number of hours of work.

Results

My critique group commented that my writing improved a lot during the month. In addition, at the end of the month, I finally took five hours to research some publishers for a finished book manuscript sitting on my desk for the last six months. Suddenly, after a month of solidly working on increasing my knowledge and my skills, I felt like doing it. Like Sherryl’s quote, I finally had the “courage and confidence” necessary to submit the manuscript.

Over two years ago, I was privileged to attend Jane Yolen’s master novel writing retreat. I still remember her words to us after she’d read and critiqued our manuscripts. She looked around the circle of a dozen writers and said, “Some of you in here are better writers than I am.” She paused while we choked, then added, “But I can guarantee you that none of you write as much as I do.”

At the time, I thought she was telling us that she was much published because she wrote a lot of hours every week. Made sense! Now I wonder if she was actually telling us that writing so many hours was what had honed her skills and knowledge of the language and gave her the courage and confidence to keep submitting things.

Don’t Major on the Minors

The point of all this rambling? If you lack courage and confidence about your writing, I’m beginning to think that the best thing you can do for that is to just write more. A lot more. And study to improve your skills. Sometimes I think we spend too much time analyzing our fears as a way to bolster our courage.

Maybe-just maybe-the problem would take care of itself if we just planted our seats in our seats and wrote more.

January 29, 2010

If you’re a plumber hired to unclog my drain, but I catch you sitting and looking out the window, I can, in all fairness, say you’re not working. If you’re my cleaning lady, but I catch you rocking in a chair staring into space, I can say justly that you’re not working.

What about writers? Not so easy to tell!

Thinking vs. Writing

According to Wallace Stevens, “It is not always easy to tell the difference between thinking and looking out the window.” It’s also not always easy to tell the difference between thinking and going for a walk, between thinking and washing dishes, between thinking and daydreaming, and between thinking and grazing in the fridge.

Why is this true? Lots of thinking precedes writing. For fiction writers, thinking about characters, getting to know them, listening to their voices-all this happens in the head while “thinking.” Plot twists and turns give birth while “thinking”-and woe unto the writer who skips thinking and writes the first thing that comes into her head.

Although all this pre-thinking is critical, that isn’t all the thinking you’ll have to do. Even while working on revisions, you’ll find yourself thinking and staring out the window, thinking and walking, thinking and grazing. You understand that “I’m thinking” means ”so please don’t interrupt.” Chances are, your family won’t. Instead they will walk into the room where you’re “thinking-writing” and say, “Oh good, you’re not doing anything. Can you hold the ladder for me?”

Thinking in Disguise

That’s why I prefer to do my thinking in private if I can. Otherwise it just seems to invite interruptions, often at a critical moment when I’ve just about figured out my theme or where the climax scene needs to go.

If I’m home alone, that’s no problem. If it’s in the evening, though, or on a weekend, I weed flowers or fold a load of laundry or wash dishes when I need to think something through. (Nobody bothers you when doing chores-they might get roped into helping.)

Reap the Rewards

Contrary to the life of a plumber or housekeeper, a lot of the writer’s real work happens when she’s looking out the window. Sometimes my clearest thoughts, my best insights for how to fix things, come when I’m not thinking about the piece of writing at all.

Give yourself enough of this “mindless” time, and you’ll be amazed what bubbles up to your conscious mind. Despite the heckling you may receive, during this thinking time you’re a writer at work. And the pay-off will be huge.

January 27, 2010

All of our actions have results, or consequences. That’s not news to anyone. And yet, do we act like we believe that?

Not all that often.

Too many writers (myself included sometimes) believe that if we work our hardest and try our best and keep a good attitude, we’ll end up successfully published. Why? Because we have good intentions. But it’s “direction-not intention-that determines our destination,” says Andy Stanley in his new book The Principle of the Path.

Here’s a simple illustration. You may intend to be a great archer. However, if you work hard, shoot arrow after arrow, and lift weights to have stronger biceps-but don’t pay attention to direction-shooting arrows is a waste of your time. Oh, you might luck out and hit your target once in a blue moon, but that’s about it. Sadly, many writers approach their careers like this.

Good Intentions-No Direction

In every part of your life (health, relationships, writing career) you’re moving in some direction toward a specific destination. We don’t end up at that destination out of luck or sheer hard work or good intentions or because “it all worked out somehow.” Destination is the end result of the choices you made yesterday, added to the ones you make today, added to the ones you make tomorrow.

There are paths we choose that lead us to destinations we never intended, and there are paths we’re on right now that are leading us away from-not toward-our dreams and goals. If we’re headed in the wrong direction, no matter how good our intentions or how hard we work, we won’t reach our goal.

Personally Speaking

It’s the decisions you make on a daily basis that determine your path and your destination. For example, for many reasons I want to be super-healthy the older I get. I want it more than most other things because it affects all areas of my life. I know a lot about nutrition and exercise and weight loss and what my body needs to run its best. A healthy body is my intention and has been for years.

BUT the daily decisions I made last year to eat candy instead of the hated vegetables, to watch a movie instead of go running, and skip the weights work-outs have NOT led me to great health in 2010. My path led to higher cholesterol, higher blood pressure, much less stamina, and more headaches. (I bet you can guess what my goals are this year!)

Writerly Direction Needed Too

I see writers doing the same thing. They’ve got their goals written down, they’ve set deadlines for themselves, they’re determined to finish that novel and submit it, and ultimately they want to be published. They knock themselves out to create websites, network on Facebook and LinkedIn and writer chat rooms, write newsletters and blogs-but they never have time to actually do much writing. They spend so little time actually writing that they don’t improve.

Despite their great intentions, their daily choices are not taking them in the direction they want to go. (That’s my main reason for staying off the Internet till the afternoon, as mentioned in my Not-to-Do List. It diverts me from the path I want to take.)

“I know it’s tempting to believe that our good intentions, aspirations and dreams somehow have the ability to do an end run around the decisions we make on a daily basis,” says Andy. “But at the end of the day, the principle of the path determines the outcome. Simply put, you and I will win or lose in life by the paths we choose.”

What path will you choose today?

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