April 18, 2012

The last couple of weeks we’ve discussed the difference between commitment and motivation.

A true commitment is a heart-felt promise to yourself, from which you will NOT back down, no matter what the circumstances. Hopefully, you have re-committed to your writing in a signifant way!

When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results. But then what?

The Slippery Slope of Compromise

Unfortunately, what often follows (sometimes after a very short period of time) is a compromise. Little ones at first, but they grow quickly into big ones.

Writers have good intentions and dreams, but only a few are willing to commit to what is necessary to achieve them. Zig Ziglar said,

“It was character that got us out of bed,

commitment that moved us into action,

and discipline that enabled us to follow through.”

So then…what keeps us from following through? Compromise. (I’m not talking about the good kind of compromise, where everyone “gives” a little so we all get our needs met, but the kind of compromise that keeps us from becoming writers of excellence.)

What Happens to the Commitment?

One definition of compromise is “a concession to something detrimental; to reduce the quality or value of something.” In our minds, often without conscious thought, we reduce the value of writing daily (or whatever we committed to.) It becomes less important over time as life’s other demands take precedence.

Unfortunately, compromise is more common than sticking to a commitment. As Bertrand Russell once said,

“Real life, to most men, is a long second-best,

a perpetual compromise

between the ideal and the possible.”

What is the ideal? Whatever goal we committed to. What is the possible? It’s the second-best choice–the compromise–we sigh and accept.

Accepting Second Best

How do committed writers compromise? Let me count the ways:

• I know I said I would write for an hour every day this week before going to work, but I’m too tired today, so I’ll read a writing blog today instead.
• I committed to writing twenty minutes before taking a break, and I mean to do that, but I just have to answering a ringing phone!
• I committed to writing one query every week, but since this week got away from me, I’ll start over next week.

What’s the answer? Pay attention to when you compromise. Is it when you’re overly tired? Then get to bed earlier. Is it after you’ve talked to your super successful friend who leaves you feeling depressed? Then write before you see this friend.

Search out the reasons you compromise and block them! Never under-estimate the power of commitment without compromise.

As Bill Cosby said,

“Anyone can dabble,

but once you’ve made that commitment,

your blood has that particular thing in it,

and it’s very hard for people to stop you.”

And the person who most often tries to stop you? Yourself. Recognize it. Be alert for the temptations to compromise. And just say “No, I’m committed to this.” And go back to writing.

 

April 11, 2012

Last week I talked about motivation and commitment, and we discussed the differences and definitions. [Read “Motivation or Commitment? Only ONE is Necessary” first.]

 

Motivation can be fleeting, but real commitment is here to stay.

The WHY Behind Committment

Commitments come in different sizes. I am committed to big things (my marriage, children, and grandchildren) and I’m committed to smaller things (paying the bills on time, and brushing my teeth.)

Other things I do when I’m “motivated” (like spruce up the guest room when company is coming, or buy new shoes for some social event). But I don’t like to decorate or shop, so unless I’m motivated by something outside myself, I don’t do those two things. But I pay bills and babysit grandkids, no matter what else is going on in my life.

Commitments occur when something is truly gut level important to us. Some things I’ve always been committed to (e.g. my family and paying my bills). I would hate to be a bad mother or a deadbeat. Other things started off as “sometimes activities,” based on whether or not I felt motivated (e.g. cutting out junk food and eating vegetables); they only moved to the “committed” category when I encountered various health issues that demanded a change. It was amazing to me how my waffling attitude became committed overnight.

Reasons to Commit

What about our writing? As an ICL student and early writer, I was motivated! I loved the writing, being published, being paid, seeing bylines, you name it. I was excited by it all. During the single parenting years, the writing became a commitment. (Meeting deadlines was non-negotiable; it meant having food on the table.)

But the kids are all adults now, and my writing income isn’t required to keep a roof over our heads. I wonder if that’s why, in recent years, the writing commitment has slipped back into the “I need to feel motivated to write” category. Whatever the reason, I do NOT like it. I am determined to move my writing back to the committed side.

Some commitments come naturally to me (like with God, my family, and my country). Some commitments I make when I really want something (like giving up sugar and caffeine because I wanted my health back). I know that commitment is a choice. Is it just a matter of choosing to be committed? Is it the old Nike slogan, “Just do it!” [I sure hope not. I am sick of that route.]

Check Out the Obstacles

I think part of my problem is the shifting publishing scene. I love some of the new options, but some of it I really don’t. My old writing life, the one I was committed to for years, no longer exists. Publishing has changed that much, especially with all the marketing that has shifted to the writer’s shoulders, even if you’re published by a traditional publisher.

I think part of the problem has been re-defining what writing now means to me—and describing a writing life that I could truly commit to. What would it have to look like? What would the writing experience need to include (and exclude) for me to re-make a whole-hearted commitment to it? Each of us needs to answer that question for ourselves, and it will be different for each writer.

I DO know that I’m tired of the almost constant need to re-motivate myself. It takes a lot of time and writing energy. When I’m finally motivated to write some days, I’ve had a lot of fun. But I’ve used up my writing time. I’ve journaled (or done writing prompts and exercises) so long that there is little time left.

Of course, one sure-fire way of making yourself committed is to take on so many writing projects that the deadlines force you to write. Been there, done that—and I’m tired of writing with a gun to my head. There must be another way.

Steps to Committing

After doing a lot of reading and talking to some very committed writers, I discovered that they had at least four common traits. None of them required constant motivation to write. They were simply committed to it.

So…here are some steps that appear to be requirements if you want to make a commitment to your writing:

1. You must see your writing commitment as important. For some reason, we often find it easier to commit to things for other people. I think that’s why my middle years of writing were easier commitment-wise. I wasn’t just selfishly doing something I wanted to do. I was doing it to feed and clothe the kids. It moved the writing into a category of “things you do, whether you feel like it or not.” The same goes for health changes made in recent years. For some reason, I couldn’t see that taking personal time to get healthy (exercise, sleep enough, eat right) was that important—until I couldn’t keep up with my grandbabies. We’re so good at making commitments to others. It’s time to set necessary boundaries and make a commitment to yourself. You must see your writing as important, whether or not it directly benefits others at this time.

2. You must be careful about what you commit to. You will shoot yourself in the foot if you commit to the wrong things (or too much of the right things). I used to cringe when I received a new student whose goal was publishing his/her first novel with a traditional publisher within months. Equally difficult goals include output goals like writing 4,000 words every day. Few writers can keep that up day after day. You will find it easier to commit to goals like “I will write every day for a minimum of one hour” or “I will query five editors/agents each week until I get a request for my manuscript.” These goals are both more realistic and things under your own control. (And if you manage to do even more on any given day, you feel super successful!) You must choose your commitments carefully.

3. Committed people learn about what they want to do. They don’t just set goals or have wishes, then hope for the best. They take steps to learn all they can, and they apply that knowledge. They learn what they need to do to maximize their chances for success. Athletes learn how to build muscle and endurance, and what foods make the best fuel. Moms continually learn about child development, what makes a healthy diet for kids, and how to educate them. And committed writers are always learning about their craft and their markets, through books, classes, workshops and critique groups. You must outline your own personal learning program.

4. Committed people plan for success. “They plan to work, and they work the plan,” as the saying goes. Success doesn’t just happen, and committed people know this. They are very intentional about what they do. Athletes lay out work clothes the night before and plan nutritious menus. Moms continually incorporate learning activities into daily routines, always looking for those “teachable moments.” And (among other things) committed writers organize their desks and writing materials the night before, get off-line, and then get a decent night’s sleep so they can be alert in the morning. Another old saying is, “A fail to plan is planning to fail.” It’s that important. You must think ahead and design rituals that set you up for writing success.

In summary, committed writers who don’t rely on constant motivational “recharging” appear to follow these “rules”:

• You must see your writing as important, whether or not it directly benefits others at this time.
• You must choose your commitments carefully.
• You must outline your own personal learning program.
• You must think ahead and design rituals that set you up for writing success.

And then, after all this, committed writers “just do it!”

 

November 24, 2010

Hope you read “Who’s in Charge?” (Part 1) first!

On Monday I talked about taking charge of your negative thought because where the mind goes, the man (or woman) follows! And how will that help?

Attitudes

Changing your thoughts will change your attitudes and emotional feelings about writing. Instead of postponing happiness until you get published, for example, choose to be content with your writing today.

Choose to enjoy the act of putting words down on paper to capture an image. Choose to enjoy delving into your memories for a kernel of a story idea. Choose to enjoy the process of reading back issues of magazines you want to submit to. Choose to enjoy reading a book on plot or dialogue or characterization for tips you can apply to your stories.

Instead of feeling pressured to succeed quickly, choose to be patient with your learning curve. Choose to be happy about each small, steady step forward.

Zoom Out!

Look at the larger picture, how each writing day is another small building block laying the foundation of your career. Stay present in the present! Pace yourself with the determined attitude of the tortoise instead of the sprinter attitude of the hare.

You also need to choose an attitude of commitment. Commit to your goals and deadlines, to continued improvement in your writing, and to dealing with negative feelings as they come up. Commitment is more than “I wish” or “I’d like.” Commitment is “I will.” There is a huge difference! (Like the gap between a man saying, “Gee, I’d like to marry you” and “Will you marry me–here’s the ring–let’s set a date!”)

Move from the wishy-washy attitude of “I’d like to be a writer” to the commitment level of “I’ll do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to be a successful writer.” That one change in attitude can be what determines if you make it as a writer.

(Stay tuned for Part 3 on Friday.)

November 15, 2010

Do you ever wonder if you’re a REAL writer? If you have doubts, it might be because you have a bad case of the “shoulds.”

Symptoms of the “shoulds” include:

• You should write first thing in the morning.
• You should write daily.
• You should keep a journal.
• You should write down your dreams every morning.
• You should have a room of your own and be organized!
• You should write for publication.

What if some of the “shoulds” just go against your grain? Are you not a real writer then? What if you write best after 10 p.m. instead of first thing in the morning? What if you start journals repeatedly and never last more than three days? What if you can’t remember your dreams? What if an organized office makes you freeze and you secretly prefer writing in chaos?

Are you a REAL writer then? YES!

What Am I Exactly?

If you struggle with your identity as a writer–if you don’t seem to fit the mold no matter how you’ve tried–you would love the book I found over the weekend. It’s called The Write Type: Discover Your True Writer’s Identity and Create a Customized Writing Plan by Karen E. Peterson, who wrote the best book on writer’s block I ever read.

This book takes you through exercises to find the real writer who lives inside you. You’ll explore the ten components that make up a writer’s “type.” They include such things as tolerance for solitude, best time of day to write, amount of time, need for variety, level of energy, and level of commitment. Finding your own personal combination of traits helps you build a writer’s life where you can be your most productive and creative.

Free to Be Me

To be honest, the exercises with switching hands (right brain/left brain) didn’t help me as much as the discussions about each trait. I could usually identify my inner preferences quite easily through the discussion. It gave me freedom to be myself as a writer. It also helped me pinpoint a few areas where I believed some “shoulds” that didn’t work for me, where I was trying to force this square peg writer into a round hole and could stop!

We’re all different–no surprise!–but we published writers are sometimes too quick to pass along our own personal experience in the form of “shoulds.” You should write first thing in the morning should actually be stated, It works well for ME to write first thing in the morning, so you might try that.

What About You?

Have you come up against traits of “real writers” that just don’t seem to fit you? Do you like to flit from one unfinished project to another instead of sticking to one story until it’s finished and submitted? Do you need noise around you and get the heebie jeebies when it’s too quiet?

If you have time, leave a comment concerning one or two areas where you have struggled in the past with a “real writer” trait. Let’s set ourselves free from the tyranny of the shoulds!

October 18, 2010

Learning how to be content with what you have brings great peace. I’ve done several studies on contentment, and it’s a state I try to live in.

That said, I also believe there is such a thing as divine discontent. It’s akin to the stirring of the nest when it’s time for baby birds to leave their comfort zone and fly.

That “I want something more” feeling is what prompted me to take the ICL writing course thirty years ago, the only writer’s “training” I’ve ever had.

Spinning Your Wheels

This divine discontent is a longing for something different. You may feel stuck in a job that saps so much energy that you don’t have any left over for your writing. You may have climbed to the top of the corporate ladder and found it less satisfying than you’d expected. Your kids may finally be in school all day, but your days are crammed with things that don’t fulfill you.

This restless discontent can be a sign that you’re being called to something else. If you’re reading this blog, perhaps it’s a career in writing.

Signposts Along the Way

According to The Practical Dreamer’s Handbook: Finding the Time, Money, and Energy to Live Your Dreams by Paul and Sarah Edwards, there are sixteen signs to look for that might mean something is missing in your life–and something new is waiting to be born. The signs include:

• Not wanting to get out of bed
• Feeling mildly depressed for days on end
• Difficulty motivating yourself to do routine tasks
• Overeating, using alcohol, drugs, or TV to feel better or escape
• Losing interest in things that once engaged you
• Feeling chronically tired, de-energized, and listless
• Nagging doubts about yourself and the course of your life
• Losing a sense of enthusiasm
• Worrying about how you’ll keep things together
• Getting frequent headaches, stomach upset, and other aches and pains
• Feeling bored and restless
• Sleeping too much or too little
• Wishing you were someone else
• Nagging and complaining
• Having frequently bad dreams or nightmares
• Feeling constantly overwhelmed and irritable

What if you identify with these signs of discontent with your life? Could this restless sense of “I need something more” be a calling to do something else? Something besides what “everyone” thinks you should do?

Finding Out

Behind the Stories: Christian Novelists Reveal the Heart in the Art of Their Writing (by Diane Eble) is forty stories by novelists telling  how they found their way to writing–and the winding paths they sometimes traveled before they could write full-time.

One novelist, Alton Gansky, summed up “divine discontent” well: “Perhaps this is the hallmark of a calling: this sense that you are meant to do something, the restlessness that comes when you don’t do it, the deep satisfaction you feel when you do it–whatever “it” is.

How do you find “it”? Ask yourself, “What is it I have loved doing, what has given me that sense of satisfaction? What would I do if I had two days to do whatever I wanted? What do I tend to gravitate toward and make time for? What do I feel passionate about? What have I always dreamed of doing?” These questions may begin to uncover that thing you do, or would like to do, that is your gift and perhaps your calling.

Making Changes

How about you? Does any of this resonate with you at this point of your life? Do you sense a need for change of direction (either major or minor)? I know that’s a really personal question, but do share a comment if you can!

 

May 15, 2009

Surprise! I just returned from ten days in England!

We visited homes of famous authors, Chepstow and Goodrich castles, the Tintern Abbey ruins, Stonehenge, Salisbury Cathedral, and Oxford. We hiked in Wales along the Wye River, rode trains, navigated the Underground in London, and learned to drive on the left side of the road. My absolute favorite times were visiting Jane Austen’s homes in Bath and Chawton Village, plus a 90-minute private tour of C.S. Lewis’ home by the wonderful warden of The Kilns. (More about the Lewis home later.)

Our super-generous children gave us plane tickets to the U.K. last year for our annivesary, and I planned and saved for this trip all year. I didn’t mention it before we left because I’d heard that burglars were high tech now and read blogs to find out when people would be leaving their homes unattended. I left my computer behind, and a friend posted my pre-written blog entries. (Thank you, Joanna!) I didn’t even check email when gone. I wanted to immerse myself in the worlds of Jane Austen and C.S. Lewis–and it was pure heaven on earth.

Kinship of Writers

Jane’s home in Chawton was where she revised Sense & Sensibility and Pride & Prejudice for publication. Here she also wrote Emma, Persuasion, Mansfield Park and part of another novel before becoming ill. After visiting Jane’s house in Chawton, I felt a kinship with her. She lived in the kind of home I would have loved (see below): several hundred years old, two stories, cozy fireplaces in every room, big flower and vegetable gardens, set on a cobblestone street lined with tiny shops and thatched-roof cottages.

Her writing desk (above–seen behind glass) was tiny. I was struck by the contrast between her small desk, just big enough for her paper and ink well, and my two desks back home covered with computers, printers, books, notebooks, and assorted junk. Jane had no shelves of how-to writing books, no writing room of her own, no Internet or cell phone.

She wrote in the mornings, after breakfast, before helping her mother and sister with household tasks or visiting or entertaining numerous nieces and nephews. She put her writing first in her day, before it got taken over by friends or family or other obligations. There was a lesson for me!

She also wrote about what she knew and experienced–and what interested her–despite pressure from her publisher to write what would make more money. They wanted gothic and historical romances, not her “simple little stories” about her everyday village life and how several families affected each other. (Remember: although her books are historical to her present-day fans, she was writing contemporary fiction.) Her heroes and heroines who learned about their character flaws and overcame them–like Darcy’s pride and Lizzie’s tendency toward hasty judgments–were considered too tame for the reading public.

Write Your Passion

I loved reading Jane’s responses to the publisher’s pressure. Her replies (there were photocopies of her letters) basically said that she could only write what they wanted if she were literally starving, and even though historical romances might be more popular or profitable than her “domestic stories of country villages…I would be hung before I could finish the first chapter…No, I must keep to my own style and go on in my own way, though I may never succeed again.” Wouldn’t that same publisher be astounded today to see the thousands of fans who still flock to the Jane Austen walking tours in Bath, the Jane Austen Centre, and her home in Chawton, who buy her books and watch movies made of them? Isn’t there a lesson for all writers here?

Perhaps this is what Jane was thinking when she wrote (in Mansfield Park): “We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.”

(I hope this blog makes sense. I’ve been up since 2 a.m. My body still thinks it’s in England–or wishes it was!)

November 14, 2008

Although Week Two on NaNoWriMo is generally more difficult, I found it much easier than last week. Both computers functioned without a hitch, so other than residual pains in the neck (literally), it was a smooth week. My sleep cycles are still haphazard, leftover from the marathon computer-fixing weekend, so most days I was awake before 3:30 a.m.

Since I had committed to writing my NaNo words first each day, I have finished my writing before breakfast all week. Talk about a high! After writing 2,700 new words this morning, breakfast was fun. At 6:30 I dawdled with muffins and a new Charles Todd English mystery, while most of the world was still asleep. (Of course, I’m asleep by 8 p.m. these days, which makes me even more of a party pooper than usual. I’m hoping to correct that in Week Three.) As of this moment, I have logged in 22,692 words for November.

Part of NaNoWriMo’s encouragement comes through email letters from veteran writers during the week. I want to share excerpts from two such letters below. These are words of writing wisdom useful for your entire writing life.

First is an excerpt from Philip Pullman. (Pullman is the award-winning author of the His Dark Materials trilogy. You can learn more about him and his work at his website.)

“The second thing you need to remember is that if you want to finish this journey you’ve begun, you have to keep going. One of the hardest things to do with a novel is to stop writing it for a while, do something else, fulfill this engagement or that commitment or whatever, and pick it up exactly where you left it and carry on as if nothing had happened. You will have changed; the story will have drifted off course, like a ship when the engines stop and there’s no anchor to keep it in place; when you get back on board, you have to warm the engines up, start the great bulk of the ship moving through the water again, work out your position, check the compass bearing, steer carefully to bring it back on track … all that energy wasted on doing something that wouldn’t have been necessary at all if you’d just kept going!

“But if you’re not a lover of stories, a passionate and devoted reader, don’t expect your novel to please many readers…On the other hand, if you do love reading, if you cannot imagine going on a journey without a book in your pocket or your bag, if you fret and fidget and become uncomfortable if you’re kept away from your reading for too long, if your worst nightmare is to be marooned on a desert island without a book—then take heart: there are plenty of us like you. And if you tell a story that really engages you, we are all potential readers.”

Second is an excerpt from Katherine Paterson. Katherine is the author of Bridge to Terabithia, Jacob Have I Loved, and The Great Gilly Hopkins. You can learn more about her and her work by visiting her website.

“I live in Barre, Vermont which calls itself the “Granite Capital of the World.” Outside our town are enormous quarries, so when I speak in local schools every child has a mental picture of a granite quarry. “You know how hard it is to get granite out of the quarry,” I say. “You have to carefully score the rock and put the explosive in to make the great granite block break loose from the face of the stone. Then you have to attach the block to the chains so that the cranes can lift it slowly out of the hole and put it on the waiting truck. That’s the first draft. It’s hard, dangerous work, and when you’ve finished, all you’ve really got is a block of stone. But now you have something to work on. Now you can take your block down to the shed to carve and polish it and turn it into something of beauty. That’s revision.”

Where do you find YOUR encouragement to keep on keepin’ on?