May 9, 2012

About every two years, I get a wake-up call when some form of exhaustion sets in. Without noticing, I have fudged on bedtimes, let boundaries be way too flexible, or simply taken on more than I should have.

Time to Re-Group

Then I have to sit down and play the game called ”Where’d My Time Go?” Usually I find that other people’s expectations have taken over my writing time. Nearly always I was at fault. I offered to do something I didn’t really have time for, or said “No problem!” when I should have said, “Sorry, I just can’t.”

My schedule is under control again, but I’d like to step out of this cycle once and for all. The best way I’ve found to save my writing time is to set policies. Remember, you’re the boss in your office! You have the authority to set whatever policies you need.

Time-Saving Policies

After you’ve spotted some of your weakest areas, develop policies to cover future requests. For some reason, stating that you have a “policy” about certain things carries more weight with people. Very few people argue when you have a “policy.”

Target the areas where you have the most trouble setting–and enforcing–boundaries. It might have to do with overtime on your day job, expectations from the neighbors, or any organization where you volunteer.

Some “company policies” might include:

• I have a policy about home business parties. I don’t attend them, and I don’t give them.
• I have a policy of not returning phone calls until the noon hour.
• I have a policy that says I don’t make doctors’ or dental appointments until after 3 p.m.
• I have a policy that includes no drop-in baby-sitting. I need a minimum of 48 hours notice.
• My policy states that I don’t commit to any event more than (X) months away. (Fill in your personal limit.)
• I choose to help with one party each year at my child’s school. That’s my class contribution, so what party would you like me to help with?
• My policy states that I charge $5 for each ten minutes that parents are late picking up their kids from my day care.

Under-Promise

Sometimes our commitments get out of hand because we want to do such an excellent job everywhere. So learn to under-promise, and later you can over-deliver if you have extra time.

For example, instead of volunteering to help at school the entire day, say you can come and read for one hour. If it turns out that you have extra time when the day rolls around, you can use the time to write or you can “over-deliver” on your promise and stay two hours. You’ll earn a reputation as someone who delivers even more than promised—and yet you’ll have saved time for yourself.

Time Credit Cards

Some of us (I’m guilty!) promise to do things months and months in advance when our calendars are still pristine white. Then six months later, when the event rolls around, our calendars are more jammed than we had anticipated; we regret that we ever agreed to that event or favor that really isn’t that important.

Too often we commit future time that we believe we’ll have, only to be caught up short later (like a credit card junkie who charges now and is just sure he’ll have the cash to pay it off later.)

Stop charging your time ahead! Cut up your time credit cards. Pay off whatever “time debt” you’ve accumulated at this point, but don’t charge anymore.

If people want you to commit to some volunteer thing more than a month away, simply say, “I have a policy that I don’t commit to things so far ahead. If you want to call me back in (X) months, I will be able to give you an answer then.” At that point, you’ll have a realistic idea of what your month’s schedule looks like.

If you are pressed for an answer (“I need to know now!”), then regretfully tell people that the answer will have to be “no.” (Given that choice, people will usually wait.)

E-mail, Social Networking, and Web Surfing

Limit your Internet time to two periods per day, before and after your writing. Keep it short. Answer crucial e-mail, but skip all the forwarded jokes and poignant stories till later. Unsubscribe from all but the best two or three e-newsletters you receive. Delete the junk without reading it. Check the social networking sites you use for marketing, and then close down. According to current workplace statistics, conquering e-mail/surfing/Facebook addiction can save you a full two or three hours per day.

Assignment: Where is your time going? Do you know? Keep track for a few weeks and be sure. Then begin to implement whatever policies you need in order to safeguard your time.

Write your company policies down and review them daily. As you use these policies, they will become second nature. Just remember that nature abhors a vacuum. Be ready to fill your new-found time with activities that can further your writing career.

***Speaking of furthering your writing career, in response to several emails, I’ve updated my critique service page. I am now reserving spots for July, August, and September. Just FYI!

June 9, 2010

We hear a lot about setting writing goals.  Do any of you have secret thoughts like these? Setting goals is great, but I don’t have the energy to pursue them or I’m already so exhausted that I can’t add one more thing to my life—even something I love.

Is that you? Then you’ve come to the right place.

Plug the Drains

Years ago I had a car that guzzled oil. I added a quart every Monday, but by Saturday the oil light was back on. It did no good to add oil without fixing the leak. The same holds true for your energy level. You can set goals, shore up your willpower, and grit your teeth, but you won’t have any more get-up-and-go until you plug your energy leaks.

We usually lose energy in two ways: enduring annoying or toxic behaviors in other people, and tolerating conduct in ourselves that is harmful (overeating, no exercise, over-due bills, or keeping a cluttered office.) One essential skill is learning how to set boundaries on yourself, such as: no sugar or caffeine before 5 p.m., bedtime by 10 p.m., straighten your desk when you quit work for the day, or pay bills the day they arrive.

You can also set and enforce boundaries with people who steal your energy. Limit your availability, for instance. If you have a cell phone, give the number only to those who really must have it. Your cell phone is to serve you—not the rest of the world. Other people can also drain us with their foul moods, irritating habits, and constant crises demanding our attention.

Learn to set boundaries in these situations; keep your energy inside (where it is useful) instead of spilling out on other people. Believe it or not, family members and friends can be expected to “fix” their own bad moods and self-created crises. (Memorize this: Lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on my part.) If you need help with this essential relationship skill, read Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

Remember: the goal is to find more energy for your writing. You must plug the unnecessary energy drains first. Then you’ll be ready to recover your ability to function with ease.

Get in Shape

You’ll be tempted to skip this step, but I hope you won’t. It’s far more important than most writers realize. Just like you need to maintain your car (oil, spark plugs, belts, brakes) if you expect it to run smoothly, you need to maintain a healthy body if you expect to write in flow, enjoy your work, and be productive.

Are you health conscious? “I watch what I put into my body—no alcohol, drugs, caffeine,” says Sophy Burnham in For Writers Only. “I have become so sensitive to my body’s claims that now I actually often eat when hungry (imagine!), stop and lie down when tired. It has taken me years to learn to listen for those two simple demands, knowing that I write better when the machinery’s warmed up, oiled, clean.”

We all write better in that state. I encourage you to take a “health inventory” right now—and do whatever is necessary to turn you into a lean, clean writing machine.

Create Energy!

After you’ve plugged the leaks and kicked your health up a notch, it’s time to actually create energy instead of wasting it. If you have set (and enforced) boundaries on yourself and others, you’re no longer tied to energy-draining habits and situations. This should have freed up some time for you. Use that time wisely now—to create more energy in your life.

Nurturing activities create energy. So, what nourishes your soul and spirit? List activities (ten-minute activities, two-hour activities, half-a-day activities) that give you a real boost. This list will be very individual. For example, my list of energizers includes hot chocolate in my porch swing, photos of castles in England, Jane Austen movies, and journaling. Your energizing activities might be more social (going to the beach with your family) or more physical (running or snorkeling.) Whatever things energize you, incorporate them into your daily life.

Is All This Really Necessary?

Why the emphasis on making more energy? Without sufficient energy (both physical and mental) we won’t be creative writers. We’ll sound tired and bored, and writing will be an uphill struggle.

So…your assignment for the summer, should you choose to accept it, is:

1. Identify your energy drains.
2. Set boundaries with self and others, where necessary.
3. Make physical health an ongoing commitment.
4. Incorporate energizing activities into your daily life.

Then be ready for untapped sources of energy to bubble up!

May 19, 2010

A few weeks ago in “Find a Need and Fill It” I asked for your input concerning the topics you find most helpful in this blog.

Thank you all for the responses! It’s been very helpful. The requests fell into three main categories. Since I blog on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, that made it easy for me. From now on, this will be my general blogging schedule so that I can cover each topic area regularly.

What You Can Expect

Monday = Inner Motivation (includes:)

• fears–all kinds!
• discipline
• focus
• goals
• rejection
• lack of motivation
• encouragement
• a writer’s dream life
• procrastination
• working with our “inner editor”
• enjoying writing more
• perseverance
• creative inspiration
• writer’s block

Wednesday = Outer Challenges (includes:)

• setting boundaries
• time management
• distractions
• discipline
• writing schedules
• goal setting
• balancing writing with chaos in life
• balancing day jobs with writing
• our writing needs (vs. “their” needs)
• self-defeating behaviors

Friday = Tips ‘n’ Tricks of the Trade (includes:)

• specific genre help
• writing books I’ve found helpful
• blogs I find useful
• classes I’ve taken
• voice (writer’s and character’s)
• critique groups
• conferences
• working with publishers
• marketing–all kinds
• considering the audience when writing
• dealing with publishers who don’t respond
• finding good markets
• developing depth in writing
• selling “unique” pieces instead of jumping on the bandwagon

Thanks for Your Input

All your feedback has been immensely helpful in organizing future blog posts and making sure I cover topics you want to hear about and find useful. If I missed anything on these lists, feel free to let me know!

March 10, 2010

Do you feel as if you’re forever running to catch up and keep up? Is finding any time at all to write a challenge for you? If so, you’ll need to simplify your life—choose what really matters—and slow your pace.

But HOW?

Reflective Thinking

With all the noise of modern life and the frantic running around, we have little chance to hear the inner whispers and feel the nudges that try to warn us. “Hold on—this isn’t right” or “You really don’t want to do this.”

Sometimes life gives you the gift of stopping you in your tracks. That happened to me a couple years ago when I ran a fever for eight days and ended up with many sleepless nights to think. I took stock of my rat-race, anything-but-serene lifestyle, and I asked myself some hard questions. If you also want to get off the merry-go-round, take a note pad and jot the answers to these questions pertaining to your own life.

*Why is my life as busy as it is?
*Why have I chosen to commit to so many things?
*What are the costs to me right now of living like this? What are the future costs?
*What tasks/meetings/jobs are no longer necessary? (Only one out of my four cancelled appointments that week needed to be rescheduled. The others, it turned out, weren’t that important.)
*Which activities are things other people thought I should do?
*Which volunteer positions do I no longer enjoy?
*Which professional organizations no longer meet my needs and can be dropped?

This time of reflection was so very profitable. It enabled me to spot three big changes I could make, immediately freeing up about fifteen hours per month.

Should I? Shouldn’t I?

Is your life run according to shoulds (your own or other people’s?) When asked to run a concession stand at your child’s school or attend a make-up or clothing party, do you agree because you feel you should, rather than because you have a real desire to do it? Do you even take time to make a thoughtful decision, or does the should rule?

In a sermon entitled “The Unhurried Life,” the pastor reminded us that “NO is a complete sentence.” In other words, sometimes you can just say no. Or “I’m sorry, but I can’t.” Period. Don’t let people guilt you into doing things you just don’t want to do.

Reassess the value of your time. Is it really more important that you do the volunteer newsletter for your neighborhood association—or that you put that time toward your writing dream? None of us likes to have people mad at us. On the other hand, it may be a price worth paying in order to have a fighting chance to realize your dreams.

February 10, 2010

According to the National Science Foundation, the average person has about 12,000 thoughts per day, or 4.4 million thoughts per year.

I wager that writers are well above the average because we read more and writing causes us to think more than the average.

Who’s In Charge?

I had known for a long time that our thoughts affect our emotions, and that toxic “stinking thinking” could derail our writing dreams and health faster than almost anything. You are the only one who can decide whether to reject or accept a thought, which thoughts to dwell on, and which thoughts will become actions.

But sometimes–a lot of the time–I felt powerless to actually do anything about it on a consistent basis. Sometimes I simply felt unfocused and overwhelmed.

Need a Brain Detox?

I’ve been reading a “scientific brain studies” book for non-science types like me called Who Switched Off My Brain? by Dr. Caroline Leaf Ph.D. which has fascinated me. With scientific studies to back it up, it shows that thoughts are measurable and actually occupy mental “real estate.” Thoughts are active; they grow and change, influencing every decision we make and physical reaction we have.

“Every time you have a thought, it is actively changing your brain and your body–for better or for worse.” The author talks about the “Dirty Dozen”–which can be as harmful as poison in our minds and our bodies.

Killing Our Creativity

Among this dozen deadly areas of toxic thinking are toxic emotions, toxic words, toxic seriousness, toxic health, and toxic schedules.

If you want to delve into the 350+ scientific references and pages of end notes in the back of the book, you can look up the studies. But basically it targets the twelve toxic areas of our lives that produce 80% of the physical, emotional and mental health issues today. And trust me. Those issues have a great deal to do with you achieving your goals and dreams.

There Is Hope!

According to Dr. Leaf, scientists no longer believe that the brain is hardwired from birth with a fixed destiny to wear out with age, a fate predetermined by our genes. Instead there is scientific proof now for what the Bible has always taught: you can renew your minds and heal. Your brain really can change!

Old brain patterns can be altered, and new patterns can be implemented. In the coming days, I’ll share some more about the author’s ”Brain Sweep” five-step strategy for detoxing your thoughts associated with the “dirty dozen.”

But right now I’m going to read about the symptoms of a toxic schedule. I have a suspicion…

January 21, 2009

Do your writing first! Leave the dishes and your exercise routine and everything else–and just write. Haven’t we all heard that advice a hundred times?

I have–and I’m still no good at it. But from this point on, I will be!

Accountability, thy name is Donna!

In the online class I’m taking this month, we were encouraged to pair up with what is called a change coach. We hold each other accountable and encourage each other to pursue our goals. And we’re supposed to confront (nicely) when our partner isn’t keeping her commitment.

My change coach is Donna McDine, the middle-grade novel reviewer at the Writing for Children Center. A graduate of the Institute’s course, she also blogs at the “Write What Inspires You!” site. We noticed this week that while we both have great written goals, put in lots of hours, and truly LOVE to write–we weren’t getting much writing done on our own projects. (We wrote for others, critiqued, reviewed, taught, and blogged–but by the time we got around to our own books, we were too tired or it was evening and others needed us.)

Ready, Set, Go!

So, we made a deal, Donna and I. We have committed to writing first thing each morning on our own projects. I’m aiming for a minimum of an hour daily. If we can do more, great. But Monday through Friday, we’ve promised to spend time on our books first. When we’re done, we’ll email each other to say how long we wrote. It won’t take us long to send that email, but since I’ll know Donna is waiting for my report, I bet I get the writing done.

It’s on our schedule first now. And we’re planning ahead for success. We’re taking time before we quit each day to set up our desks with all the materials we’ll need to get started right away in the morning. One iron-clad rule we agreed on: absolutely NO Internet until the writing is done.

Do YOU write first thing each morning, before you get caught up in the day’s demands? If so, what are the tricks YOU use to make it work? We can use all the tips you have as we try to establish this new habit!

February 20, 2008

I had so much writing planned for today–alone in the house with no distractions or appointments. But, alas, I did something last night to my ribs in a coughing fit and have to see a doctor this morning. Distractions! Interruptions! How does a writer get anything done? Well, I printed out the chapter. I’ll take it along to read in the waiting room (emphasis on waiting–you always wait forever at my doctor’s office.) This all reminded me of an article I’d written a few years ago about dealing with distractions, so I’ll post that here–and head off to the doctor’s office.
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During the early stages of a writing project, when you’re gathering ideas and deciding on your approach, it’s useful to daydream and be unfocused in your thinking. However, there comes a time to focus, to fully concentrate on the work, as if you were putting a beam of sunlight through a magnifying glass to concentrate its power until the paper it touches bursts into flame.

Why Focus?
When you focus, you’ll accomplish writing projects in half the time, and your concentrated efforts will produce better work. Focusing also builds momentum and enthusiasm, urging us to move steadily toward finished stories, articles, and books.

Being able to focus is critical. As Stephen Covey (author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) says, “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”

Getting Sidetracked
What keeps us from focusing? Distractions. They have always been with us. Agatha Christie once said, “I enjoy writing in the desert. There are no distractions such as telephones, theaters, opera houses and gardens.” While our modern-day distractions may have changed a bit (e-mails to answer, faxes coming in, the World Series on TV), the result of being sidetracked by them remains the same. We don’t finish our writing. We don’t study guidelines and mail that manuscript. We don’t follow up on marketing tips. If we stall long enough, we may quit altogether.

So how do we deal with things that take us away from our writing? Try adapting the Serenity Prayer for this purpose: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the distractions I cannot change, courage to change the distractions I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

Wisdom to Know
What are some distractions you cannot change or ignore? Sometimes it’s a sick child or spouse or a crisis with a friend. Sometimes your boss gives you an overtime assignment with a “now” deadline. There may be a project that needs to be attended to without delay, like your teenager’s last-minute college entrance application. This type of interruption or distraction you have little control over. You grin and bear it.

However, we need wisdom to know the difference between the distractions that are unavoidable and those we allow. Chances are, you’re your own worst enemy when it comes to distractions that keep you from writing. So take courage! Change what you can in order to focus on your writing.

1. Use an answering machine to screen calls. Better yet, turn the ringer off altogether so you’re not tempted to pick up when you hear your best friend’s voice. Then return calls at lunch time or when you’ve finished your daily writing stint.

2. Isolate yourself as much as possible from the traffic flow. I now have my own office, but I’ve written in family rooms and bedrooms and dens. The family room was the most difficult with constant interruptions of TV, kids, and doorbells. The more you can shut the door on distractions, the easier you’ll find it to focus.

3. Take note of your own personal distractions. The blinds in my office are pulled because I look outside every time a car/garbage truck/motorcycle/UPS truck/bus/delivery truck goes by. I also remove all chocolate from my work space. Even hidden in the back of a drawer, it calls to me while I work and distracts me, whether I stop to eat it or not. Nice weather tempts me to go out for a while, so I don’t put on makeup until late in the day. I know I won’t show my face in public without it–so I’ll stay home and write instead.

4. Leave the mail alone. Reading letters and e-mail and surfing the Net can be a major distraction. It interrupts your flow to stop and sort the mail. And if your mail contains rejection letters, bills, and bank statements, it can create an instant slump. So get the snail-mail if you must, but stash it in a basket until the end of the day when you’re done writing. The same is true for e-mail. Leave it unopened and unread till late afternoon (unless it’s a response from an editor!).

5. For non-emergencies, make your family wait. Barter with your family for writing time. When you’re finished, you’ll make popcorn. When you’re finished, you’ll play catch. When you’re finished, you’ll go rent a movie. (Just be sure you actually follow through on your promises!)

6. Leave home. If home is too chaotic sometimes, take your work to the library or a park or a cafe, somewhere quiet with no phone and a minimum of distractions.

7. Organize your work space first. Arrange your work space before you begin writing, to ensure that you have everything you need. Don’t run out of paper halfway through typing your chapter. Keep things within reach. Even finding a new ink cartridge or box of paper clips in your supply closet can distract you. Before you know it, you’ve spent half an hour rearranging the closet shelves.

8. Silence can be golden. Are you as distracted by noise as I am? I run a fan on high speed for white noise, and during school vacations I also use ear plugs. If traffic bothers you–or if you’re in a quiet neighborhood where twittering birds distract you–close the windows during your writing time.

9. Change your schedule. Get up earlier and write when the world is still asleep. Phones don’t ring. Kids don’t interrupt. Your spouse is still snoring. (This works equally well if you’re a night owl and can write after the world shuts down for the night.)

10. Eat healthy meals at regular intervals. Avoid the distraction of a growling stomach or a hunger headache. If you’re always thirsty, keep cold drinks within reach. A mini-refrigerator in your office, filled with bottled water and fresh fruit, an keep you from constantly running to the kitchen.

Focus!
Take time to study yourself, discovering your own favorite distractions. Once in a while we have absolutely no control over interruptions. However, most of the time, we (consciously or not) use distractions to keep us from having to face the work and anxiety of putting words on paper.

The next time you sit down at your keyboard, close your eyes and imagine yourself as that concentrated beam of light focused by the magnifying glass. Then open your eyes, hit the keys, and set the world on fire!