February 10, 2010

According to the National Science Foundation, the average person has about 12,000 thoughts per day, or 4.4 million thoughts per year.

I wager that writers are well above the average because we read more and writing causes us to think more than the average.

Who’s In Charge?

I had known for a long time that our thoughts affect our emotions, and that toxic “stinking thinking” could derail our writing dreams and health faster than almost anything. You are the only one who can decide whether to reject or accept a thought, which thoughts to dwell on, and which thoughts will become actions.

But sometimes–a lot of the time–I felt powerless to actually do anything about it on a consistent basis. Sometimes I simply felt unfocused and overwhelmed.

Need a Brain Detox?

I’ve been reading a “scientific brain studies” book for non-science types like me called Who Switched Off My Brain? by Dr. Caroline Leaf Ph.D. which has fascinated me. With scientific studies to back it up, it shows that thoughts are measurable and actually occupy mental “real estate.” Thoughts are active; they grow and change, influencing every decision we make and physical reaction we have.

“Every time you have a thought, it is actively changing your brain and your body–for better or for worse.” The author talks about the “Dirty Dozen”–which can be as harmful as poison in our minds and our bodies.

Killing Our Creativity

Among this dozen deadly areas of toxic thinking are toxic emotions, toxic words, toxic seriousness, toxic health, and toxic schedules.

If you want to delve into the 350+ scientific references and pages of end notes in the back of the book, you can look up the studies. But basically it targets the twelve toxic areas of our lives that produce 80% of the physical, emotional and mental health issues today. And trust me. Those issues have a great deal to do with you achieving your goals and dreams.

There Is Hope!

According to Dr. Leaf, scientists no longer believe that the brain is hardwired from birth with a fixed destiny to wear out with age, a fate predetermined by our genes. Instead there is scientific proof now for what the Bible has always taught: you can renew your minds and heal. Your brain really can change!

Old brain patterns can be altered, and new patterns can be implemented. In the coming days, I’ll share some more about the author’s ”Brain Sweep” five-step strategy for detoxing your thoughts associated with the “dirty dozen.”

But right now I’m going to read about the symptoms of a toxic schedule. I have a suspicion…

January 29, 2010

If you’re a plumber hired to unclog my drain, but I catch you sitting and looking out the window, I can, in all fairness, say you’re not working. If you’re my cleaning lady, but I catch you rocking in a chair staring into space, I can say justly that you’re not working.

What about writers? Not so easy to tell!

Thinking vs. Writing

According to Wallace Stevens, “It is not always easy to tell the difference between thinking and looking out the window.” It’s also not always easy to tell the difference between thinking and going for a walk, between thinking and washing dishes, between thinking and daydreaming, and between thinking and grazing in the fridge.

Why is this true? Lots of thinking precedes writing. For fiction writers, thinking about characters, getting to know them, listening to their voices-all this happens in the head while “thinking.” Plot twists and turns give birth while “thinking”-and woe unto the writer who skips thinking and writes the first thing that comes into her head.

Although all this pre-thinking is critical, that isn’t all the thinking you’ll have to do. Even while working on revisions, you’ll find yourself thinking and staring out the window, thinking and walking, thinking and grazing. You understand that “I’m thinking” means ”so please don’t interrupt.” Chances are, your family won’t. Instead they will walk into the room where you’re “thinking-writing” and say, “Oh good, you’re not doing anything. Can you hold the ladder for me?”

Thinking in Disguise

That’s why I prefer to do my thinking in private if I can. Otherwise it just seems to invite interruptions, often at a critical moment when I’ve just about figured out my theme or where the climax scene needs to go.

If I’m home alone, that’s no problem. If it’s in the evening, though, or on a weekend, I weed flowers or fold a load of laundry or wash dishes when I need to think something through. (Nobody bothers you when doing chores-they might get roped into helping.)

Reap the Rewards

Contrary to the life of a plumber or housekeeper, a lot of the writer’s real work happens when she’s looking out the window. Sometimes my clearest thoughts, my best insights for how to fix things, come when I’m not thinking about the piece of writing at all.

Give yourself enough of this “mindless” time, and you’ll be amazed what bubbles up to your conscious mind. Despite the heckling you may receive, during this thinking time you’re a writer at work. And the pay-off will be huge.

December 23, 2009

When you get up on the wrong side of the bed, are you deep in a blue  funk before you realize what’s happened? Don’t you wish you could catch yourself at the top of that downward slide–and reverse it?

Help is Here!

I read a terrific blog post that gives you the tools to do exactly that. The article gives specific steps for thwarting that “negativity spiral” and it’s written by Carol Grannick, a writer and licensed clinical social worker in private practice. She works with writers and non-writers who want to create and maintain more resilient, meaningful lives.

The article itself is good, but get a cup of coffee or tea and settle back. In order to get the full impact of the article, you’ll want to follow the five or six embedded links to related articles. (I was surprised to find the last link actually came back to my own blog.)

Thing About What You’re Thinking About!

Noticing and stopping this spiral is going to be one of my New Year’s Resolutions. Catching ourselves at the top of the negativity spiral should certainly be easier than digging ourselves out of pit we’ve fallen into.

I believe this is one of those places where an ounce of prevention truly IS worth a pound of cure!

December 7, 2009

Are you a hero

              

 

              or a fool?

 

 

 

 

I had never considered the question in regards to writing–until this past weekend when I was reading James Scott Bell’s new book, The Art of War for Writers: fiction writing strategies, tactics, and exercises.

Fools Rush In…

This book is written in very short chapters, just right for my weekend, which entailed a multitude of car trips back and forth across town. I just read as I was carted from place to place. You may be familiar with Bell’s other writing craft books (one of my favorites is Plot & Structure), but this book is different.

In addition to the section where Bell helps writers pull their stories up another professional notch or two, he has sections on how to plan and behave in the writing world. I was particularly struck by his comments on heroes and fools in today’s writing world. I’ll describe both, according to Bell. I hope you find yourself much more in one category than the other!

You’re a Fool If…

• you think publishing should happen for you immediately
• you don’t think you have much to learn
• you demand to be noticed even if your writing stinks
• you get knocked down and whine about it forever

You’re a Hero If…

• you know it takes hard work and a long time to get published
• you learn your craft, always studying to get better
• you fight to make your writing worthy, even when no one notices
• you get knocked down and you quietly regroup to write again

I think you get the idea. I’m sorry to say that in our “instant gratification” world, I’ve seen a faster growth in fools lately than in heroes. However, if you’re a writer who recognizes himself in the “fool” category above, it’s never too late to change. If you haven’t alienated editors and agents with your foolish behavior, so much the better.

Be honest with yourself. If you recognize yourself in the foolish description, resolve to change. Choose humility and hard work instead of arrogance and laziness. You’ll endear yourself to other writers as well as agents and editors. And you’ll prepare yourself for a long and satisfying writing career.

Be a hero.

July 17, 2009

“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.”

              (Charles Spurgeon)

This is a tough time to begin a writing career. It’s a tough time to continue writing! I haven’t heard any really good publishing news from my writer friends for a long time. I sense discouragement. I even heard one long-time writer say he was going to give up if he didn’t sell another book soon.

How Do I Keep On Keeping On?

“You will never get where you want to be in life without being willing to sacrifice and push through the obstacles and adversities that stand in your way,” says Joyce Meyer in her new book, Never Give Up!: Relentless Determination to Overcome Life’s Challenges. “Your obstacle may be an attitude, a set of circumstances, a relationship, an issue from your past, a thought or mind-set, a feeling, or a bad habit.”

What obstacle is standing in your way to getting published during this difficult time? Lack of training so you can bring your writing up another level? You have choices ranging from expensive MFA programs to free online writing courses and e-books. Are you impatient, expecting fast results in an instant gratification society? You may have to find ways to work on patience–and write while you’re waiting. Or is the obstacle pushing against you fear of failure, writer’s block, or some other writer malady that keeps you from producing? You have to find ways to push back–and keep pushing!

Telling It Straight

There isn’t an easy way to have the writing life of your dreams. It takes hard work. No matter how enjoyable it is, it’s also hard. And until you take consistent action steps–make real lifestyle changes–nothing much will change for you. Your writing dream will remain just that: a dream.

“Do you want to be in the same situation this time next year?” Joyce asks. “Or do you want something different? If you want to have something different, then you’ll have to pay the price on this end to have what you want on that end. You will have to spend some of this year moving toward your goals for next year.”

And you’ll have to keep pressing on when you can’t see any progress, when you get rejection slips, and when you get no answer back at all. (The “no answer” answer is becoming very common, by the way, in case it’s happening to you too.)

What’s It Gonna Be?

If you love to write–if you’ve dreamed of being a writer–then don’t give up on your dreams. I know it’s a really tough time to be a writer, whether you’re a beginner, a midlist author, or a full-time writer of many years. “You simply have to choose which kind of pain you want–the pain of pressing through or the pain of giving up,” says Joyce. ”I’m convinced there is no worse pain than an unfulfilled, dissatisfied life.”

If you know, in your heart of hearts, that you were meant to be a writer and you want to be a writer, then please don’t give up. The publishing industry has seen hard times before–and probably will again. That’s no reason to quit.

So fall back. Regroup. Plot your course of action to tackle your writing challenges. When the going gets tough, the tough get going…right?

May 13, 2009

For the next few months, I’m going to pursue a different kind of writing goal. I have never done this, so I have no idea if it will come to anything or not. For me, writing (and life) has always been serious business. I am, however, burned out on “serious.” I want writing to be FUN again.

Jumping the Tracks

For the next weeks and months, I’m going to ask myself at the end of the day just one question. It won’t be my usual “How many hours did I write today?” or “How many pages did I write today?” No. I’m going to ask myself, “Did I have FUN writing today?”

I’m tired of To Do lists, written goals to meet, and mile-long checklists. I’ve organized the fun out of the writing, and I want to find ways to recapture it. I’d love YOUR input too, so please leave comments. How do YOU make writing fun? (Or how about an even bigger challenge: how do you make marketing fun?)

The Sky’s the Limit!

I’ve been brainstorming ideas for making the writing fun again.

• write in short, fast spurts (and take breaks between bursts)
• be liberal with rewards for every twenty minutes I write
• write outside in the swing or by the pond
• listen to music while writing (like my favorite Joshua Bell CD)
• write first thing in the morning, no matter what else is on my plate that day

As you can see, my brainstorming didn’t go very far. I am sadly deficient in the fun department some days, but I’d like to get better! I remember, in the beginning before writing was my career, that it was just plain fun. I’d like to recapture that. I hope you’ll share YOUR rituals for keeping your writing fun.

The more fun we have, the more we’ll write. And the more we write, the better we get. And the better we get, the more fun we’ll have.

Now that is MY kind of vicious circle!

May 6, 2009

We don’t like to talk about quitting or giving up on our dreams. But let’s be honest. Will every wannabe writer eventually land big contracts,  snag a well-known NY agent, and be sent on ten-city book tours? No.

Maybe your dreams are more modest, but you’ve worked at breaking into publishing for years. Should you continue the struggle? For how long? How do you know when to quit?

Asking the Wrong Question

I came across an excellent discussion from a blog post that is several years old, but the advice is timeless. Called “When to Quit,” it’s a lengthy article by Scott Young on this subject. I hope you’ll read it to the end.

One factor the article said to consider was how you feel on a day-to-day basis as you pursue your dream. How is the process affecting your life, your character, your growth? “So if you are pursuing your dream and you don’t think you are going to make it, the question of whether or not to quit doesn’t depend on your chance of success. The real question is whether pursuing this dream is causing you to grow. Does this path fill you with passion and enthusiasm? Do you feel alive?”

You may not agree with all his views, but I guarantee that the article will make you think–even if you have no intention of quitting. It might lead you to make a course correction however. And it will make you evaluate why you’re pursuing your particular dream–and that’s always a good thing!

April 24, 2009

I’ve been reading a book on how fear affects writing (and art-making of all kinds). Fear is what holds most of us back from being the writers we dream of being–and probably could be.

Art & Fear suggests that these fears fall into two main categories: (1) fears about yourself, and (2) fears of how others will receive your work.

The fears about yourself prevent you from doing your best work. Fears about your reception by others prevent you from doing your own work.

The Great Pretender  (or fears about self)

When you doubt your own abilities, you feel like a fake, an impostor. You feel like your best work was an accident, a happy fluke that you can’t seem to duplicate. It feels as if you’re going through the motions of being a writer–typing, reading how-to books and magazines, attending conferences–but you suspect that you don’t really know what you’re doing. (And we wrongly assume that all those other writers DO know what they’re doing.)

You also suspect you don’t have any real talent. After all, talented people perform their art with ease. Writers might start out that way, but inevitably you reach a point (if you’re truly working) where it definitely is NOT easy! You take that as a sign that you don’t really have enough talent to be a writer after all. (Truth: talent is a gift, and most people have enough talent. Probably 95% of success is what you do with it–and for writers, that means showing up at the page consistently.)

These fears WILL keep you from doing your best work.

Whose Priorities Count? (or fears about others)

The best writing is not produced by committee. It’s produced when a writer who is passionate about an idea is left alone to create. At these times we aren’t even thinking about others.

Problems arise when we confuse others’ priorities with our own. In our heads, we hear these critical voices. (Some come from our pasts, some from current writing friends, some from what we read in magazines and publishing journals.) Since published writers depend on reviews for sales, what others think has to matter at some point. However, when others’ opinions–how they think we should write–influences you too much and too soon in the process, you stop writing what you truly love and start writing what “they” have said is better or more salable.

Wanting to be understood is a basic need, and writers want others to understand their stories. They don’t want to be booed off the stage for being too different. (We all learned at an early age the dangers of being considered different or weird.) So the inner war continues with writers: can I find the courage to be true to what I need to write, or will I buckle to others’ opinions so I have a better chance of being received well? Buckling to fears of being misunderstood makes you dependent on your readers or audience.

These fears WILL keep you from doing your own work.

Ponder This…

Over the weekend, when you’re out walking or weeding your flower bed or riding your bike, give these two questions some thought:

What fears do you have about yourself that prevent you from doing your BEST work?

What fears about your reception by others prevents you from doing your OWN work?

And if you’re REALLY brave, leave a comment about one (or both). It will give me ideas for future topics!

January 23, 2009

“I want to be my own boss.” That statement is often heard by people who want to quit their day jobs and work at home. As writers, we love the idea of no one telling us what to do. We love being able to schedule our work and our days. It’s a wonderful system–but only if you have a wonderful boss.

Are you the kind of boss you’d like to work for? Most days I am, but it’s taken years to get to this point. Over the years I’ve been many kinds of bosses–some of them good, some destructive. Which kind are you?

The Coach Boss

In my early years of writing, back when it was all new to me, my boss was a real coach. Enthusiastic, fun, excited, non-restrictive. She wanted me to explore all my writing and publishing options, try various topics and formats just to see if I liked them, and she never harped about the bottom line. She was fun to work for–and my work showed it (in terms of both quantity and quality) despite being surrounded by babies and toddlers at the time.

The Authoritarian Boss

I worked for this boss next. He held a whip over my head, which he cracked often (like if I slowed down or considered taking a sick day.) To be honest, this boss got a LOT of work out of me. I dragged myself to his office no matter how sick I was. Days off were frowned on, so I rarely took one. It wasn’t worth it anyway. I felt his condemning glare no matter where I tried to hide from him. It was easier to give in and work nonstop than fight him. After all, there were bills to pay! I knew the quality of my writing was going down, but this boss didn’t seem to notice or care. Quantity was everything to him.

The Paranoid Boss

This boss believed in lots of networking, and at first, I liked his ideas. I met other writers, read their work, saw their websites and blogs and podcasts and newsletters and UTube videos and book trailers. Unfortunately, my boss couldn’t let me enjoy all the new things I was seeing. He started breathing down my neck, changing orders every half hour. “We’re behind the times!” he’d whisper in my hear. “Create a newsletter!” I’d start that project, but soon he said, “Yours isn’t as good as the competition’s! Drop that and create a teleseminar instead!” No matter how many projects I juggled, this boss let me know it was never good enough. My job was always in jeopardy. I took out stock in an antacid company.

The Dream Boss

While I was in the hospital recovering from working for the paranoid boss, a wonderful thing happened. My dream boss visited one day with a bouquet of daffodils and box of chocolates–and offered me a job. I’ve been working for this boss ever since, and I hope she lives forever! She gives me one project to do at a time. “Multi-tasking is another name for fragmented,” she informed me. I now write for two hours before I’m required to do anything else. My boss doesn’t compare my work to anyone else’s. She loves quality, but she doesn’t measure quality by the size of the advance. She’s understanding about sick days, yet she makes sure I show up for work most of the time because she knows I’m happier that way.

You’re the Boss

Writers are in the enviable position of being their own bosses. Are you the kind of boss you’d like to work for? If not, you have the power to change that. Starting today, be your ideal boss. List the traits of your perfect boss, the kind of treatment you’d love to receive. Then turn around and give yourself that treatment. You’ll be a happier, more productive employee!

January 2, 2009

I once had an apartment with one large hall closet. At first it was roomy and organized. Over the two years I lived there, it grew more and more crowded and chaotic as I stuffed more and more junk into it. One day, I realized I couldn’t jam one more thing in there and still close the door. Something was going to have to come OUT before more would go IN.

Time is Like a Closet

I’ve been talking about a self-study program I’m undertaking for 2009, and it will require around four hours per day if I do everything I want to do. Given the fact that I NEVER had four free hours in a day during 2008, where’s that time going to come from?

One thing I love to do on January 1 is change calendars: wall calendars in kitchen and office, desk calendars (daily and monthly) in my office, and pocket calendars for my purse. The squares of the 2009 calendar pages are virtually pristine and pure. An occasional appointment already made dots a square or two, but that’s all.

The calendars I pitched yesterday had perhaps one or two clean white squares per month with nothing scheduled. Just looking at them made me feel tired. I knew from experience, though, that the clean 2009 calendar would look just as jam-packed as the old 2008 calendar if I didn’t take steps NOW to prevent it.

Create a NOT “To Do” List Now

To make time for some new things I want to do in 2009, I had to look at the calendar and find the time wasters. Some events are important to me and will stay on the my 2009 schedule: our weekly potluck supper with my grown kids and grandkids, teaching Sunday school at the Air Force base to basic trainees, my weekly afternoon critique group, my monthly children’s book club discussion group, and my blogging 3X/week. They feed my goals of a strong extended family, volunteer service, and growth as a writer and teacher.

However, I noticed a LOT of stuff on my calendar that could easily go. (Well, easily in the sense that I wouldn’t miss it. Difficult in the sense that it would mean saying “no” more often–and people pleasers hate that.)

My Personal “Not To Do” List

I know the Internet eats up a lot of time for me. For 2009 I’ve decided that in the morning, I will post my MWF blog and get off. No other Internet before noon–after I’ve studied. Reading other people’s blogs, posting on Twitter and Facebook, and answering email can wait till later in the day.

No more “come and buy something” parties. I don’t like parties selling jewelry, home interior, clothing, pots and pans, etc. I am also going to limit how many invitations I accept to showers. At my age, every woman is having grandkids and giving baby showers for friends having new grandkids. I rarely know their kids. The shower only appears to take two hours, but by the time you’ve bought and wrapped a gift, gotten yourself ready, and driven to and from in heavy city traffic, it kills about eight hours. A gift card in the mail would be fine most of the time. (Not sure I’ll ever get up the guts to RSVP with, “Hey, I’ve never even met your kid, and I barely even know you, so I won’t be coming or sending a gift.”) Sounds very Scroogey, I know.

I will no longer clean the house before the every-other-month visit by the Orkin bug man.

I won’t attend more than one social function per weekend, no matter how much I love the people. Social functions wear me out, keep me up too late to get a good night’s sleep, and because talking aggravates my TMJ, it results in headaches. I was astounded how many things were on the calendar that I didn’t enjoy. (Example: I hate football, so why am I going to Super Bowl parties?)

I will stop scheduling necessary doctor and dentist appointments in the middle of my work day.

Your Assignment

Your task, if you decide to accept it, is to look at your old 2008 calendar and make a list of things you no longer want to do. Prune away the events, committees, and jobs that have become time wasters keeping you from fulfilling your own higher priority goals and commitments. Make a list, and keep it near your phone. Practice saying, “Thank you for asking me (or inviting me), but I’m afraid I will have to say NO at this time.” End of discussion.

You can do it! I can do it! Having a “NOT To Do” list is the only way we’ll be able to have a “To Do” list that is effective.

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