January 11, 2013

I’ve been reading a book on how fear affects writing (and art-making of all kinds). Fear is what holds many (even most) of us back from being the writers we dream of being–and probably could be.

Art & Fear suggests that these fears fall into two main categories: (1) fears about yourself, and (2) fears of how others will receive your work.

The fears about yourself prevent you from doing your best work. Fears about your reception by others prevent you from doing your own work.

The Great Pretender (or fears about self)

When you doubt your own abilities, you feel like a fake, an impostor. You feel like your best work was an accident, a happy fluke that you can’t seem to duplicate. It feels as if you’re going through the motions of being a writer–typing, reading how-to books and magazines, attending conferences–but you suspect that you don’t really know what you’re doing. (And we wrongly assume that all those other writers DO know what they’re doing.)

You also suspect you don’t have any real talent. After all, talented people perform their art with ease. Writers might start out that way, but inevitably you reach a point (if you’re truly working) where it definitely is NOT easy! You take that as a sign that you don’t really have enough talent to be a writer after all. (Truth: talent is a gift, and most people have enough talent. Probably 95% of success is what you do with it–and for writers, that means showing up at the page consistently.)

These fears WILL keep you from doing your best work.

Whose Priorities Count? (or fears about others)

The best writing is not produced by committee. It’s produced when a writer who is passionate about an idea is left alone to create. At these times we aren’t even thinking about others.

Problems arise when we confuse others’ priorities with our own. In our heads, we hear these critical voices. (Some come from our pasts, some from current writing friends, some from what we read in magazines and publishing journals.) Since published writers depend on reviews for sales, what others think has to matter at some point. However, when others’ opinions–how they think we should write–influences you too much and too soon in the process, you stop writing what you truly love and start writing what “they” have said is better or more salable.

Wanting to be understood is a basic need, and writers want others to understand their stories. They don’t want to be booed off the stage for being too different. (We all learned at an early age the dangers of being considered different or weird.) So the inner war continues with writers: can I find the courage to be true to what I need to write, or will I buckle to others’ opinions so I have a better chance of being received well? Buckling to fears of being misunderstood makes you dependent on your readers or audience.

These fears WILL keep you from doing your own work.

Ponder This…

This coming week, when you’re out scooping snow or taking a walk, give these two questions some thought:

What fears do you have about yourself that prevent you from doing your BEST work?

What fears about your reception by others prevents you from doing your OWN work?

And if you’re REALLY brave, leave a comment about one (or both). It will give me ideas for future topics!

6 Comments »

1. 

   I think BOTH of these fears are tying me down. I don’t believe in myself and my writing, to the point that I don’t even know if I HAVE anything worth writing about, and I’m really out of practice now and getting back into practice, well, I don’t even know where to begin. From outside, there are two factions– one ties back into the “what do I have worth writing,” when I keep hearing about how there need to be more minority voices and how the white middle-class bookworm girl is Overdone and unnecessary anymore, I think, Well, I am nothing special, I have nothing new to say, why should I bother?– the other is much more practical and personal– my husband isn’t an artist, he’s flat-out said he doesn’t understand the artistic mindset, and while he certainly doesn’t DIScourage me from writing and will occasionally ask “Have you been writing anything lately?” he doesn’t seem to get it, and he’ll refer to the wreck of a house (does he just clean it himself? No) or otherwise generally comment that hobbies need to be put aside for the day-to-dayness of life, and my mother-in-law is all that but a million times WORSE. She wouldn’t mind if I was a writer, as long as I was making money on everything I do right away, and also not slacking off in any other area of life. And because I don’t believe in myself, and don’t know what to write to begin with, I can’t hold fast and say “No, it’s more than a hobby, it’s something I really need to take seriously and be given a little time to myself for,” because I don’t know what I’d do with that time, anyway.

   I mean, I guess I haven’t entirely given up, because I still read your blog, for instance (even though I DID stop renewing my SCBWI membership. I’ll get back to it if I ever have USE for it again). I’ve been meaning to sort myself out, New Years Resolution-style, see what new habits and practices I can start up, what new angles of creativity I can take (scriptwriting and vlogging are two things I’ve been flirting with lately), what goals I can set and actually work toward– but I haven’t even gotten myself to do THAT yet. I printed out all your blog posts on making changes, but can’t quite get past the first step. This comment has been very depressing. But, like I said… at least I’m still reading these blogs.

   Comment by rockinlibrarian — January 11, 2013 @ 7:59 pm

2. 

   Rockinlibrarian, it’s been many years since I was in your EXACT same situation…your description was just uncanny in its similarities. Keep going. Once you get past the need for spousal support or in-law support, it will be much easier. Very few writers actually have much support at home, at least in the beginning years–I sure didn’t. Please don’t let that stop you. It is your life and they are your dreams. No one can take them from you if you don’t let them. Honest.

   Comment by Kristi Holl — January 11, 2013 @ 9:06 pm

3. 

   Oh, boy, I’ll try to be brave like Rockinlibrarian.
   I fear that anything I have to say has already been said, and much better, that what I want to say will never be good enough. To be stuck in mediocrity. I am closing my eyes at the word as I type it. I want to be brilliant, to reflect His glory. I don’t worry so much about what others think … my whole life I’ve been thought of as wierd or different, and although it was hurtful at the time, it has made me listen to my inner voice more carefully.

   Comment by Vijaya — January 12, 2013 @ 4:55 pm

4. 

   Vijaya, I fear being stuck in “midlist land” which used to be fine (your books sold slowly but surely forever). Now it seems to be considered mediocre, as you mentioned.

   I loved what you said about being thought of as different all your life–and so it taught you to listen to your inner voice. What a valuable, valuable lesson to come from that!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — January 12, 2013 @ 7:35 pm

5. 

   Despite being in the process of writing my 13th book, despite loads of positive feedback from readers, and despite loads of encouragement from family and friends, I still suffer with what I call George McFly syndrome (“What if they think I’m no good? I just can’t take that kind of rejection!”).

   On a related note, one of my books deals with overcoming fear and the potential dangers of mollycoddling in the context of a treasure hunt adventure. Check out Uncle Flynn (available as a free download from places like Smashwords) or print copies can be bought from Lulu.com. I think you might like it.

   Comment by Simon Dillon — January 14, 2013 @ 8:49 am

6. 

   Simon, you hit on a good point here. We don’t talk about it much, but I was at least on my 30th published book and I was STILL afraid that people would find out I was a fraud, and the books were a fluke. I think it’s neat that you took one of those themes to use in a novel! You are NOT alone!

   On a totally non-related subject…I see that you grew up in Oxford! I am envious. I’ve been there twice, and we visited Lewis’ home the last time and where he taught, and the Eagle and the Child… What a rich heritage you have!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — January 14, 2013 @ 9:14 pm

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