October 24, 2011

Over the weekend I spoke with a writer dealing with some worries that are daily robbing her of her hours of creative time. It reminded me of an earlier post on Fighting to Focus.

Where’s Your Focus?

From studies I’ve read, when you’re going through a crisis (yours or someone else’s), there is a single-minded focus that will help you regain your peace. And there’s a (more common) split focus that won’t help you at all. In all likelihood, it will make it worse. If your goal is to keep hold of your creative hours when problems hit, then staying calm is paramount.

Studies were done on people facing severe problems ranging from the terminal illness of a child to divorce (yours or someone else’s). The people under strain who re-gained and maintained their peace and continued to be productive did one thing very differently from those who fought desperately to be peaceful, but failed. This is a truth that can also apply to even the simplest worrisome problems you’re facing–worries that are stealing your writing time.

A Healthy Single Focus

The people who regained their peace and rode out the storm were those who had one focus: regaining their peace of mind. Once they did that, they were able to offer comfort and aid, but without worrying about the outcome of their help. And they could then focus on their own work.

A Split Focus

The people who continued to worry and obsess and eventually get sick had a split focus: they tried to regain their calm mind too, but they also tried to control some aspect of the outcome. They were trying to control another person or an event that was beyond their control. There is nothing quite so crazy-making as trying to control something outside your control.

Regaining Your Focus

The quickest way to stop worrying is to give up trying to control something you have no control over. Instead, pour all that wasted energy into regaining a calm mind. I use a variety of things: prayer, surrender, running, a bike ride, meditation, talking to a trusted friend, and watching uplifting movies. Find what combination works for you, and make that your single focus.

Get calm. Give your aid, if it’s healthy to do so. Then get on with your life.

If you’re consistent with this, you’ll find your emotions coming down out of the rafters and settling in nicely. And then you heave a sigh of relief, rest a moment or two, and head to your writing room.

Creativity awaits!

4 Comments »

1. 

   I find this to be totally true. It’s like a “free rent in your head thing”, and although worrying about what-if, what-if may be natural, it does really amazing things when you weed out what’s yours, and what is, as you point out, something beyond your control or hinging on something else – ESPECIALLY if you have had prior doubts already – it brings them ALL smashed up at once. (added fuel and anxiety). There are a few times when things were crunched, and I let it go, after weeding out what, etc, and experienced almost the most amazing enlightenment – truly right there with what will be will be, even if “it’s agin me!” Once you have hit that a couple times, it gets much easier as you know what CAN be there, and you can recognize it. I am not always spot-on with this, (LOL!) but it gets easier when you actually confront your “truth” of the matter, what you own, and what you don’t! And turn to create with a lighter heart & calmer space.

   Comment by jen — October 25, 2011 @ 1:04 am

2. 

   Jen, I hear you! I think learning appropriate boundaries (what’s yours and what’s not, including what’s not yours to worry about) is a life-long process. But at least we’re learning to recognize when we’ve been around this mountain before and choosing another direction. Confronting your own truth is the sticky part–an acquired taste! But, oh, so profitable in the long run!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — October 25, 2011 @ 5:59 am

3. 

   I find that I am trying to do too much right now — getting a household together, getting all the little things taken care of, saps my creativity. I’ve been having a very hard time working on my novel, but I don’t want to wait until *everything* is in order because that will take months and I don’t want to be out of touch with my book. So, yeah, I definitley have a split focus and I can say it’s not the best way to write a book.

   Comment by Vijaya — October 25, 2011 @ 6:08 am

4. 

   Vijaya, moving and resettling family members is one of the most disruptive things in a writing life. I remember 32 years ago when taking the ICL course and moving with our three kids to the farm that I was afraid of that disconnect happening. So I packed my ICL binder and assignments in the box of diapers (on top of them) because I KNEW I’d unpack the diapers! Many of those days I couldn’t do more than read a page or two of that manual, but I clung to it for dear life!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — October 25, 2011 @ 10:02 am

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