October 12, 2011

“Life is difficult,” wrote M. Scott Peck in his famous book The Road Less Traveled. “This … is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it… Once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

I’d like to amend Peck’s quote to say that “the writing life is difficult.” And once that truth is accepted, “the fact that it is difficult no longer matters.”

The Fantasy

I imagine we all start out on the writing journey with a fantasy of what the writing life will be like. I know I did thirty years ago–and it’s been a fantasy that I clung to tenaciously for far too many years.

My own fantasy involved uninterrupted hours every day to write (after first journaling and then doing some creative writing exercises to ensure the writing would simply “flow”.) My fantasy included the books selling themselves without my help. I expected to reach a time when I’d never have to write anything without having a (lucrative) contract in hand. I also dreamed of writing by longhand in the fragrant garden of a thatched-roof English cottage. Sad to say, the cottage part was the only thing I recognized as pure fantasy. I figured everything else was just a matter of time.

Fast forward thirty years and forty published books later…

I love my office in Texas, but it’s a far cry from a thatched-roof cottage. And unless you write from Walden’s Pond, I don’t see how anyone manages to have uninterrupted hours every day to write. Juggling my roles as wife, mother, Nana, daughter, sister, friend, writer and ministry leader means fighting for writing time daily. Each role, at one time or another, has meant dealing with loss, conflict, disappointment, and/or illness-big time and energy eaters. And because of the changes within the publishing industry–in large part due to the economy and online social marketing demands–there’s no such thing anymore as an author who doesn’t help market their work.

It No Longer Matters

So where’s the silver lining around this black cloud? Simply this. Clinging to my fantasy life of a writer meant that every time reality intruded, I was disappointed or shocked or disillusioned–and tempted to quit. Lots of angst and wasted energy. As long as I was convinced that the writing life could be simple and require little work, I was irritated with reality. I made silent demands that this imperfect writing life go away!

• Truth #1: The writing life will always be difficult.
• Truth #2: It doesn’t really matter.
• Truth #3: All things worth having (family, good health, writing life) are difficult sometimes.
• Truth #4: We can do difficult things!

Accept Reality

Don’t miss the key point of the blog today. This is not a “downer” message. It’s a truth message–which will set you free. For me, it’s like having kids. Raising a family was the most difficult, time-consuming, challenging thing I’ve done in the last thirty-five years. It has also been the most rewarding, most fun, most gratifying thing I’ve ever done. It’s the same with the writing life. It’s been difficult, but I can’t imagine a career more rewarding than this. After many years, it does get easier--but I would never say it’s easy.

It’s okay to give up the fantasy that someday your writing life will be easy and smooth and not require you to grow or struggle anymore. You really don’t need the fantasy to keep you moving forward. “The fact that it is difficult no longer matters.”

That being the case, what fantasy about the writing life do you suspect you need to let go of?

10 Comments »

1. 

   Great post Kristi. we are a culture that wants everything to be handed on a silver platter and the slightest bit of effort makes us groan. Life is hard, and we are meant to work hard.

   I need to let go of the idea of writing beautifully and embrace revisions as the path to greater clarity. Notice I didn’t say perfection (it’s what I wanted to say, but it’s impossible to achieve).

   I read a post that expands upon this even more: http://blog.adw.org/2011/10/five-hard-truths-that-will-set-you-free-2/

   Comment by Vijaya — October 12, 2011 @ 11:24 am

2. 

   Vijaya, thanks for that great link! Loved it. And I loved what you said here: “I need to let go of the idea of writing beautifully and embrace revisions as the path to greater clarity.” I have to remind myself of that all the time. Giving ourselves permission to write awful first drafts is the only way to move forward. Not to perfection, as you said, but to clarity!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — October 12, 2011 @ 1:54 pm

3. 

   Hello,
   The fantasy I need to let go of is writing the next “Great Canadian Novel”.
   I need to focus on writing & completing the projects I have rather than dreaming of the “Great Canadian Novel”. If I do actually get there it should come from hard work not dreaming about it.
   Cheers, Ally

   Comment by Ally M — October 12, 2011 @ 6:11 pm

4. 

   Ally, I’m with you on this one! Dreaming about it is good—as long as it’s just a first step. I have to convince myself that daily bits of working toward that end really do matter. Some days it doesn’t feel like any progress in that direction whatsoever!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — October 12, 2011 @ 7:05 pm

5. 

   I think I need to let go of the fantasy that I will just sit down and terrific stories and poems will flow out on their own. Without angst, without worrying about writing badly, and with immediate inspiration! Writing is hard work most of the time, and it’s brilliantly easy – some of the time. I’ve learned that however I feel, if I work hard at writing, I can’t tell the difference later between the inspired bits and the bits I wrote through gritted teeth.
   But I still cling to the “easy” fantasy. Yes, I will try to let it go!

   Comment by Sherryl — October 12, 2011 @ 8:36 pm

6. 

   Sherryl, I cling to the easy fantasy too. I still keep thinking that if I had an ideal environment (no interruptions, good sleep, no health issues) that the writing would flow like turning on a faucet. I suspect that, even with all the right conditions, it would still be hard. And you’re right—some of the books I wrote under the greatest duress turned out the best and went into more printings than any others!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — October 12, 2011 @ 9:56 pm

7. 

   Dear Kristi,

   OK, first, it’s going to take you a while I am sure to remember me. I was one of your ICL basic course students years ago (ahem, a bunch of years ago, let’s just say). You were such an amazing mentor to me — I was lucky to have you as my first real writing teacher. At the end of the course you were extremely enthusiastic about the then beginning of my YA historical novel manuscript. While I can’t brag to you today that it’s published or under a contract, I CAN tell you that I am still writing, still letting the page teach me new things every single day, and that is — and should be — the foundation of any writing life, I think — not dreams of success. Of course I still dream, like most other people. My biggest fantasy — and maybe one I need to let go of — is imagining THAT PHONE CALL. Even as I write the new stuff, sometimes, in the midst of my life, I will be gripped by this sudden need: waaah, I wanna hear the phone call NOW. I think that’s the thing I need to really let go of. I AM doing much better with this, lately

   Comment by Katia Raina — October 13, 2011 @ 5:36 am

8. 

   Katia, I DO remember you! And thank you for the kind words! My own ICL teacher was my first mentor, and I wouldn’t have continued to write without her. You have one of those cool names that just SOUNDS like a writer! I love your blog, by the way. While I’m glad that you continue to write while you wait for that phone call, I rather hope you won’t give up on it really. Just the NOW part.

   Comment by Kristi Holl — October 14, 2011 @ 12:54 am

9. 

   When I joined ICL, I did it after giving myself permission. I gave myself permission to write horribly. My own worst enemy has always been my inner editor, my personal critic. Only by giving yourself permission to make mistakes can you truly grow as a writer.

   The Fantasy I have to give up on is the Stephen King sized cheque I will receive as an advance when my “brilliant” first novel is finally accepted for publication.

   Comment by Robert Lee — October 20, 2011 @ 11:01 am

10. 

    Robert, I have to remind myself of that EVERY TIME I start another project. Permission to write horrible drafts is critical to getting words on the page, I think. I usually have to promise myself that I NEVER have to show this story to ANYBODY if I don’t want to. That helps with the inner critic issue too. Thanks for your comment!

    Comment by Kristi Holl — October 20, 2011 @ 4:49 pm

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