September 12, 2011

Writers are opinionated people.

Our brains never seem to stop. We criticize because we “know” how things and people should be. This “critical editor component” of our personality is absolutely invaluable to the editing and revision process. If you can’t spot what’s wrong with a manuscript, you can’t fix it.

However, this same critical ability can cause writers to actually lose focus, allowing their writing hours to slip away with little or no work done.

Think About It

Many of us go through our daily lives with our internal critic or editor in charge. We don’t see the person right in front of us as he or she is (which may be perfectly fine.) Instead, that person reminds us of an ex-spouse, and we “see” characteristics that aren’t there. Stress!

Conversely, we think the person in front of us is “supposed” to be kind and supportive (our inner definition of parent/spouse/child/sibling). And yet many such relationships are anything but, leaving us hurt and upset because they should be supportive. More stress! Life rarely satisfies a person who lets the “shoulds” run his life.

Do we spend our time “shoulding”? We don’t see a child who is happily singing at the top of her voice. (That child should be more quiet in the store!) We don’t see an interesting shade of purple hair. (That teenager should resemble a miniature adult instead.) We don’t see the predator or user sometimes either–because trusted family members shouldn’t be such things. Our “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” color everything we observe.

Change Your Perspective

Our inner editor sometimes keeps us from seeing what’s in front of us. We are constantly “revising” the facts. So what’s the problem with that? You can’t accept–and get peace about–what you can’t honestly see or face. You stay stirred up–a condition rarely suited to being creative. Sometimes the simplest solutions evade us because we’re all riled up inside.

It reminds me of a story (you may also be familiar with) about “The River and the Lion: After the great rains, the lion was faced with crossing the river that had encircled him. Swimming was not in his nature, but it was either cross or die. The lion roared and charged at the river, almost drowning before he retreated. Many more times he attacked the water, and each time he failed to cross. Exhausted, the lion lay down, and in his quietness he heard the river say, “Never fight what isn’t here.”

Cautiously, the lion looked up and asked, “What isn’t here?”

“Your enemy isn’t here,” answered the river. “Just as you are a lion, I am merely a river.”

Now the lion sat very still and studied the ways of the river. After a while, he walked to where a certain current brushed against the shore, and stepping in, floated to the other side.

Control What You Can: Yourself

We also can’t gain peace of mind and the ability to focus unless we’re willing to give up trying to control everyone and everything in our environment. We spend entire days fuming and fretting over situations or people we can’t change or control, wasting precious writing and study time.

We need to save our judging skills for revision time and critiquing. We need to save our control freak behaviors for finagling with our characters’ actions. And you may as well give up having to convince people you’re right, while you’re at it. Letting go of those three things (judging, controlling, being right) will give you more inner peace faster than hours of yoga and meditation and mind-altering substances.

Start Right Here, Right Now

Think about something that is currently keeping your mind in knots to the point that you can barely write. I will bet that you are judging someone’s behavior, or trying to figure out how to control a situation, or having mental conversations in which you prove to that stubborn person how right you are. (I know this from personal experience in case you think I’ve been reading your mail.)

Letting go of criticism and control is freedom. For the writer, it means hours and hours are freed up for reading and writing. Just for today, let grown people and situations be what they are. Let them work on solutions for their own problems–or not. Turn all that “should” energy on your own work.

At the end of day, you’ll have something great to show for it!

4 Comments »

1. 

   I began to get a handle on my others/chaos when I ran across Julia Cameron’s morning pages. I think for the first six weeks – maybe longer, I obliterated page after page with utter nonsense and venting – but at least knew I was moving pen on paper, and it would lead somewhere. I did get the concept, as I put it, of mental cholesterol blockage, and random surface chatter of surpressed ideas. I couldn’t even write deeply – but since she hit me with the idea of just spewing whatever without getting graded, I took that to heart – because I DID have some kind of pre-conceived notions there! (huh? but I KNOW better. (yeah, right LOL!)
   (The high point was REALIZING it!) LOL! The other book that made me laugh with glee, was Joel Saltzman’s “If You Can Talk, You Can Write.”
   Prior to these books, I hadn’t really written sweepingly, in a long time. Sure, I can always zone in one my lyrical planet – can’t live without having universes to bat around – but my secret loss was *Writing a STORY*. (sentences, – paragraphs.) It seemed like I was on some kind of minimalist track. I was getting better at what I did, in spades – but my area of genre/styles had really shrunk. I was still bemoaning the loss of when I used to sit down and dash out something story-wise, daily. (decades earlier.) And so I started murdering paper and venting about everything/everyone else – because I really got the idea that it was perhaps a great way to lay things to rest – get it out of my head, and that it was really ok to be selfish and snarky to the max, because, well, soonest started, soonest done. (of course, I edited my vents, but that got boring really quickly.) I figured I would run out of vents. It was a very healing process – AND out of nowhere little bits of storylines began emerging! – which of course I murdered forthwith, going through the valley of the should-be-perfect-inner editor demons. That’s when I found Talk/Write in a thrift store. And found even MORE pre-conceived fixed ideas. (Duh?) If authorial fixed ideas manifested as medical stress, I should have been in my grave, or a quadriplegic, years before. It took that to make me realize I, myself, had QUARANTINED myself! – because I had stopped writing 50%. It was lethal. I was already half in a coma. Thank the powers that be that something kicked me in the head! – the dying gurgle -
   So you are absolutely correct at pointing out see the truth and confront and say it! (If the windmills of your mind haven’t killed you yet, you are safe as long as you don’t leave your notebook out! – that, of course will get you landed in the funny farm. If so, take your notebook and enjoy!) And if it starts as only shallow skimming, petty yaya – the truth of that is, be flagrantly shallow knowingly! – for as long as it takes to regain the depths – because you will, by acknowledging that truth. You also calm down alot! LOL!
   (It comes to you – who the **** are you trying to impress, when there is only you?) Saltzman’s book jumped into my hands exactly when I needed to get through the wall of murdering gossomer story cobwebs. I realized that if I am not in my own voice, the story or whatever I am doing, will bog and not move. (This applies to life!) Now I look there first! I look for where I started writing for somebody else, or as somebody else! I am so glad to have a basic “1st thing to troubleshoot” to start fixing things – because it works EVERYTIME! Some errant “other” pre-conceived notion = oopsie-off-the-path!
   Truth is amazing stuff, especially when you are fictionalizing! (Sometimes though, I have to wallow in the adventure of “Look what a mess I have, and what I learned getting out of it!” Gee- I could write a book! LOL!

   Comment by jen — September 13, 2011 @ 4:40 am

2. 

   Jen, thanks for a terrific post! You got your writing done for the day right there! I spewed via “morning pages” for years before I started seeing some patterns and making some changes. They are the best “creative recovery” tool I’ve ever come across. I love the Talk/Write book too–I ought to get it out and read it again.

   Comment by Kristi Holl — September 14, 2011 @ 2:47 pm

3. 

   I honestly wish that there were even MORE writer/author/semi-bio tip books! I suck them up! It needs to be a genre with a capital G for Writers, all it’s own. Newbies, closet writers, published and refined. I get totally wrapped up in their thought processes and viewpoints. I love biographies – gotta say my favorite are opera and composer bios, and writers! I haul them out every year, in cycles – sure – I should be writing, but when the cold winds are blowing especially, there is nothing like curling up in someone else’s den/head, having that cozy chat -

   Comment by jen — September 15, 2011 @ 3:23 am

4. 

   Jen, you are such a kindred soul! After thirty years of writing, I have collected so many shelves full of writing books–and my favorites are the ones you described. I love reading about other writers’ thinking and working processes. I bet there COULD be a separate genre for writers! It’s sure a big chunk of the self-help market!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — September 16, 2011 @ 6:39 am

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