June 27, 2011

You made it! This is the stage where you look around and can hardly believe it. You’re finally living your writing dream!

You have dreamed of this day for months–or decades. If you started down the road to success right after college when you didn’t have a family to support or attend to, you could well have cut the learning curve short. If you started when you had a young family (like I did), the stages probably took longer (since there are only so many hours in the day). If you began the journey while raising a family and handling a full-time day job, it might have taken ten years to reach this spot.

It doesn’t matter how long it took. You’re here–so celebrate and enjoy it! Before you set new and bigger goals, pause long enough to savor where you are.

Warning! The Dark Side of Success

Let yourself enjoy what you’ve worked so hard to attain. It’s been a long and sometimes difficult road. Don’t allow anyone or anything to interfere with the pleasure of what you’ve achieved.

Sometimes success takes you by surprise, and your successful career becomes overwhelming and distressing. My children were babies, toddlers and preschoolers when my books were first published. I was unprepared for the school invitations, I was scared to death when newspapers wanted interviews and photos, and I didn’t like traveling (driving in snow) and being away from my family for days at a time. At the time, it never occurred to me that I could say “no.” The whole thing spun out of control until I got too sick to continue. Keep success manageable! You’re the only one who can do that.

Setting Boundaries

Success attracts more of everything, so be prepared and think some of the issues through ahead of time. Yes, you’ll have more money, which is immensely helpful. But you’ll also have more business expenses, more calls, more e-mail, and more requests for your time (guest blog posts, interviews, Skype chats with book clubs or school groups, reviews). If you’re not careful about limiting what you say “yes” to, you’ll find yourself longing for the days when you just wrote and no one knew about you!

Never think that you must accept everything success brings simply because it has been offered. Decide ahead of time how much of your day or week you’re willing to give to these things, and then stick to it (for the sake of your family, your health and your sanity.)

When success hits and you wonder how to fit everything in, you may want to read a few good time management books, especially those written for writers. There’s no need to re-invent the wheel!

Friendship Changes

Your friends may change a bit after you are successful too. True friends (writers and non-writers both) will be happy for you, but there are some who will be jealous. If they don’t adjust their attitude, they may drop out of your life.

On the other hand, success as a writer will give you opportunities to meet other successful writers. Some of them will become lifelong friends, those truly kindred souls who speak your language and are as happy about your sales as they are about their own. Treasure these friendships.

Be grateful for your success. Not everyone in this country who would like to be a writer will survive all five stages of success. So be grateful that you have the ability and the freedom to do this. I sure am! I can’t imagine doing anything else.

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