April 11, 2011

“Crazymakers like drama,” says Julia Cameron in her classic book for writers, The Artist’s Way. “If they can swing it, they [the crazymakers] are the star. Everyone around them functions as supporting cast, picking up their cues, their entrances and exits, from the crazymaker’s (crazy) whims.”

Surprise!

You may have a quiet weekend of reading and writing planned, but then voila! A crazymaker shows up. It might be someone you thought was banned from your life for good. It might be someone no one else suspects is your crazymaker. They might rage and scream–or knife you in the back while smiling in the traditional passive-aggressive style.

“Whether they appear as your overbearing mother, your manic boss, your needy friend, or your stubborn spouse,” says Cameron, “the crazymakers in your life share certain destructive patterns that make them poisonous for any sustained creative work.”

Enough is Enough

Sometimes you get blind-sided by crazymaking behavior. It can be shocking and look ludicrous. It turns your schedule upside down, destroys any plans you might have, nearly always costs you time and/or money, is draining with its drama, and–if they’re really good–the crazymaker can blame you for the whole problem they created.

I’ve had more than my share of crazymakers to deal with in life. (I suppose everyone feels like that!) Anyway, it happened to me again recently, and I was tickled by my reaction. I recognized the game, called a spade a spade, and was astounded to see the problem go away. It didn’t cost me any sleep, and the crazymaker found someone else to harrass.

A Dance by Any Other Name…

Julia Cameron always said, “If you are involved in a tortured tango with a crazymaker, stop dancing to his/her tune.” Yes, that’s easier said than done–but it CAN be done! I was thrilled to see that if I stepped back and didn’t play the game, it stopped. And beyond that, I got some writing done!

Maybe there are some nut cases in your own life that need to be banished for the sake of your creativity. If so, deal with it as soon as possible. You’ll be soooo glad you did!

5 Comments »

1. 

   Yes, yes it can! Whoever “invented” Call Display should be the patron saint of banishing crazy. lol I’m reminded of a great line I heard once: “You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.”

   Comment by Yvette — April 11, 2011 @ 9:13 pm

2. 

   Yvette, you are so funny! I love my caller ID too. And great quote!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — April 12, 2011 @ 3:45 am

3. 

   They don’t even have to be crazy-makers as such, they just demand 150% of your attention, as if you have nothing else better to do. And we do have plenty of better things to fill our time with – like writing and being creative, let alone unstressed!

   Comment by Sherryl — April 13, 2011 @ 1:46 am

4. 

   Kristi,
   Can you say more about how you were able to back away from your own crazymaker so that you didn’t get sucked in?

   Comment by Lisa Harkrader — April 14, 2011 @ 6:15 am

5. 

   Lisa, I will consider that. I’m not sure I can do that without being very specific. But there are great books available now–and good counseling–for dealing with such people (be they parents, children, or spouses). It has a lot to do with setting boundaries, dealing with codependent issues, and the like.

   Comment by Kristi Holl — April 16, 2011 @ 6:16 pm

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