Writers First Aid

What’s Holding You Back?

January 5, 2011

reins I’ve been reading a book on how fear affects writing (and art-making of all kinds). Fear is what holds many (even most) of us back from being the writers we dream of being–and probably could be.

Art & Fear suggests that these fears fall into two main categories: (1) fears about yourself, and (2) fears of how others will receive your work.

The fears about yourself prevent you from doing your best work. Fears about your reception by others prevent you from doing your own work.

The Great Pretender (or fears about self)

When you doubt your own abilities, you feel like a fake, an impostor. You feel like your best work was an accident, a happy fluke that you can’t seem to duplicate. It feels as if you’re going through the motions of being a writer–typing, reading how-to books and magazines, attending conferences–but you suspect that you don’t really know what you’re doing. (And we wrongly assume that all those other writers DO know what they’re doing.)

You also suspect you don’t have any real talent. After all, talented people perform their art with ease. Writers might start out that way, but inevitably you reach a point (if you’re truly working) where it definitely is NOT easy! You take that as a sign that you don’t really have enough talent to be a writer after all. (Truth: talent is a gift, and most people have enough talent. Probably 95% of success is what you do with it–and for writers, that means showing up at the page consistently.)

These fears WILL keep you from doing your best work.

Whose Priorities Count? (or fears about others)

The best writing is not produced by committee. It’s produced when a writer who is passionate about an idea is left alone to create. At these times we aren’t even thinking about others.

Problems arise when we confuse others’ priorities with our own. In our heads, we hear these critical voices. (Some come from our pasts, some from current writing friends, some from what we read in magazines and publishing journals.) Since published writers depend on reviews for sales, what others think has to matter at some point. However, when others’ opinions–how they think we should write–influences you too much and too soon in the process, you stop writing what you truly love and start writing what “they” have said is better or more salable.

Wanting to be understood is a basic need, and writers want others to understand their stories. They don’t want to be booed off the stage for being too different. (We all learned at an early age the dangers of being considered different or weird.) So the inner war continues with writers: can I find the courage to be true to what I need to write, or will I buckle to others’ opinions so I have a better chance of being received well? Buckling to fears of being misunderstood makes you dependent on your readers or audience.

These fears WILL keep you from doing your own work.

Ponder This…

This coming week, when you’re out scooping snow or taking a walk, give these two questions some thought:

What fears do you have about yourself that prevent you from doing your BEST work?

What fears about your reception by others prevents you from doing your OWN work?

And if you’re REALLY brave, leave a comment about one (or both). It will give me ideas for future topics!

Post tags: acceptance, courage, creativity, fears, psychology of writing, talent, writing challenges, writing output, writing process

Posted in: attitudes,courage,creativity,fears,focusing,ideas,passion,psychology of writing,success,writing habits,writing life,writing output,writing phases,writing process | | Comments (15)

15 Comments »

Fears about myself: Not capable. And my fear lies in comparing myself to other writers–are they more clever than me? Are their sentences more complex than mine? Those types of questions almost always lead to me feeling defeated.

Fears about my work: I’m not a good writer, it’s not making a difference, it has no value. I know that sitting down to write and writing the first few lines is the most difficult for me almost always–because I’m afraid that once I start the commmitment to writing, there will be no creativity to follow.

I’ve been praying diligently about overcoming..about being determined…and about removing self-doubt and filling myself with the confidence with Christ. I know just like anything else, if I daily commit, then God will bless me and teach me and grow me.

BTW Thanks for your blog! I follow it regularly– don’t know if you remember me or not, but we met once at GracePoint and talked about DivorceCare??? Your new grandbaby is beautiful!

Comment by TJ — January 5, 2011 @ 8:47 am
TJ, I had clicked over to your blog and thought you looked familiar, but I wouldn’t have guessed it was from Gracepoint! Nice! Your fears sound like mine, and you wouldn’t think after all these years I would have to repeat daily affirmations like “My gift is unique and the expression of that gift is unique–I don’t have to be like any other writer.” I find it difficult because I have never been inclined to write what was popular at the time. Most writers deal with doubt throughout their writing lives though. You learn to ignore it and do it afraid! The doubt only seems to disappear AFTER you do the writing. So…step out and find out!

Comment by Kristi Holl — January 5, 2011 @ 9:55 am
Wow, what a post, I feel that you’ve personally got into my head because I often (correction – always) feel like the biggest pretender. As much as I find joy in writing I very seldom do it – why? Because I feel like a fake…especially if I am required to place it share it – kind of like placing myself on a sacrificial alter.
The biggest fear I have about myself that is holding me back would be the fear of success and then messing it up. What IF I were to actually get a contract? Wouldn’t that be so cool, I mean that is what I’ve been working towards – but then on the other hand, what if there were a hidden clause in the contract that I miss or don’t understand completely and I end up in a major lawsuit over it – that could cause a lot of problem for me and my family, especially if it were big enough to require the help of a lawyer or an attorney to fix it up…I’m afraid of doing something that will negatively affect those close to me.
I also allow myself to be easily pushed around by others’ comments on my work if they have more credentials than I because if they have more credentials than they know more than I do. If they know more than me, who am I to argue which way is really better?? How do I know that what I wrote is not wrong?
(Okay, I’ve completely exposed myself.)

Comment by Andrea — January 5, 2011 @ 12:02 pm
Andrea, I loved your post. Thank you for your honesty! I don’t think we talk about the various fears of success enough. Do rest assured that there is help available if you get a contract so you don’t run into legal trouble. There are attorneys who specialize in creative contracts–SCBWI.org can put you in touch with one. Or that might be the time to get an agent–many are happy to sign someone who is waiting with a contract offer!

About being pushed around by others’ opinions…that’s a hard one. I have the same trouble, so I no longer show my novel to anyone (including a critique group) until the book is “finished” in my opinion. Too many cooks CAN spoil the broth–and your voice AND your theme. You’re the only one who knows what you’re trying to say, and sometimes WE don’t even know that till we’ve waded through many revisions. If you don’t agree with someone in your gut, ignore the advice.

Comment by Kristi Holl — January 5, 2011 @ 2:02 pm
I dive into things fearlessly … and it’s only in the middle, when the work gets more demanding that I worry (fear) that I’m not up for it, why did I take it on, will it ever be good enough, etc. etc. etc. Somehow I do finish things, and I’m always glad I did. But as you know, I have not finished a novel to my satisfaction — the very heart of what I want to do now as I grow as a writer.

I can’t answer this honestly right now because I have not explored this fully, but I think part of the answer is related to fear … fear of rejection. Fear of what’s closest to my deepest desire being told that its utter dreck, not fit for others’ eyes and minds. I know it’s not, but if I give it to someone else, my heart could be trampled and I’m not ready for that. Even the thought of it makes me cry.

Funny you should post on this very topic because I have been thinking about this a lot. So this year, I am going to heed the most-often advice in the Bible “Fear not” and put it into practice and finish my revisions and send it out.

Good grief, this is practically turning into a confessional.

Comment by Vijaya — January 5, 2011 @ 4:34 pm
Vijaya, thank you for sharing! Confessional or not, I would bet my bottom dollar that more writers feel this way than those who are brimming with confidence! Dealing with the fears that plague us all–and learning to write despite the fears–is a necessary skill for writers. I appreciate your honesty.

Comment by Kristi Holl — January 5, 2011 @ 6:10 pm
I really identify with this blog post and the comments. It encourages me to know there are other writers who understand the battle with these fears. Thanks, everyone, for sharing.

“Buckling to fears of being misunderstood makes you dependent on your readers or audience.” I’m afraid this is a biggie for me lately. Not only being afraid of being misunderstood, but of being afraid that my writing, though honest, may hurt someone in the process. My sister-in-law recently advised me that I can’t control how readers react. I just need to write from my heart, to write what I believe God wants me to write. Not always easy to get rid of old mind-tapes, but I keep praying that God will take away my people-pleasing drive and fill me with zeal for His will and desires.

Comment by Trudy — January 5, 2011 @ 7:30 pm
Trudy, your s-i-l is right. That said, I fully identify with YOU on this one. I have a manuscript that may never see the light of day–at least for some years. I wrote it during NaNoWriMo last year, and I think it’s the best thing I’ve done in years, but it would pretty well destroy a relationship that needs to be maintained. It’s a good story, but I would sound vindictive, I think, if it were published. I think this always has to come down to a personal decision–and timing. Maybe someday…

Comment by Kristi Holl — January 5, 2011 @ 10:14 pm
What a great post. I feel like you set out to describe me and did a darn good job! I am squarely in the good-work-is-a-happy-accident camp. Add to that my certainty that any success thus far has been a result of somehow managing to fool someone – from teachers in school right on up to editors and reviewers, and a lot of the time I seriously doubt that I was cut out for this calling!

On the other hand, I love to write and I can’t not write. So even though I doubt my abilities, even though my sales don’t measure up to lots of other writers, even though there are days when I feel like I’m running headlong into a brick wall over and over again, I still write Maybe it’s just innate pig-headedness

I also seem drawn to write books that aren’t popular at the time. So many mss just languish.

It sure would be nice to be able to honestly feel like I deserve my publishing credits (less than stellar sales have a way of making me think the story wasn’t that good after all) and feel comfortable and secure in continuing to write. I would write even if I didn’t occasionally sell a ms, but I confess I crave the validation, and when it comes from time to time it gives me a confidence boost – at least briefly – and makes me feel like it’s worth the effort. But part of me knows that confidence boost shouldn’t have to come from without.

Talk about baring the soul!!!

Comment by Susanna — January 6, 2011 @ 6:10 am
Susanna, I think we all want the validation. It might come in different forms (sales figures, a pat on the back from our families, making a “name” for ourselves in our hometown, getting asked to speak at conferences, etc.) but we all want to connect with our readers. It’s natural, since we write to communicate and don’t feel like we’ve done that when there’s no one to read it. (Don’t feel too bad about the sales figures. I’ve talked to MANY writers facing the same thing. Hopefully the economy will work itself out soon!)

Comment by Kristi Holl — January 6, 2011 @ 4:19 pm
I’ve really enjoyed reading all your responses. I have made a blog post about this if you are interested in reading further: http://vijayabodach.blogspot.com/2011/01/feast-of-epiphany.html

I think regrets come from not answering the call.

Comment by Vijaya — January 6, 2011 @ 4:23 pm
Enjoyed your post, Vijaya! I didn’t know you wanted to be a doctor initially. A good lesson there about hanging on to our dreams. Living a life without regrets is a great goal!

Comment by Kristi Holl — January 6, 2011 @ 5:00 pm
Awesome post: I can relate to the fear & not just fears for writing but every day fears… getting the day job projects “just-right” is a big one currently – there’s been some shuffling around in the office, starting to wonder if my head’s next on the block…but most days I don’t let it get in the way of doing my job the best I can…
To get through the fear: My Mantra “I am in control of me & I can make my own decisions” it reminds me that it doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say if they aren’t affected by the decision. Some days this works & others not so much…
Biggest Fear about myself: Not being good enough to be published… this is big for me, I think my writing is good but I’m afraid of what others will say. The writing course has definitely been a big boost so this fear is getting smaller.
Biggest Fear about being Accepted by others: feeling the need to write what’s current & trendy just to make a sale… I think this would be bad for me as it would create the perception that I can’t make up my own mind & write for the trend instead of writing well. I keep reminding myself that I do need to write for me, if something trendy is also something I’d like to write about then go for it, else let it lie as the writing would be fake.

Comment by Ally M — January 7, 2011 @ 12:31 pm
Fears are the number one problem for me. Every rejection slip just seems to say, “You aren’t good enough. Give up and save yourself some grief.”
But God gave me this gift and I’m not happy unless I’m writing and creating, so I keep trying!
It helps to know others are having these same fears.
Thanks to all who shared!

Comment by Peanuts — January 11, 2011 @ 2:29 pm
I always feel like I can’t get started writing a story because I just don’t know enough. My work must be perfect, so I never get started. This has always been a problem with me and it feels like I keep stepping into the same manhole every time I walk down the same street.

Comment by Laura Trotchie — January 13, 2011 @ 5:50 pm