Writers First Aid

Divine Discontent

October 18, 2010

Learning how to be content with what you have brings great peace. I’ve discontent done several studies on contentment, and it’s a state I try to live in.

That said, I also believe there is such a thing as divine discontent. It’s akin to the stirring of the nest when it’s time for baby birds to leave their comfort zone and fly.

That “I want something more” feeling is what prompted me to take the ICL writing course thirty years ago, the only writer’s “training” I’ve ever had.

Spinning Your Wheels

This divine discontent is a longing for something different. You may feel stuck in a job that saps so much energy that you don’t have any left over for your writing. You may have climbed to the top of the corporate ladder and found it less satisfying than you’d expected. Your kids may finally be in school all day, but your days are crammed with things that don’t fulfill you.

This restless discontent can be a sign that you’re being called to something else. If you’re reading this blog, perhaps it’s a career in writing.

Signposts Along the Way

According to The Practical Dreamer’s Handbook: Finding the Time, Money, and Energy to Live Your Dreams by Paul and Sarah Edwards, there are sixteen signs to look for that might mean something is missing in your life–and something new is waiting to be born. The signs include:

Not wanting to get out of bed
Feeling mildly depressed for days on end
Difficulty motivating yourself to do routine tasks
Overeating, using alcohol, drugs, or TV to feel better or escape
Losing interest in things that once engaged you
Feeling chronically tired, de-energized, and listless
Nagging doubts about yourself and the course of your life
Losing a sense of enthusiasm
Worrying about how you’ll keep things together
Getting frequent headaches, stomach upset, and other aches and pains
Feeling bored and restless
Sleeping too much or too little
Wishing you were someone else
Nagging and complaining
Having frequently bad dreams or nightmares
Feeling constantly overwhelmed and irritable

What if you identify with these signs of discontent with your life? Could this restless sense of “I need something more” be a calling to do something else? Something besides what “everyone” thinks you should do?

Finding Out

Behind the Stories: Christian Novelists Reveal the Heart in the Art of Their Writing (by Diane Eble) is forty stories by novelists telling how they found their way to writing–and the winding paths they sometimes traveled before they could write full-time.

One novelist, Alton Gansky, summed up “divine discontent” well: “Perhaps this is the hallmark of a calling: this sense that you are meant to do something, the restlessness that comes when you don’t do it, the deep satisfaction you feel when you do it–whatever “it” is.

How do you find “it”? Ask yourself, “What is it I have loved doing, what has given me that sense of satisfaction? What would I do if I had two days to do whatever I wanted? What do I tend to gravitate toward and make time for? What do I feel passionate about? What have I always dreamed of doing?” These questions may begin to uncover that thing you do, or would like to do, that is your gift and perhaps your calling.

Making Changes

How about you? Does any of this resonate with you at this point of your life? Do you sense a need for change of direction (either major or minor)? I know that’s a really personal question, but do share a comment if you can!

Post tags: depression, dreams, focusing, goals, psychology of writing, writing challenges

Posted in: commitment,dreams,focusing,goals,writing challenges | | Comments (14)

14 Comments »

It’s funny but I bought my very first writing book (Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird) while I was still working full time as a scientist. I knew I wanted to be a writer like A.J. Cronin (physician turned writer), but only after I had lived a full life (ie, worked and married and raised children, and become a grandmother). But once the kids arrived, I quit working to stay home and the childhood dream surfaced. I enrolled in a writing class as soon as I wasn’t sleep-deprived and the rest is history. I am living my dream. I think you have to follow those dreams. God gives them to you for a reason.

Comment by Vijaya — October 18, 2010 @ 10:51 pm
Vijaya, I loved hearing your story about how you got started writing. Yes, God gives us this gift and this dream for a good purpose. Sounds like you started writing when I did. I never went back to public school teaching either. “I am living my dream.” That is the neatest phrase!

Comment by Kristi Holl — October 19, 2010 @ 5:12 am
Ha ha… I recently read the book, “It’s Your Call” by Gary Barkalow, which talked about finding your God-given calling/purpose. And, afterward, I asked God to show me whether/not writing is my calling.

Today, I just decided to come back to this blog and read whatever was new…and found this post! It was almost like an answer to my question/prayer! LOL

So, thank you! I really appreciate this post, and also the suggestion of “The Practical Dreamer’s Handbook” (added to my To-Be-Read list!).

~MizB

Comment by MizB — October 19, 2010 @ 6:44 am
MizB, thanks for the book title. Sounds good! So many of us feel weird to say “I’m called to write.” I never knew for sure if I was or not. I just knew I loved to write, I loved to read, I loved to move people with stories—but called? I didn’t know. But the desire to write has only grown over the years in answer to prayer. That’s a good sign!

Comment by Kristi Holl — October 19, 2010 @ 10:16 am
Kristi,

I find myself reading your blog as often as I can. I’m newling retired and now a caretaker of my 92 year old mother-in-law. I am currently taking the ICL writing course and finding out it fits into that place that feels “missing.” You have given me some great insight and will be an ongoing support for your column. Why is it that I had more time to get things done when I was working none hours a day, and now I find it harder to organize my time. I’m working on getting it all together and being able to spend my “me time” in my writing.

Comment by Sharon — October 19, 2010 @ 12:23 pm
Sharon, you really have your hands full, despite retirement. I hope the course is as fulfilling and exciting for you as it was for me. I had to smile at your comment about being more organized when you worked fulltime. That is soooo true! I wrote about that in my Writer’s First Aid book under “Too Much Time?” I couldn’t figure out how I got more writing done when my four kids were home underfoot than after they went to school! Chores DO expand to fit whatever time we have (if we let them). Good luck to you!

Comment by Kristi Holl — October 19, 2010 @ 4:21 pm
it’s great to see that I am not crazy and I’m not the only one with these feelings of deep dissatisfaction when I am not in writing mode. Over the years, I have hidden behind exams for an accountancy professional qualification, climbing the corporate ladder and now I’m occupied with raising my two children and being a supportive wife. In the last year, I have given more time to ‘my’ writing than ever before. I still have a way to go before I see a published book in my hands that I can call my own but I get a deep satisfaction just having a computer, table and chair of my own and making out time to write be it in the middle of the night or early in the morning or while my baby naps. Like I said, still a long way to go but I am doing things to get there and I get a deep sense of satisfaction from the journey itself. Recently got accepted to the ICL course and I am so ecstatic! Thanks Kristi for keeping ‘us’ going. Love your blog and your generous spirit shines through.

Comment by Ekwy — October 20, 2010 @ 12:52 am
Hi, Kristi.

There seem to be all kinds of happy coincidences around this particular topic on this particular day. I just wrote an article yesterday on my writers’ blog about contentment vs. gratitude, and self-limiting beliefs. At first glance it may seem that you and I disagree, but as you keep reading it becomes clear we’re right on the same page.

I love coming here to your blog and getting lost for about an hour at a time on all the “good stuff.” (That’s the technical term. ha-ha-ha)

Great article! Keep ‘em comin’…

Deb

Comment by Deb Gallardo - Story Ideas — October 21, 2010 @ 11:48 am
Ekwy, I don’t know where my reply to you went! I thought it posted yesterday! I really resonated with you–I started writing with the ICL course during baby naps myself. Thanks for your kind words!

And Deb, I enjoyed your blog post too. Yes, I see that we agree. I’m all for contentment–I just don’t want people to be “resigned” to the way things are if they yearn for more. Thanks for your support!

Comment by Kristi Holl — October 21, 2010 @ 2:44 pm
Yes, this resonates with me. I am finding so much more contentment lately when I’m writing as I feel I’m finally putting my heart into this calling.

I, too, took the ICL course many years ago. I wrote for children at first. Recently I finished the Christian Writers’ Guild apprentice course, and now I find myself writing more for adults. However, since I’ve been doing more reflective writing through the 100-Day Challenge, a restlessness seems to be growing in me for the children again. But then again, I also find contentment in writing motivational pieces for adults, too. I love the quote from Alton Gansky and the questions you suggested we ask ourselves. I’ll have to put your questions toward writing tasks and see where they’ll take me.

Comment by Trudy — October 21, 2010 @ 3:07 pm
Trudy, I really appreciate your comment. I love when something I post resonates with other writers. Gansky’s questions really spoke to me too. Like you, I love both writing for children and writing motivational pieces for adults (mostly writers). We sound like kindred souls, as Anne would say.

Comment by Kristi Holl — October 22, 2010 @ 8:38 am
This is a really good read for me. Must admit that you are one of the best bloggers I ever saw.Thanks for posting this informative article.

Comment by Vinnie — October 23, 2010 @ 12:58 am
Vinnie, thank you for the kind words!

Comment by Kristi Holl — October 26, 2010 @ 10:21 am
Kristi — just wanted to tell you that, thanks to your post, here, I got myself a (library) copy of “The Practical Dreamer’s Handbook” to read. And, it was really good! I’m so grateful to have found it here on your blog!

[My Review]

~MizB

Comment by MizB — December 3, 2010 @ 8:33 am