August 27, 2010

Judging from some questions and comments I got via email about Wednesday’s post, I think I should have probably explained more.

I believe that many of us–and definitely ME–have a slightly “off” definition of being optimistic. It isn’t about thinking more positively or saying peppy things to yourself to keep going. (I’m good at both of those things.)

The test I scored a zero on measured three things that make up your optimism/pessimism score:

ONE: Permanence

Pessimists come to believe a bad condition is probably permanent (“Diets never work for me.” “You never talk to me.” “Life will always be hard.” “Editors will never want my writing.”)

Conversely, pessimests also believe the good things that happen to them are transcient. (“I tried hard that time.” “My opponent was just tired that day.” “I got lucky that time–it was a fluke.”)

An optimist believes good events came from permanent causes (“I’m smart” and “I’m talented”) and that bad events come from temporary causes (“I was having a bad day” and “she’s just hormonal this week.”)

TWO: Pervasiveness

Pessimists let bad news or events in one area of life spread to other areas. (“I can’t write–I just had a fight with my spouse/teen/best friend.”) Pessimists make blanket judgments. “All editors are unfair.” “Writing books are useless.”)

Conversely, when good things happen, pessimists are very specific. (“I only did well there because I’m smart at math.” “The editor only agreed to look at my book because I was charming at the conference.”)

An optimist can put bad events in a box and not let a failure in one area spread out into all areas of his/her life. Specific events stay separate. (“I’ll deal with my teen later–I’ll write now.” “This writing book is useless.” “The editor asked for my manuscript because my pitch–which I worked on for days–was good!”)

THREE: Personalization

This is when taking responsibility for your part in things (which is good) becomes self-blame (where you take all the responsibility for a problem, whether any or all of it is your fault or not.) You may have been raised with blame or live with someone who makes everything your fault. Either way, when things don’t work out in some area of your life, you automatically assume 100% of the blame. (“I’m just stupid.” “I’m insecure.” “I have no talent.”)

An optimist is realistic about how much responsibility to take for a problem. She doesn’t feel guilty assigning blame to others or events beyond her control when appropriate. She feels responsible for herself, not everyone she knows. [This was my biggest downfall on the test!]

It All Works Together

The test I took scored you on all three aspects. I scored high on some and low on others, which is how I got a zero. Some things–like taking too responsibility for things–turned out to be a bigger issue than I would have guessed. Apparently there’s nothing quite as depressing as trying to control something you have no control over!

More on all this later…but I wanted to clear up some confusion. Have a great weekend!

2 Comments »

1. 

   Thanks for the explanation, Kristi. I suspect I would have scored similar to you. I think a lot of it is the way we were brought up. As the youngest, I was constantly told I was spoiled and didn’t deserve treats etc (not so blatantly, but still, it was ongoing into teen and adult years).
   So when you said the bit about “I got lucky this time”, that resonated with me – it translates to “I didn’t really deserve the good thing I got”.
   Plenty of food for thought indeed!

   Comment by Sherryl — August 27, 2010 @ 5:59 pm

2. 

   Sherryl, it’s so interesting how the rather minor sounding things we tell ourselves add up over the years. It’s good to root these negative things out though since we know how much this affects our writing and our career mind-set. (Side note: I know how hard you work, and I’m loving your new novel, so you DIDN’T just get lucky!)

   Comment by Kristi Holl — August 28, 2010 @ 4:07 pm

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