Writers First Aid

The Serenity Prayer for Writers

May 10, 2010

tension7 When I’m frustrated, it’s usually a sign that I’m trying to control something I can’t control. This can be a person or a situation or an event. The process can churn your mind into mush until you can’t think.

On the other hand, making a 180-degree switch and focusing on the things I can control (self-control) is the fastest way out of frustration. This concept certainly applies to your writing life.

Words of Wisdom

Remember the Serenity Prayer? It goes like this: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

How about reducing frustration with your writing life by applying that wisdom to your career? Here are some things to accept that you cannot change:

How long it takes to get a response from editors and agents
Rejections
Editors moving before buying the manuscript they asked to see
Size of print runs
Reviews
Publisher’s budget for your book’s publicity and promotion

Trying to change anything on the above list is a sure-fire route to frustration and wanting to quit.

However, do you have courage to change the things you can? Here are some:

Giving yourself positive feedback and affirmations
Reading positive books on the writing life
Studying writing craft books
Writing more hours
Reading more books in the genre where you want to publish
Attending local, state, regional and national conferences you can afford
Joining or forming a critique group

Wisdom to Know the Difference

If you’re battling frustration and discouragement with the writing life, chances are good that you’re trying to control something beyond your control. It will make you crazy! The fastest way back to sanity is to concentrate on what you can control about the writing life.

Choose anything from that second list–or share an additional idea in the comments below–and get on with becoming a better writer. In the end, that’s all you can do–and it will be enough.

11 Comments »

Kristi, this is one of my favorite prayers. Below is the complete version … I think it speaks volumes about expectations and happiness and I’m committing it to memory.
Prayerfully yours, Vijaya

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
*
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

~~Reinhold Neibuhr (1892-1971)

Comment by Vijaya — May 10, 2010 @ 10:24 am
Vijaya, thanks for posting the rest of the poem. Isn’t it beautiful?

Comment by Kristi Holl — May 10, 2010 @ 11:18 am
Today in this post you have “changed the things you can.” I love the serenity prayer, and I thank you for reminding me of it, especially since tomorrow we must bury our dad.

Thank you, Kristi, for making such a difference in both my writing and my personal life with all your encouraging posts.

Comment by Trudy — May 10, 2010 @ 11:47 am
Oh, Trudy, my heart goes out to you. It is many years now since we buried my own dad, but I remember. Bless you for taking the time to comment. Take care–and I’m very glad you find the posts encouraging.

Comment by Kristi Holl — May 10, 2010 @ 1:20 pm
Thank you for this wonderful thought provoking post Kristi.

Comment by Sarah Yale — May 10, 2010 @ 3:16 pm
Sarah, you’re welcome! Focusing on things I CAN do really helps me be less frustrated about the things I can’t do. I can subdue the control freak within, but it never really disappears!

Comment by Kristi Holl — May 10, 2010 @ 4:22 pm
Also, being frustrated about other aspects of life outside of writing is a surefire way to squash the writing bug. I don’t know about anyone else, but I can’t write productively if I’m having screaming fights with people in my head, while I’m supposed to be working through plot problems! It’s like that post you wrote a while ago about having different drawers, or boxes, in your mind, and only opening one at a time – my inner control-freak likes to open them all at once and throw the contents all over the place.

Comment by Yvette — May 10, 2010 @ 8:46 pm
Thanks for making me smile this morning!

Sandra Beckwith

Comment by Sandra Beckwith — May 11, 2010 @ 7:22 am
Yvette, you make me smile. I can see your inner control freak tossing things around. I used to do that a lot–I don’t have enough energy for that anymore (not, and still get my work done). Being able to control one’s own thoughts is certainly critical to controlling one’s actions.

Sandra, you’re welcome!

Comment by Kristi Holl — May 11, 2010 @ 7:28 pm
Kristi, I think that’s why so many writers go overboard with doing their own publicity via FB, blogs, Twitter etc. We know we have no real control over the publisher’s publicity budget and efforts, and it’s so frustrating that we launch into “publicist mode” to try and make a difference.
But I’ve been seeing a few posts and articles lately that provide some interesting information on what works and what doesn’t. It does come down to writing a great book and finding ways to encourage word-of-mouth. I think we authors can sometimes do that better than a publicity machine.
Sharing experiences on your blog is a great start!

Comment by Sherryl — May 12, 2010 @ 2:54 am
Sherryl, your findings confirm something I’ve suspected for a long time. And oddly enough, it’s what they told us to do thirty years ago, before the technology explosion. It will be really interesting to see what happens in the coming months and years with all this.

Comment by Kristi Holl — May 12, 2010 @ 12:33 pm