Writers First Aid

How Much Can YOU Take?

March 31, 2010

rejection I was reading the new Writer Magazine yesterday, and the article about best-selling (as in over 15 million copies) Meg Cabot caught my eye. She said you need to block out what you read about “overnight successes” in the publishing business.

She points to her own experience with rejection, and I challenge you to read this without fainting:

It took her three years of sending out query letters every day to land an agent.
Before publishing she got a rejection letter every day in the mail for four years–over 1,000 rejections.

And she didn’t quit! She went on to write over 50 books for juveniles, teens and adults. Her Princess Diaries series became the basis of two hit Disney films.

Slightly Embarrassed

Reading about Meg Cabot’s stick-to-it-iveness made me rather embarrassed for all the times I’ve (1) moaned and groaned about a couple of rejections, and (2) given up on a manuscript after fewer than five rejections. I have four novels in my closet right now that I gave up on after just a few rejections.

This next week I will be dusting them off, re-reading them for possible revisions, and sending them out again.

Rejection Stamina

How about you? What is your “rejection stamina”? Are you another Meg Cabot? I hope so! Look how her stamina has served her well.

If you’re brave, share how many rejections you receive before giving up on a piece. Also, what’s your best tip for getting a manuscript back in the mail ASAP?

Post tags: encouragement, psychology of writing, rejection, revision, strategy, writing habits

Posted in: depression,disappointments,encouragement,fears,rejections | | Comments (22)

22 Comments »

I usually give a piece 5 rejections. Then I go over it with a fine-toothed comb and a writer friend and figure out 1) is it the piece or the publisher? 2) did I target the wrong market? 3) If it’s the piece, how can I improve it? Sometimes those answers don’t come right away, but you’ve just given me the kick in the pants I needed to get to work!

Comment by Jane Healy — March 31, 2010 @ 3:20 pm
Jane, what an excellent plan you have! I’m afraid I have tended to retire a piece permanently instead of following a smart plan like yours. Thank you for sharing this very practical and smart idea!

Comment by Kristi Holl — March 31, 2010 @ 3:37 pm
Well, I have only submitted one thing so far, and I got an acknowledgment postcard and nothing else. So, I’m a newbie at being “officially” rejected. But, rejection in general is not easy for me to take. The best thing I’ve learned is that rejection doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve written a dud, maybe it just wasn’t right for that particular market at that time. As to how much I can take? Not sure, but it was exhilarating to finally send in something, so I think I’d be somewhat steadfast. Or I’d like to think so.

Comment by Selena — March 31, 2010 @ 4:12 pm
Selena, you’re at a great spot in your career where you can decide AHEAD OF TIME what your “rejection plan” is going to be. It’s much easier to decide now than when you’re down in the dumps when the manuscript comes back. Jane’s advice (first comment) is an excellent approach to take.

Comment by Kristi Holl — March 31, 2010 @ 5:38 pm
I can’t decide: Am I encouraged that “overnight successes” are pretty much nonexistent, and EVERYONE has to work their tails off? Or do I simply want to cry because I have years ahead of me before achieving anything?

Nevermind – I’ll just sit up straight and open up my manuscript, so I can work on it for the rest of the night as though someone wants to read it.

Comment by Yvette — March 31, 2010 @ 8:13 pm
Yvette, I enjoy your sense of humor. Yes, there ARE two sides to this double-edged sword! Yes, you’ll probably have to work your tail off. But it doesn’t have to take years. Somewhat it depends on what your goals are. Mine were first to get published in magazines, and I sold three of my ICL assignments, which got me hooked. But the thirty rejection slips came first. I didn’t take rejection in life well either, so I’m glad it didn’t take four years to reach my first small goal and get some encouragement. I’m guessing Meg Cabot had higher aspirations than mine at the beginning.

Comment by Kristi Holl — March 31, 2010 @ 9:03 pm
I love that story, because it shows that it’s work and persistence that causes a writer to succeed!

Comment by Beth Mac — March 31, 2010 @ 9:19 pm
Beth, I liked it for that reason too. Work and persistence—something we can all develop if we really want to!

Comment by Kristi Holl — March 31, 2010 @ 10:38 pm
The most rejections I received for a single piece (although revisions happened along the way based on editors’ responses)was 64. On the 65th submission, Julia’s Words was accepted. Best tip for getting it back in the mail ASAP: Have another market picked out before the rejection comes back.

Comment by Judith L. Roth — April 1, 2010 @ 6:55 am
Judith, you have a LOT of rejection stamina! That’s a wonderful story. Aren’t you glad you didn’t quit? Yes, your tip about having another market (or several) chosen BEFORE it’s rejected is very wise and practical. When I started out, I used to choose ten markets and make a list before sending it out the first time–a tip from my ICL instructor way back when. It felt like a good back-up plan.

Comment by Kristi Holl — April 1, 2010 @ 7:44 am
WoW she really stuck to it!
Now I want to read the rest of that article.
hanks for sharing that info.

What’s worked for me in the past is to make a list of 5 publishers for each of my manuscripts then send to 3 of them right away. This way if/when one came back I would be able to print & send it out again right away.

After about 5 rejections I’d look at it again.

I’m going to adopt her plan and send something out every day!

Comment by Liz — April 1, 2010 @ 7:46 am
Liz, you bring up a good point. The trend now is certainly to do multiple submissions, and I find that most editors rather expect it now. I see nothing wrong with it, unless the editor specifically says “no multiple submissions” or “no simultaneous submissions.” Glad you brought up this point.

Comment by Kristi Holl — April 1, 2010 @ 12:42 pm
A question for all: When you write a piece, do you usually send it to one market at a time, with one on deck in case of rejection? I’ve been sending pieces to two, three, four at a time. Am I shooting myself in the foot?

Comment by Yvette — April 1, 2010 @ 7:26 pm
Yvette, see the response just above. I think it’s a fine practice these days!

Comment by Kristi Holl — April 2, 2010 @ 7:42 am
Don’t feel too bad, Kristi.

I think a lot of how well you take rejection depends on you as a human being, not just your age, parents, etc.

When I think of the many writers I respect and admire who’ve are pushing 100+ rejections for just one book or story, I feel like such a baby when after 19 or so rejections I cave in. Not EVERY time, but let’s be real, we’re human and we have limits to what we can take, and I don’t mean that as a cop out.

I think some people are faster learners at this than others, I’m definitely on the slow end.

Besides, I’m sure even the most patient folks on Earth have some limit, however minute, otherwise you’re either a coldhearted jerk, or just plain inhuman.

I’ve heard and read a few interviews Meg has done over the years, and according to her, she still has many of the insecurities you and I have, but she’s found it in herself to at least not quit before doing all she could.

In one of her interviews, she said she gained a new found courage to go for her writing professionally after her father died. Mortality can be a great, if annoyingly morbid, motivator.

In my case, I’ve had to learn to slow down. It’s always taking me a lot longer to do things. To tie my shoes, to cook well, to just plain “Grow up.”

The latter is a heavy work in progress, by the way.

Writing certainly wasn’t any different. That said, while the issue with mortality made Meg go for her writing dream, now or never, part of my impatience came from the issue of mortality.

There are so many writers who spend decades on their craft, and by the time they get to publication, they die from old age before they could share even a handful of their stories.

This has weighed heavily on my heart the last few years as we’ve lost some great writers.

The most heart-wrenching for me was when I learned that Steig Larson, author of The Girl With The Dragon’s Tattoo, and the other two books in that trilogy, died before ever seeing one of them as a finished product.

On the one hand, it’s an poignant expression of doing your best to the end. At the same time, it’s sad to think you might make it that far, but die before seeing the success. I don’t know how old he was, but from the photo I saw, way older than I am now.

It took the care and support of my trusted readers and my new critique group who believe in me and my stories to help me slow down and not be as anxious.

Drive is important, but so is being patient with yourself, and I assure you Kristi, you’ve got at least two legs up on me in that regard at the moment.

I’d still like to publish something before I’m middle aged, but I know I’ll never quit, my days of giving up too easy are over!

That said, some semi-instant gratification once and awhile would be good for creative morale, you know?

C.J.

Comment by C.J. Rockwell — April 2, 2010 @ 4:16 pm
Yes, C.J., I’m all for some instant gratification in the publishing department! And I think slowing down is fine. “Slow and steady wins the race,” as they say. I hadn’t thought about mortality being a great motivator, but I guess it sure would be! I’m glad you have trusted readers and a good critique group. They’re worth their weight in gold!

Comment by Kristi Holl — April 2, 2010 @ 9:10 pm
They sure are golden,

Without them, I’d be in that abyss of pain I was in late last year, feeling like I was miles behind so many excellent writers who worked harder than me, or just developed faster in areas I still struggle with.

When I was reading the new issue of CBI (Children’s book insider) it talked about ways to not let rejection take you down.

Most of the tips I’d heard before, but were no less valid. The hardest for me is being able to see my story the way an editor would.

For one, I’m not or have ever been an editor, though I now know enough to know it’s a demanding and, given my personality, a very frustrating job. Only the bravest souls can do it well.

Plus, if the things I’ve learned from editor interviews are any indication, they’d rather see the kinds of stories I just don’t write that well, or have interest in.

Everyone’s always saying “Know your audience” but what if you don’t know how to know who they are?

c.J.

Comment by C.J. Rockwell — April 3, 2010 @ 6:34 am
C.J., I’m going to blog soon about audience. I have the same trouble you have–and I always have had. I can’t seem to write with an “audience” in mind. When I’m editing, I sometimes have to change a few things when I know where I am going to market it (like changing the vocabulary a bit). Madeleine L’Engle, the Newbery winner, had some good things to say about audience.

Comment by Kristi Holl — April 4, 2010 @ 7:21 am
Hi! I have been writing since 2nd grade. I am now 33 (34 in about 3 weeks). I have yet to send anything out. But I do have 5 manuscripts close to being ready, with a list of 15-20 publishers for each. I like to think I’m organized and have a system that will work well for me. I’m actually looking forward to that first rejection letter. I might even frame it. Thinking about Dr. Seuss is also inspiring, with his multiple rejections. My goal is to have my first book published by the time I’m 40, so I have only 6 years to go! Wonder how many rejections I’ll rack up in the process…

Comment by Christie Wright Wild — April 6, 2010 @ 8:03 pm
Christie, you sound very close to being ready to launch your writing career! You are definitely getting all your ducks in a row and not rushing it–and giving yourself enough time to do a good job. The fact that you’re studying and writing and being patient will probably cut down on the rejections too. 9-)

Comment by Kristi Holl — April 6, 2010 @ 8:25 pm
Phew! This is a good kick in the pants to not to get discouraged. Thanks for sharing this heartfelt info!

Comment by Donna McDine — April 7, 2010 @ 5:31 am
Given this past year, I need this kick in the pants as much as anyone else. We hold each other up!

Comment by Kristi Holl — April 7, 2010 @ 7:26 am