January 6, 2010

My biggest goal for 2010 is finding balance in my life.

Last year my health got out balance (no time for self-care) because my volunteer work grew beyond healthy proportions. There wasn’t enough time for my writing, and I found myself emotionally burned out too often.

This year I want to find the balance–and make changes that will support it.

It’s Pretty Simple

One of things I’ve picked up and used from the Simple•ology course I’ve talked about was the importance of two basic questions. Before making each choice of activity–and we make hundreds of choices some days–we are to ask ourselves:

1. Will this action take me toward my goal or away from my goal? 
2. Will this behavior strengthen me or make me weaker?

Every action has a reaction, or consequence, attached to it. Usually there is a positive consequence and a negative one. (Think long-term here.) Before making a choice, just ask yourself those two questions.

Choices, Choices

For example, let’s say your dream is to finish and sell your novel and your goal for today is to write the climax scene. You can choose between two Krispy Kreme donuts for breakfast or a high fiber cereal and fruit. (Think long-term.) A high sugar, low fiber diet will hurt you in many ways, and an important one is your ability to think clearly and have enough stamina to do your writing. One choice weakens you, and one makes you stronger.

Or let’s say your goal today is to send out five queries for the human interest Christmas story you finished. You can read writing blogs, you can research a current market guide for contact information, or you can see what all your Facebook friends did over the weekend. Only one choice will move you a concrete step toward your goal today.

Apply these questions everywhere throughout your day. Will taking time to stretch and do sit-ups before a writing session help you or hurt you? (Hint: you need strong core muscles and a supple neck to survive many hours at the computer.) But while exercise is good, taking three hours to drive downtown to a gym, work out, and go to Starbucks just keeps you from your goal.

BOTH Are Needed

Remember, you want to take actions that do at least one of two things: get you closer to your writing goal and/or make you stronger. If you only focus on behaviors that get you to your goal (but eat junk, never exercise, have a fight every morning with your spouse, and never have any solitude), you won’t be able to continue too long.

On the other hand, if you only focus on behaviors that make your body stronger and healthier (but spend your writing time forwarding emails, reading a hundred Tweets, and watching the latest YouTube offerings), you won’t get very close to your goal at all.

Temptation is Everywhere!

Every time you’re tempted to waste time online or eat a pint of ice cream for lunch or chat with every instant messenger who pops up, you are facing a choice. One choice will weaken you–one will make you stronger. One will help you reach your goal–one will push you back even farther.

It’s your choice. And with every good choice you make, it’s easier to make a positive choice the next time. Each choice you face is a potential step toward your writing goals. Take it!

12 Comments »

1. 

   Oh, sure, as if all this unhealthful eating, no exercising and no writing are MY fault! Thanks for 2 easy questions to stay on track, Kristi! Best wishes.

   Comment by Jane Healy — January 6, 2010 @ 2:03 pm

2. 

   Jane, I know! Surely there’s SOMEONE else to whom we can pass the buck. Life just isn’t fair.

   Comment by Kristi Holl — January 6, 2010 @ 4:17 pm

3. 

   Ugh…I just finished checking Facebook before I read your post. I wasted 30 minutes reading updates, and did not get the lesson plans prepared that I wanted to work on tonight before my husband left work at 9:00. I’ve been reading, “The Writing Diet,” by Julia Cameron, and her suggestion to write three “morning pages” of whatever is on your mind have made me realize that Facebook is a problem for me. I don’t check it often, but when I do it’s usually for too long (plus I often get frustrated by the communication going on between my friends…). Like Julia’s suggestions in her book, your questions are great. Ultimately, I have to take responsibility for my actions and prayerfully make good choices. And so, I march onward. Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day, full of new chances to choose wisely. Thanks, again, for the encouragement!

   Comment by Selena — January 6, 2010 @ 8:21 pm

4. 

   Selena, I understand about Facebook. My lure is my grown kids–it’s where they say what they’re doing and where they post family pictures now. I have to leave FB as my “treat” AFTER the writing and other stuff is done. Staying off the Internet (including email) until afternoon has probably been my single best and most helpful change this new year.

   Comment by Kristi Holl — January 6, 2010 @ 8:30 pm

5. 

   This post and your last dovetail so very nicely. My days are busy with little things, and it’s not easy breaking those habits, but we make those choices hundreds of times during the day. Do I walk the dog or do the dishes? Do I write or mend those pants? Today, I chose to walk and write and I did the dishes later and we had soup and salad for supper. The ripped pants will have to wait for another day …

   Thank you so much.

   Comment by Vijaya — January 6, 2010 @ 8:34 pm

6. 

   Vijaya, it’s so true that we face dozens of such decisions every day. Sounds like you made some great choices. If we can just do it long enough to make it a habit!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — January 6, 2010 @ 9:21 pm

7. 

   Reading your blog has helped me to make better decisions in my own writing life. I have often talked about setting aside time each day to write, but now I’m actually doing it. I even took a year off work to work on a book, yet didn’t write a single word. Why? I didn’t commit myself to a plan. I’ve accomplished more since January 1 than I ever have toward the completion of my goal.

   Comment by E. A. Budd — January 7, 2010 @ 10:02 am

8. 

   E.A., love your blog and the countdown to finishing your novel. Having a plan and then working the plan makes so much difference. It’s a fallacy–as you found out–that if we just had lots of time, the book would practically write itself. Not!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — January 7, 2010 @ 11:24 am

9. 

   Thank you, Kristi. I needed that. I should print it and hang it over my monitor and on my refrigerator! When my full time job was eliminated almost a year ago, I thought I would have all this time to do what I want so I signed up for Bible study, which I love. I signed up to help at MOPS and to help teach seniors how to use computers. Pretty soon I didn’t have much time to write. Thankfully my husband, John, asked me, “How does that benefit your writing?” I was able to bail out of the computer classes but I love the Bible study and consider it paramount since I write to inspire people to love God. About MOPS, well we usually have five babies. Today we had ten. I love the babies and the mommies. It’s only a couple times a month away from my writing desk and it’s important in my love and service to God and others. Thank you again for the important reminder!

   Comment by Sue Tornai — January 7, 2010 @ 4:13 pm

10. 

    Sue, thanks for sharing! We sound a lot alike (I looked at your blog) with our six grown kids together, 13 grands (we actually have 12 with another due in March), and our extensive ministry/volunteer work. (But goodness–ten babies! You have more energy than I do!) Finding the balance is so tricky, isn’t it? I still struggle with guilt if I say no to something. Do you?

    Comment by Kristi Holl — January 7, 2010 @ 6:28 pm

11. 

    Choice is a wonderful word! I’ve been reading a book that just confirmed what I always thought – the more choices you have, the more likely you are to walk away without choosing anything.
    I think one of my goals for this year is to reduce my choices and focus more effectively, and yes, make sure that each choice moves me towards a goal.

    Comment by Sherryl — January 7, 2010 @ 10:56 pm

12. 

    Sherryl, choice IS a wonderful word! I had to laugh at your choices comment–it works in all aspects of our lives. I’ve even found myself walking away from cereal aisles because there are too many choices, and the same with trying to buy cold medicine (I didn’t want cold and cough, not cold and allergies, not cold and runny nose, not cold and sleeping aid, etc.) I hadn’t thought to apply it to goal-setting, but now that you mention it, it DOES make sense! Too many choices are a little overwhelming sometimes.

    Comment by Kristi Holl — January 8, 2010 @ 3:31 pm

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