November 16, 2009

I’m not now–nor have I ever been–a party animal. I wear no lampshades on my head, don’t dance on tables, and often dress wrong for the occasion. My general MO is to scan the party crowd, find someone I know, then disappear into a corner and have a good, long, in-depth conversation until it’s time to go home.

I’ve discovered that I am much the same way with social networking.  Has anyone else found this?

Hopping Aboard

Some while back, I added a “professional” Facebook site. (I’d had a private “family only” Facebook page for several years.) On my professional page, I now have 203 friends. I know that’s miniscule compared to most authors, but it’s more than I can keep up with. I discovered that this past weekend.

I owe some of you an apology, and I don’t even know who you are! But I was sick much of the weekend, so I was lying on the couch looking at Facebook. I started scrolling down to older postings, and I discovered with horror that I had missed some important messages. I answered the ones I found, like requests for critiques and news that a former student had sold his first book. But I missed one real-life friend’s news that she was in the hospital for three days. By the time I came across it, she was home.

Please, if you left me an important message or question, email me at the Facebook site so I’m sure to see it (instead of writing on my Wall.) I also adjusted the email settings–which I just discovered today–so that Wall comments will come to my personal email.

Too Much of a Good Thing?

Sometimes I still feel overwhelmed. In real life, I have about five close friends. In addition to my family, that’s about all I have time to befriend. I don’t keep tabs on my acquaintances. I wish I had time to read all the Facebook posts of my 203 friends, but I don’t. There aren’t that many free hours in my day. I wonder if I am an anti-social social networker? It’s quite possible.

By the way, I also discovered that my Twitter account had been hacked into. Argh! My apologies to any of you who were sent some silly IQ Test thing. It wasn’t from me! By the time I found the problem and changed the password, I had been reprimanded by a publisher for sending spam. It’s bad enough to be socially inept in your real life. Now you can do it globally without even trying!

How do you handle the social networking you’re involved in? Do you worry about missing important messages in the updates and offending someone? Or does anyone actually have time to read so many posts? I’d be interested to know how you keep up with it all.

12 Comments »

1. 

   Dear Kristi,

   Your recent post has confirmed by decision NOT to participate in social networking. Several psychologists have noted that we can handle probably no more that 25 relationships (the real kind). I can only imagine the tyranny of being “tethered” to FACEBOOK. It’s hard enough to keep up with two email accounts. Yes, it’s the latest “in thing,” but long term, what will be the consequences to our writing and our sanity? Thank you for sharing your recent “nightmare.” Maybe it will help others to take a long hard look before jumping onboard.

   Comment by Anne Bromley — November 16, 2009 @ 5:08 pm

2. 

   I only do online social networking that I enjoy, which means visiting the Blueboard and a few choice blogs. But no, given limited time, I don’t even try to keep up with everything. As in real life, I meet with my close friends on a regular basis but not with acquaintances. So, don’t worry, I think you have plenty of company when it comes to anti-social networking. Count me in that group.

   I hope you’re better soon. Take care.

   Comment by Vijaya — November 16, 2009 @ 6:35 pm

3. 

   The birds of the field do not facebook, neither do they twitter, yet God provides all their needs.

   Enjoy your similar freedom!

   Comment by Beth Mac — November 16, 2009 @ 8:18 pm

4. 

   I don’t keep up, either! But I don’t feel guilty about it. I have accounts in several social networking sites that I haven’t looked at since I created the account! I can’t let social networking, fun that it is, keep me from more important things. If people really want to get in touch, they can email or phone. How old fashioned!

   Comment by Jane Healy — November 16, 2009 @ 9:02 pm

5. 

   Took a break from NaNo to check comments, and I had to smile at the “birds of the air” comment. They actually DO twitter and tweet–but they do it face to face (er, beak to beak). I see them on (telephone) lines, but not online!

   There are just so many hours in the day. Unless you have a personal assistant to handle Facebook, LinkedIn, ShoutLife, Twitter, JacketFlap, Amazon Profile, etc., you’re better off choosing one or maybe two, and skipping the rest for now. Just my opinion.

   Comment by Kristi Holl — November 17, 2009 @ 10:03 am

6. 

   Kristi,

   The only thing I can say is that if I weren’t on a social network site, I might have missed having you as a resource to turn to. So, personally I’m glad you are on Facebook. Have a great day now.

   Peg Finley/peg366

   Comment by Peg366 — November 17, 2009 @ 12:52 pm

7. 

   Peg, that is something good for me to keep in mind. I forget that social networking goes and flows both ways. I’m glad you found me on FB!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — November 18, 2009 @ 12:04 pm

8. 

   I agree that you really have to pick and choose what social networking in which to participate. One is all I can handle (Facebook) and I have to be careful not to spend too much time. I hope your writing goes well the rest of the week, and that you are feeling better. I totally understand how hard it is to write when you’re sick!

   Comment by Jennifer R. — November 18, 2009 @ 8:37 pm

9. 

   Kristi, I’m like you! My favourite thing online is either personal email, or BLOGS! I love blogging. Facebook annoys me so much, but I do have it. What I’ve discovered is that you can post private messages to people on Facebook, and then you don’t have to look for posts! So that’s what I do now. It’s wonderful. I also found out how to remove old posts, so I did that recently and cleaned up my page. If you run your mouse over the right hand side of the column where the posts are, a “Remove” sign appears magically. I discovered this last week! I didn’t know it was there.
   Hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving! We celebrated ours back on Oct 12th.

   Comment by Loretta Houben — November 19, 2009 @ 9:39 am

10. 

    25 close-knit friends/family, that’s a very interesting ballpark figure! Kristi, keep your blog rolling. I love it!

    Comment by Joe Sottile — November 21, 2009 @ 12:34 am

11. 

    I dread the time I’ll have to get a Facebook account and enter the social network world. I tend to be a private person who releases personal information reluctantly.

    And with all the regular writer/editor/agent blogs I visit, where can I find the time to just chit chat? Yikes!

    Comment by Kathy — November 26, 2009 @ 6:14 pm

12. 

    Yes, finding the time is the big thing, as everyone seems to agree. You can’t do it all!

    Kathy, you can have two Facebook accounts if you want. I have a private one with just my kids and in-laws, where I put the private stuff and family pics. No one else can see that one. The “public” one that I use for writing sticks to nonpersonal stuff and writing stuff. I’m like you. I’m not willing to live in a fishbowl.

    Comment by Kristi Holl — November 27, 2009 @ 6:19 am

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