Writers First Aid

Fighting to Focus

October 9, 2009

refrigerator After receiving a couple of pieces of very unwelcome news last weekend, it took me the better part of this week to regain my writing focus.

Most mornings were spent getting my mental and spiritual act together, which resulted in having to work till very late at night to complete some projects with deadlines. I got the work done, but I didn’t enjoy any of it.

Today I found myself very mad–at ME.

Time for a Change

Neither situation last weekend was my fault. I didn’t cause either thing, I couldn’t cure either problem, and I can’t control what those people are still doing. So it really, really irritated me that I spent so many hours this week thinking, reading, praying, and journaling about it.

I’ve always been this way, as far back as age four, the earliest I can remember. Obsessive thinking doesn’t help the other person, and it sure doesn’t help me. It robs us of hours and hours of productive, HAPPY times. And for writers, it robs our time to write, our relaxed ability to create, and a focused mind so necessary for our projects.

Enough is Enough!

Yesterday I read a quote that really got me to thinking. In The Little Book of Letting Go by Hugh Prather, it said: “We talk to children about the ‘power of the imagination.’ We attend seminars that tell us our minds have immense reserves of untapped capacity. All in all, we have done a superb job of kidding ourselves that in our roomy ‘attic’ all is useful, worth keeping, and in good repair. But if we observe our minds closely for just one hour, we see that instead of a boundless chamber of magic and wonder, our minds are more like stuffed and stodgy refrigerators that emit peculiar odors.”

It’s time to clean out my refrigerator. I’ve come to realize that all this obsessive thinking and worrying is a life-long bad habit. It’s not a mental illness that needs a pill. It’s not an emotional illness that needs counseling. It’s a bad habit–and habits can be broken.

Identify the Culprit First

I’ve broken lots of harmful habits in the past, and nearly every time it involved discovering the lie I was believing about something. We all have them. (The obese person may believe the lie that “gorging myself will bring comfort.” The procrastinator believes the lie that “I work better under pressure.” The rescuing mom believes the lie that her grown children shouldn’t/couldn’t be responsible for themselves.)

Time to dig into this stinky “mind” refrigerator and find the spoiled junk emitting the odors. Look out! Don’t stand behind me. There’s gonna be some bad stuff chucked outta here!

Post tags: creativity, distractions, emotional balance, families, habits, self-care, writing challenges, writing habits

Posted in: families,focusing,writing challenges,writing habits | | Comments (13)

13 Comments »

If we don’t train our imaginations to work for us, and if they are left to their own devices, they will work against us by eating up our time with worry, troubling imaginations, and mental scenarios concerning people we’re dealing with.

I think most people don’t realize that the imagination is a part of you which you can direct and train. God gave us an imagination not so that it can run away with us, but so we can use it to see things mentally before we physically see things. (There’s that faith thing!) Perhaps as writers we have developed our imaginations for story purposes, but we have to rein them in for real life so they don’t take over when we need them to quiet down.

Comment by Beth Mac — October 9, 2009 @ 8:19 am
Beth, you’re so right! And pretty much every gift or talent we have can be used for good or ill. (e.g. being critical makes us good editors but difficult mothers!) “Reining in the imagination” is a good way to put it!

Comment by Kristi Holl — October 9, 2009 @ 9:09 am
Hi Kristi,

Great post… I find myself in this situation more than I care to admit & I have always wondered why I couldn’t break out of the cycle. I didn’t see it as a bad habit.

Thanks for the insight – you’re right bad habits can be broken & this is one habit I intend to toss out…

Ally

Comment by Ally M — October 9, 2009 @ 9:39 am
Ally, I’m not saying that sometimes there isn’t a place for deeper cleaning, but I knew that I’d had years or counseling, and it was just time to stop this unprofitable obsessing. I think part of the reason life whizzes by us is because we’re not in the NOW, but worried about the past or future. But NOW is a great time to clean the fridge!

Comment by Kristi Holl — October 9, 2009 @ 10:01 am
Good Luck, Kristi. I don’t know why it’s so easy to develop bad habits and it takes ten times the effort and time to break them. I struggle with that.

Comment by Vijaya — October 9, 2009 @ 10:50 am
Vijaya, that’s a very good question!!!! Our default position certainly seems to be toward UNhelpful habits. Oh well, nothing in life worth having was ever easy.

Comment by Kristi Holl — October 9, 2009 @ 1:32 pm
Wow! I’ve had one of those weeks, too. Thanks for a new perspective.

Comment by Deanna — October 9, 2009 @ 9:11 pm
It is a habit, isn’t it? We somehow believe that by thinking and thinking about the problem person, having imaginary conversations where we “sort them out”, or by writing about it – one of those things will magically make it all better.
But the problem is inside ourselves, that by not being able to let go, we actually hold onto it, and it continues to bring us down to the lowest level.
I wish there was a magic way to stop – I’m contemplating writing myself a how-to guide, while I’m feeling sensible about it, ready to read when I fall back into that bad old habit. I don’t want to lose my creative energy anymore either!

Comment by Sherryl — October 10, 2009 @ 12:39 am
Deanna, you’re welcome.

Sherryl, I hear ya! Actually, I DO have a sorta self-help small journal where I’ve taken copious notes from various books over the years. You know, the one or two things you might get an AHA! moment from out of each book you read. Sometimes I make a deal with myself. I have to read through all those notes–takes at least an hour–before I am allowed a meltdown. Surprising how grounded and calm I am before getting through all the notes. I need to do that EVERY time something happens!

Comment by Kristi Holl — October 10, 2009 @ 8:02 am
Sometimes when I’m stuck in something like this and realize I’m spinning my wheels, I give myself a time limit and let myself wallow for X amount of time. When the time’s up, I’m done. Time to move on. This has worked pretty well for me. Best to all who try to conquer this!

Comment by Jane Heitman Healy — October 10, 2009 @ 10:53 am
So true, Vijaya!!!!

Comment by Beth Mac — October 11, 2009 @ 1:04 pm
Thank you, I never thought of it as a bad habit. I thought everything that was happening around me and to me was stopping my creativity. But it was me stopping my creativity. I needed someone to say get grounded with a time out for me. This will help now and in the future when things seem to go crazy.

Comment by lilly wexler — October 11, 2009 @ 1:09 pm
For me, the matter of consistency is a biggie. The days that I pounce on the thought and interrupt it quickly go very well. Then, after several self-controlled days, I seem to throw caution to the winds and have a Worry Fest! How quickly the mood nose dives then! I guess they say that you have to have consistent behavior for 21 days to break a habit. Let’s do that–starting now!

Comment by Kristi Holl — October 11, 2009 @ 4:26 pm