September 28, 2009

I’m back home after seeing Laurie off to her deployment. This will be a catch-up day for marking lessons, but first I wanted to thank the many blog readers who commented last week or emailed from my website about Laurie. Your caring and your prayers are soooo appreciated by our whole family.

It was a special three days with Laurie, and I got to see her more than I had mentally prepared myself for. It’s always a lovely surprise when life exceeds our expectations! You can see a couple of photos of us here and click on them to enlarge them.

Writing and Families

I’ve long suspected that writers juggling family issues is a much bigger challenge than writers trying to figure out how to plot or write sparkling dialogue or deepen characterization. Being able to focus when life is “happening” to your loved ones is a bigger challenge to me–and always has been.

We flew to Phoenix to see Laurie, then drove her car home to store here (a fourteen-hour drive). I decided ahead of time how I was going to practice what I always preach to my students and make good use of my time. I took along a huge bag of books (which made me re-think buying a Kindle!) I had a middle-grade Newbery book to read, a book on writer’s voice, and a fun adult mystery.

Using the reward system I’ve blogged about, I spent fifteen minutes on the voice book and exercises, then fifteen minutes on the Newbery book, and then rewarded myself with the adult mystery for fun. When my eyes gave out, we listened to a book on tape in the car. (I realized I was blessed by two things: a quiet husband who likes to drive and the ability to read without becoming car sick.) Yes, I interspersed a lot of praying for Laurie, but then I got back to making good use of this rare long period of quiet.

Heading into the Year

I know from past experience that this year will be difficult. I worried myself sick through Laurie’s first deployment. I was better the second time. And this time I’m determined to pray a lot more, worry a lot less, and get a lot more writing done.

I don’t know what challenges you are personally facing, either in your own family and marriage and health or with someone else’s. But I encourage you to do whatever is necessary so that it doesn’t overtake your writing life. It so easily can, but with enough determination and the grace of God, it doesn’t have to.

7 Comments »

1. 

   Family upheaval does make it impossible to write – your brain and all of your emotions are so wrapped up in what is happening that there is nothing left for creating. Even day-to-day family life can be so draining and stressful that it stops writers in their tracks.
   Your approach is a great example – we can’t solve our worries by building them up and making ourselves sick. We can only manage them the best we can, and try hard to save a creative space inside ourselves for writing. Take care.

   Comment by Sherryl — September 28, 2009 @ 3:32 pm

2. 

   Thank you for sharing the pictures, Kristi. And as always, you give wonderful advice. I do like doing what I can to help and leaving the rest to God.
   God bless you both.

   Comment by Vijaya — September 28, 2009 @ 3:37 pm

3. 

   God’s blessings to Laurie in her deployment and to you and the family here.

   Comment by Jennifer Rumberger — September 28, 2009 @ 5:04 pm

4. 

   Thank you, Sherryl, Vijaya and Jennifer. I appreciate your comments. Most people have something personal they’re dealing with. Actually you’re lucky if there’s only one thing at a time! Being able to focus is both an art and a necessity if you want to write.

   Comment by Kristi Holl — September 28, 2009 @ 8:59 pm

5. 

   My work is writing, and though I don’t always enjoy my work (Web content writing-arghhh!), sometimes my work has saved me.

   Well, work and faith. (Oh, and long lunches with a friend. But then it’s right back to work

   Comment by Cathy C. Hall — September 28, 2009 @ 9:23 pm

6. 

   Thank you for sharing, Kristi. Continued thoughts go out to your family.

   Comment by Yvette — September 29, 2009 @ 7:50 pm

7. 

   I missed this post in September. Thanks so much for writing it. It encourages me. And my thoughts & prayers go with you & your daughter. You must be very proud of her.

   Comment by Kathie Langston — October 5, 2009 @ 2:29 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website