June 24, 2009

This week I reviewed my goals notebook, the one I set up late last December. Even though I’ve accomplished half of the goals for the year–and the year is only half over–I felt more a sense of failure than success.

I found it puzzling…until a writer friend emailed me a link to a newsletter that discussed five reasons why goal-setting caused problems.

Shooting Ourselves in the Foot?

I’d love to have you read “When Goals Fall Flat” and then give me your feedback. In part, it says:

Goal setting, as a tool, has its utility. We all need a compass. We all need a dream that excites the living daylights out of us, helping us spring out of bed in the morning with vibrancy and enthusiasm.

[But] in my work with top executives, surgeons, artists, and athletes, I see too many people held back by goal setting; people who use this tool to set laundry lists of exercises and meaningless accomplishment measures. They are unsatisfied with their careers, out of balance between work and life.

The reason? Goal setting has five significant downsides when it comes to happiness, exuberance, and a true sense of fulfillment.

Pause and Consider

If you read the article’s five “downsides” of goal-setting, let me know in the comments what you thought of them. I think there is a lot of wisdom in this article–and the ideas presented there are worth “chewing” on. It helped me pinpoint a couple problems in my own mindset and correct them. Hope you find it helpful too!

13 Comments »

1. 

   Hi Kristi,
   True to the point, this article. Although I don’t have anything to do anymore with goal setting as in commercial business, I recognize it in something more basic and day-to-day: making to-do lists. They can be just as treacherous. Once in a while it feels good to make one, to structure a feeling of chaos in my head. Often by making this to-do list, an overwhelming feeling of ‘I have too much to do’ already subsides – without actually having accomplished any of the to-do items. The moment of setting op a to-do list simply creates peace and quiet in my head.

   But I did learn that trying to follow up on this list, causes more stress and a feeling of dissatisfaction than before that list existed. Each time I crossed of one item, I added another two. It never ends. Of course it doesn’t – our lives exists of doing things. Instead of a rewarding feeling of crossing off, there is the desperate feeling of new ones being added. It created a feeling of never doing enough, never doing it quick enough, etc.

   Solution: I just quit. I make the list every once in a while as to give a sense of direction where [in broad lines] priorities lie. Then I put it away and go on with whatever I was doing or wanted to do. Works for me.

   I do remember it from my working days at a firm, where as a manager I had to set up these one-year goals for my department. That process was fun, sit down with the employees and discuss what direction you want to take. Looking back, most problems were solved during those sessions. The result was a sense of direction. The biggest mistake was wanting to cross the goals off once a week. Big frustration. One session every three months to go over it with my team was much better and in fact a joyful and constructive process.

   Comment by Karin-Marijke — June 24, 2009 @ 9:54 am

2. 

   Karin, you gave so much wisdom there. Thank you so much for the lengthy post and sharing your experiences. I have been a list maker forever. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that I was born with a pencil and pad of paper in my hands, all set to organize the delivery staff. Like you, lately I have been chafing against it, finding it to add stress instead of alleviate it. Food for thought! You confirmed a few things I had begun to suspect.

   Comment by Kristi Holl — June 24, 2009 @ 10:47 am

3. 

   Good article. Part of what I took away from it was that goals themselves aren’t bad, but write them in pencil and be willing to flex with them as your life and dreams change. Accomplishing your goals isn’t necessarily the goal… LOL!

   I dealt with this recently while working on my novel. I had all these goals on what chapter to finish when. Then, I got frustrated with the way it was going and tried to rework some aspects of the plot. I finally changed the voice to first person and it gave the project new life! Now, rather than working on chapter 13, I need to go back to chapter 1 and incorporate those changes. I can’t be a slave to my initial goals, but be willing to flex and go in a new direction. I can tend to be somewhat of a legalist in adhering to my own goals, so that’s a challenge at times.

   Thanks for sharing the article!

   Comment by Amy Simon — June 24, 2009 @ 11:42 am

4. 

   Amy, you said it well: you need to “flex” with goals. I, too, can be very rigid with goals, but then along comes a novel that “wants” to change (like yours) or health issues or whatever. I, too, have a novel that I re-started twice, and it’s finally heading in a good direction. I won’t achieve the goal I originally set–but with the economy right now, I don’t think it will matter! No one is currently beating down my door wondering where the next novel is. By the time that happens, hopefully it will be done!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — June 24, 2009 @ 2:51 pm

5. 

   Yeah, goal setting works…IF
   1) There is an emotional commitment to the goal. That is, it is more than a distant dream.
   2) Daily and weekly habits are formed to support that goal. This is where most people who set but don’t achieve goals fail.
   3) We have partners to help us keep our difficult habits. Essentially, we are adding the discipline and accountabilty of others to our own faltering self discipline.

   I used these three steps to write my first book. And I give away a free goal setting worksheet here:
   http://www.the-life-plan.com/Goal_Setting_Worksheet.pdf
   No, you don’t even need to give your email address.

   Comment by Goal Setting Worksheet — June 24, 2009 @ 10:13 pm

6. 

   Thanks for the goal-setting worksheet and your three-point tip! I would definitely agree that it’s the daily things you do (or don’t do) that will make or break you. The power of good habits and moral support from a good accountability partner can’t be over-estimated!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — June 25, 2009 @ 7:58 am

7. 

   I thought this article was great. It explained to me why I never could get myself to work with goals and to-do-lists. Now I won’t have to feel that I am lazy, or making excuses because I don’t want to do something and will not need to feel guilty.

   Comment by Christine Cassello — June 25, 2009 @ 2:27 pm

8. 

   Christine, anything that helps us get over false guilt is a good thing!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — June 25, 2009 @ 6:00 pm

9. 

   Well, Kristi, I am, once again, struck by a touch of synchronicity here. I’ve been reading “Career Clinic”-8 Simple Rules for Finding Work you Love. And there are quite a few parallels between the book and the goals article, namely, that we get caught up in extrinsic rather than the intrinsic. What’s funny is that we KNOW what makes us unhappy… ie. we KNOW when our goals are actually limiting us, but like the guy in the article asking for help, we’re afraid to listen to our own hearts. Anyway, since I’m getting similar messages from different directions, I think I better start listening more carefully…

   As for my own goals, I’ve always been a goal-oriented gal, but as someone else commented, I’ve also learned to be flexible. It was either be flexible or go to bed every night feeling inadequate. So I sleep the sleep of the adequate and wake up to tackle the same goals for three or four days in a row!

   Comment by Cathy C. Hall — June 25, 2009 @ 9:29 pm

10. 

    Cathy, I loved your comment about how you now “sleep the sleep of the adequate” and wake up to go at it again. I love that attitude! Yes, I also feel inadequate when I quit at the end of a long day of writing, but there are still so many things on my list left undone. (Never mind that the list would have taken four people to do in the first place!) Listening to our inner promptings is so important, isn’t it? Thanks for your comment!

    Comment by Kristi Holl — June 26, 2009 @ 10:23 am

11. 

    Your blog is a treasure! Thank you for sharing your valuable experience. You are bookmarked! Now please excuse me as I explore. I get to do a little reading.

    Comment by Melanie Adams — June 26, 2009 @ 11:02 am

12. 

    I thought it was a great article. Bottom line to me is that goals should be merely a means to an end, never the end. They help us break our dreams down into bite sized pieces. I too have been lost in huge to-do lists; I try to limit myself to 3 things on my list at a time now. Seems to help. Oh and my other big thing - celebrating the “ta-das” - learning to rejoice in that which I accomplish. Helps me lay down the scourge for a bit

    Comment by Dianne — June 29, 2009 @ 5:06 am

13. 

    Dianne, I think limiting your to-do list sounds like a great idea. Three is about the number I manage these days! I must try the celebrating too–why do we forget such an obvious step? Thanks for the reminder!

    Comment by Kristi Holl — July 1, 2009 @ 2:48 pm

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