May 29, 2009

There’s more to dealing with procrastination than snarling at yourself to “just do it!” I know because I’ve been snarling that line at myself for ten days. Today I feel like snarling at everybody else too! I’m caught in the procrastination trap and trying to get out.

I read something helpful about it last night. Did you know procrastination is a cycle with predictable stages? It isn’t just one feeling with one cause. That’s the bad news. I think the good news is that you can interrupt that cycle. The “how-to” depends on what part of the cycle you’re in.

Stages of Procrastination

The vicious cycle of putting things off goes like this:

• starts with feeling overwhelmed
• pressure mounts
• we fear failing at whatever we’re putting off
• we buckle down and try harder
• we work longer hours
• we feel resentful
• we get tired and lose motivation
• and then we procrastinate

Wow! I always thought the “buckle down and try harder and work longer hours” part was good! It’s how I’ve survived all these years. I certainly never considered it part of a procrastination habit or cycle.

But the cycle rings true for me–and is really giving me something to think about. “The cycle starts with the pressure of being overwhelmed and ends with an attempt to escape through procrastination,” says Neil Fiore, Ph.D. in The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Porcrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play. “As long as you’re caught in the cycle, there is no escape.”

Warning Signs of Procrastination

“But I don’t procrastinate,” you may say. Maybe. Maybe not. As I read through the list of thirty-five symptoms in the book, I realized with great shock that I responded yes to about three-fourths of the questions! (It was a shock because for thirty years, people have told me what a hard worker I was, how organized I was, etc.) But I had not considered these behaviors as symptoms of procrastination.

Things like…

• Do you keep an impossibly long “to do” list?
• Do you talk to yourself in “shoulds”?
• Are you often late arriving at meetings and dinners?
• Do you have difficulty knowing what you really WANT for yourself, but are clear about what you SHOULD want?
• Do you find that you’re never satisfied with what you accomplish?
• Do you feel deprived–always working or feeling guilty about not working?
• Do you demand perfection even on low-priority work?
• Do you feel ineffective in controlling your life?

In my book Writer’s First Aid, I maintained that you can’t find a solution to a writing problem until you’ve correctly identified the problem, and then the root cause. If someone had told me that I was a procrastinator, I would have laughed until recently. But I have to admit that the questions hit home, and I definitely recognize that cycle of feelings! Could it be that the burn-out I’ve felt this year comes from a life lived in the procrastination cycle?

I’ll be exploring the ideas for correcting this habit in coming weeks. The idea of not living in that cycle of pressure puts a little spring in my step today!

May 27, 2009

For ten straight days after returning from England, I didn’t sleep more than three or four hours per night. At first I thought it was severe jet lag, but as the days passed, I realized it was something else. I came home to a pile of work, multiple appointments, and various deadlines. When I awoke at 2 a.m., my mind was already racing about what to tackle first.

Wound Up or Winding Down?

One good thing that came from the insomnia is that I finished that terrific book, The Relief of Imperfection by Joan C. Webb. Near the end, she admitted, “Even after many years of more relaxed thinking and behavior, I still sometimes wonder how I’ll accomplish my goals if I let up.”

Yes! I know that other writers wonder the same thing. My students wonder about it–from the young moms to the retired teachers. My writer friends wonder about it. If we slow down–if we try to live a more balanced life–can we get it all done? Is it really possible?

Get Your Spring Back

Webb uses a great story in her book to illustrate her belief that unwinding and relaxing and slowing down can actually make you more effective in your work. This is the legend:

One morning a hunter stumbled over a man seated under a tree and playing with a small tame bird. “Why, you’re the apostle John,” exclaimed the hunter. “I’m surprised that an important and dedicated man like you would be out wasting your time.”

John looked up at the tall stranger and asked, “Why have you left that bow dangling on your shoulder?”

“Well, don’t you know?” replied the hunter. “If I kept it continually pulled tight, it would lose its spring and become ineffective.”

John chuckled and said, “That’s the reason I play with this bird.”

That really struck a chord with me–I knew I was continually pulled tight inside. What about you? Is your bow continually tight? Are you afraid to let it go slack for a while? I thought about that illustration for a couple of days, then decided to try an experiment.

Loosen Up

Over Memorial Day weekend, I worked a bit, rested a bit, rode bikes a bit, worked a bit more, played a bit, ate healthier food, and left the bow dangling on my shoulder periodically. The result? I got some office work done, but more importantly, I finally unwound. Saturday night I slept nine hours.

Instead of jumping back into bad habits, I’m continuing this week to keep my bow a bit slack from time to time throughout the day. I’m astounded at the improvement in how I feel. I might not be accomplishing quite as much writing and marketing each day, but I’ve eliminated the headaches and back pain. It’s all getting done–it always does, you know–and the quality is actually better.

Stop and take a moment to assess the tightness of your own bow today. Giving it a bit of slack now might very well help you hit that bull’s-eye later.

May 25, 2009

Happy Memorial Day to everyone! How much we owe to those who fought (and sometimes died) to ensure our freedoms. May we not take them for granted!

On the Home Front

Well, it’s official. I heard recently that my daughter will be heading back to Iraq in September for her third deployment there. She just returned from Iraq in December, and I’ve hardly caught my breath before it’s time to brace myself to say good-bye again.

Why so soon? Laurie was pulled from her military police unit last time to accompany a medical unit. Her MP unit stayed in the States. Now it’s the MP’s time to go, and as their leader, she’s choosing to return with them. She could have refused since she just got back, but … (”Mom, some of them are so young,” she explained at the ripe old age of just-turned-thirty.)

“Oh Say, Can You See…?”

Thank you to all of you who have given time to serve our country, to those of you with loved ones in the military (past and present), and to those of you whose family members gave the ultimate sacrifice. I feel your pride. Because of their courage, we are, as we sang in church yesterday, the “land of the free and home of the brave.”

God bless you all.

May 22, 2009

Yesterday in my critique group, we were comparing stories about how long it is taking lately for our publishers to respond to our submissions or queries. Right now, each of us is experiencing a huge “non-response” in some way.  (In my own case, three people that didn’t get back to me had been “let go” in down-sizing moves.) No writer I know is exempt from the economic upheaval of our times.

The news is grim for writers, wherever you turn. Predictions make your heart sink, and you may wonder if you’re just beating your head against a brick wall if you keep writing. I read something this morning–from a weight loss newsletter, of all things–that put this question in perspective for me.

Are You Nuts?

The opening quote said: “The mighty oak was once a nut that stood its ground.” (unknown source) It was followed by:

On July 24, 2004, there was a 0% chance of rain in Cincinnati. No way was it going to rain, according to the people who should know best. You know what? Despite millions of dollars worth of sensors, computers, and forecasting systems, the weather experts were wrong. It rained, against all odds. This is not a criticism of weather people. It’s just a reminder of all the people who were given 0% chance of making it by the “experts,” but who succeeded anyway. Whenever accomplishments are on the line, there are always voices whispering, preaching–even shouting–that it can’t be done. Sometimes, that voice is coming from inside our own heads. If you’re having doubts about your abilities, just remember: How many times have the naysayers been proven wrong? No matter what anyone says–no matter what you might believe–it can be done. The nut can become a tree. There’s always a chance of rain.

Stand Your Ground

Until the dust settles economically, I urge you to continue writing, to continue studying and improving your craft, and to maintain your good writing habits. The tide will turn again. When it does, and publishers begin to buy once more, you’ll be ready with your best submissions.

Whether you’re still an acorn writer with lots of potential, or a half-grown oak, continue to follow your dream. Don’t let others’ negative opinions and predictions determine the state of your goals and writing life.

May 20, 2009

How many voices try to tell you what to write, when to write, and how to write? What voices do you listen to?

This morning I was reading a section of stories called “Obedient to One Voice” in the book Behind the Stories by Diane Eble. One author (Patricia Sprinkle) talked about her dream to write mystery fiction, but that for six years she wrote anything but fiction. She took any assignment that offered to help pay the bills. “And it was a struggle in every way, including financially. But then when I started writing fiction, things began to work out. Again and again, when I choose to do what I truly believe I need to be doing instead of listening to what all the voices around me are saying, God is incredibly faithful in confirming that this is what I need to be doing.”

Various Voices

Sometimes we lose sight of the joy in our work–we can even experience a dreadful writer’s block–if we listen to the wrong voices. It’s true that we can all learn from others, and we need to be able to take constructive criticism. BUT the voice deciding the course of your career, your subject matter, and how you present it should be your voice.

Sometimes we allow voices of parents and other family members to dictate what we should write or judge whether our stories are “good enough.” Extremely few relatives are qualified to judge your writing. Parents may be trying to live their dreams through you; siblings may be jealous. Whether you’re fifteen or fifty, you may still be allowing family members to make your writing choices for you.

Sometimes we allow suggestions from our critique group to change our manuscripts, even when their ideas don’t ring true at all for us. Or we knuckle under to the more experienced (or outspoken) writer in the group, writing humor (because he loves humor) and giving up our historical mystery idea (because historical anything is too hard to sell.) It can be difficult to go against the group opinion, but think carefully before you toss your idea overboard.

Sometimes, like Jane Austen, we’re told by publishers and editors (in magazines, at conferences) that certain themes are popular now and make the most money. Our desires (our themes and subject matter) now sound old-fashioned or boring. Will we scrap our passion for science-fiction set in Italy to write gothic romance in the moors then? Not if you want to enjoy your writing.

Is there a voice you can trust? Yes, I believe there is. Go back to when the writing bug first bit you. What did you like to write? What subjects intrigued you? What was your writing process like? How did you like to write–barefoot in pajamas, longhand in bed, on a laptop at the library? If you were following your inner voice, you probably experienced a level of excitement about your writing that stands out in your memory.

The Voice of Your Choice

“If you find yourself blocked and uncertain as to what to do, could it be that the voices of other people are drowning out the voice of the Lord?” Patricia asks. “Is God asking you to take  a step of faith in a direction others may not understand? The choice is yours. There’s a safety on one side but on the other, freedom and joy beckon.”

May 18, 2009

Earlier this month, I wrote about “Keeping Up with Ourselves” and subsequently ordered the book The Relief of Imperfection by Joan C. Webb. I’ve only read the first 85 pages, but I’m loving it so far!

Did you know that, contrary to popular belief, workaholics (and the sub-group writer-holics) don’t work all the time? In fact the term can describe “any person who is driven to do too much, whether that person works sixty hours a week or runs around like a chicken with its head cut off…Some work addicts appear motionless, but their minds are racing.” (Diane Fassel in Working Ourselves to Death.)

Three Faces of Writer-holics

While my goal and life-long desire as a writer has been to be consistent with my writing output, it is seldom that way. Sometimes I work long hours with a huge output (like NaNoWriMo month), sometimes it’s in spurts, and sometimes approaching deadlines make me freeze (afraid that I can’t do what I promised in the contract.) I knew my writing output was sporadic, but I thought each style was a problem by itself. I am beginning to see that they’re all just different faces of perfectionism.

Obsessive Writers

This writer works long hours, taking on project after project. She feels compelled to do what she needs to do to keep going. I used to blame it on the financial needs of raising children alone–and that certainly contributed to the pressure–but after the need passed, the behavior remained. According to Webb, “it is a matter of identity for her. If she stopped to rest, it would prove she is inferior, lazy or both–and that would be unthinkable.” BINGO.

Binge Writers

This writer works in spurts, but with great intensity and energy and focus. These intense bursts of work are sometimes (for the writer-holic) ways to avoid dealing with other issues (children’s problems, marital woes, a looming health concern). “Work, projects, tasks and accomplishments become the medication of choice so that she doesn’t have to feel her emotions, deal with her disappointments or ask deep questions,” says Webb. I’m guilty of this one too–maybe not as much as in the past, but it’s definitely a factor.

Anorexic Writers

Deadlines can often turn me into this type of writer. The perfectionist in me isn’t satisfied with writing “sh****” rough drafts, as Anne Lamott calls them in Bird by Bird. After having had 35 books published, you’d think this would no longer be an issue! But it is. Webb contends that the work anorexic is “afraid she’ll do it wrong, so she procrastinates, and the resulting guilt immobilizes her.”

What Type Are You?

Do you identify with any of the above perfectionistic descriptions of writers? (If so, these tendencies probably show up in how you  approach other things in your life, like your fitness efforts and your relationships.) I hope you’ll leave a comment and share your own experiences in this area. I’m hooked on this book, looking forward to the “relief of imperfection,” and will blog about some solutions soon!

May 15, 2009

Surprise! I just returned from ten days in England!

We visited homes of famous authors, Chepstow and Goodrich castles, the Tintern Abbey ruins, Stonehenge, Salisbury Cathedral, and Oxford. We hiked in Wales along the Wye River, rode trains, navigated the Underground in London, and learned to drive on the left side of the road. My absolute favorite times were visiting Jane Austen’s homes in Bath and Chawton Village, plus a 90-minute private tour of C.S. Lewis’ home by the wonderful warden of The Kilns. (More about the Lewis home later.)

Our super-generous children gave us plane tickets to the U.K. last year for our annivesary, and I planned and saved for this trip all year. I didn’t mention it before we left because I’d heard that burglars were high tech now and read blogs to find out when people would be leaving their homes unattended. I left my computer behind, and a friend posted my pre-written blog entries. (Thank you, Joanna!) I didn’t even check email when gone. I wanted to immerse myself in the worlds of Jane Austen and C.S. Lewis–and it was pure heaven on earth.

Kinship of Writers

Jane’s home in Chawton was where she revised Sense & Sensibility and Pride & Prejudice for publication. Here she also wrote Emma, Persuasion, Mansfield Park and part of another novel before becoming ill. After visiting Jane’s house in Chawton, I felt a kinship with her. She lived in the kind of home I would have loved (see below): several hundred years old, two stories, cozy fireplaces in every room, big flower and vegetable gardens, set on a cobblestone street lined with tiny shops and thatched-roof cottages.

Her writing desk (above–seen behind glass) was tiny. I was struck by the contrast between her small desk, just big enough for her paper and ink well, and my two desks back home covered with computers, printers, books, notebooks, and assorted junk. Jane had no shelves of how-to writing books, no writing room of her own, no Internet or cell phone.

She wrote in the mornings, after breakfast, before helping her mother and sister with household tasks or visiting or entertaining numerous nieces and nephews. She put her writing first in her day, before it got taken over by friends or family or other obligations. There was a lesson for me!

She also wrote about what she knew and experienced–and what interested her–despite pressure from her publisher to write what would make more money. They wanted gothic and historical romances, not her “simple little stories” about her everyday village life and how several families affected each other. (Remember: although her books are historical to her present-day fans, she was writing contemporary fiction.) Her heroes and heroines who learned about their character flaws and overcame them–like Darcy’s pride and Lizzie’s tendency toward hasty judgments–were considered too tame for the reading public.

Write Your Passion

I loved reading Jane’s responses to the publisher’s pressure. Her replies (there were photocopies of her letters) basically said that she could only write what they wanted if she were literally starving, and even though historical romances might be more popular or profitable than her “domestic stories of country villages…I would be hung before I could finish the first chapter…No, I must keep to my own style and go on in my own way, though I may never succeed again.” Wouldn’t that same publisher be astounded today to see the thousands of fans who still flock to the Jane Austen walking tours in Bath, the Jane Austen Centre, and her home in Chawton, who buy her books and watch movies made of them? Isn’t there a lesson for all writers here?

Perhaps this is what Jane was thinking when she wrote (in Mansfield Park): “We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.”

(I hope this blog makes sense. I’ve been up since 2 a.m. My body still thinks it’s in England–or wishes it was!)

May 13, 2009

For the next few months, I’m going to pursue a different kind of writing goal. I have never done this, so I have no idea if it will come to anything or not. For me, writing (and life) has always been serious business. I am, however, burned out on “serious.” I want writing to be FUN again.

Jumping the Tracks

For the next weeks and months, I’m going to ask myself at the end of the day just one question. It won’t be my usual “How many hours did I write today?” or “How many pages did I write today?” No. I’m going to ask myself, “Did I have FUN writing today?”

I’m tired of To Do lists, written goals to meet, and mile-long checklists. I’ve organized the fun out of the writing, and I want to find ways to recapture it. I’d love YOUR input too, so please leave comments. How do YOU make writing fun? (Or how about an even bigger challenge: how do you make marketing fun?)

The Sky’s the Limit!

I’ve been brainstorming ideas for making the writing fun again.

• write in short, fast spurts (and take breaks between bursts)
• be liberal with rewards for every twenty minutes I write
• write outside in the swing or by the pond
• listen to music while writing (like my favorite Joshua Bell CD)
• write first thing in the morning, no matter what else is on my plate that day

As you can see, my brainstorming didn’t go very far. I am sadly deficient in the fun department some days, but I’d like to get better! I remember, in the beginning before writing was my career, that it was just plain fun. I’d like to recapture that. I hope you’ll share YOUR rituals for keeping your writing fun.

The more fun we have, the more we’ll write. And the more we write, the better we get. And the better we get, the more fun we’ll have.

Now that is MY kind of vicious circle!

May 11, 2009

Wouldn’t you love to know the “story behind the story” of your favorite novels? When you finally finish a “can’t put it down” story, don’t you wonder how the author came up with such a fascinating idea?

Wonder no more! At Backstory blog, you can read dozens of fascinating backstories behind some adult and YA novels of all genres. Notice how often the kernels of the stories were lifted directly from the authors’ real lives. In many, many cases, they followed the tried-and-true adage of “write what you know.”

That was the starting point–and then they played the other tried-and-true game of “What if?” Plot twists and turns soon multiplied.

Please note: these authors didn’t do anything that YOU can’t do as well.

If you’re stuck for story ideas–or wondering how your life events, feelings, and background can be grist for the writing mill–check out this blog. You may just get a few flashes of insight after reading the “where do you get your ideas?” posts at Backstory.

May 8, 2009

My weekend gift to you today is a link to another website featuring “100 Killer Blog Posts to Help You Achieve Your Dreams.” The articles are divided into categories, from motivation and goals to attitudes and fitness. Are you having trouble being motivated to pursue the goals you set for 2009? Then look no further!

Sometime this weekend, get a good cup of coffee and put your feet up, either at home or your local Border’s or B & N cafe, and soak up the collective wisdom.

And have a terrific weekend!

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