February 27, 2009

The writing is flowing, you’re accomplishing your daily word counts, you’re in the flow! Then, without warning, you take a nose dive. You spiral downward to crash and burn. Your writing comes to a screeching halt. Why?

Silent Sabotage

This phenomenon happens when we least expect it. Silent sabotage comes in many varieties. Here are some of the most common forms for writers.

• You’re doing well on your writing (your output, your class work, your marketing, etc.) Love those productive days! Then a little voice in your head whispers, “You know it’ll never last. It’s just a matter of time before you’re blocked again. Might as well give up now-you’ll never make it.”
• You plan to write your blog and study online writers’ guidelines, but you realize you’ve been surfing the Web for half an hour of your “writing” time. You only had an hour to write, and you’ve wasted half of it! How discouraging. A feeling of hopelessness sweeps over you. The voice whispers, “Well, today is blown. You can’t get anything done in the little time you have left. Might as well keep surfing.”
• You’ve finally finished the story or book manuscript. You’ve worked hard, and success feels great. What a high! The voice whispers, “You deserve a reward, a break from the computer.” So you don’t write the next day…or the next…or the following week or month. Your break turns into a full-blown block, and you just can’t get started again.

Voice Message

So what can you do about this silent sabotage, this automatic negative thinking? Remember, where the mind goes, the man follows. If you don’t want to crash and burn your writing schedule, what voice messages can replace the sabotage?

• When things are going well, pat yourself on the back. Remind yourself that “slow and steady wins the race.” If you set goals that are truly achievable on any given day, and you persevere day after day, you will succeed. You will finish that manuscript; you will submit it (and re-submit if necessary.) If you refuse to give up despite rejections, if you are willing to revise, chances are good you will sell it.
• When you’ve wasted your writing time by playing Solitaire or surfing or writing endless emails to friends, tell yourself (like the dieter who splurged), “Well, today wasn’t my best day. I’ll make good use of the time that’s left. Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it. Today’s mistake is limited to today. Tomorrow I will be even more productive.” Stop the slide down that slippery slope of failure.
• When you’ve completed a project and feel the need for a break, schedule it. Choose a reasonable length of time (maybe one day for finishing a short story, or a week after finishing a book.) On your calendar also schedule time on the day you intend to get back to writing. Enjoy the time off, but gear up mentally for returning to work when the vacation time draws to a close.

Be aware of your thoughts, and counter them quickly. Change that voice message. Successful writers have learned how to counter the voices of self-sabotage. You can too!

[What are the voices that torment you? How do you counter them to avoid quitting? Let's share strategies!]

February 25, 2009

We all need help and support for our writing dreams. I have had years where I had ample support from friends and family members, years where I had no support, and years where I had “negative” support. (You know, the helpful comments like “you need to get a real job” and “that first book was just a fluke.”)

Been There, Done That

Even when you have support from spouses, friends, children and/or relatives, that kind of support isn’t always the most helpful to writers. Why? Because they don’t understand the challenges. Your husband or best friend can chant “I know you can do it!” till the cows come home, but some voice inside you will whisper, “What do you really know about the difficulties of getting published?”

Other writers who have been where you are, but have persevered to success, can be more helpful to you than family and friends. You don’t know any other published writers? Neither did I for years and years. My first fourteen years of writing were spent on an Iowa farm with small children and no Internet and no critique group. Still, I found support from other successful writers. You can too.

Searching for Support

I found those successful writers in books. There are many books full of stories about the struggles and successes of writers, past and present. The ones that helped me the most were about writers currently publishing because I knew they’d understand the present-day challenges. (I love reading how Jane Austen and Margaret Mitchell wrote their classics, but today’s publishing process bears little resemblance to publishing during their lives.)

There are general books about all types of writers, and if you prefer, there are books of stories about genre writers. Some on my shelves include:

Chicken Soup for the Writer’s Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Bud Gardner. It has stories about some of my favorite writers: how they got started, the obstacles they overcame, and their words of wisdom for aspiring writers.

The Writer’s Book of Hope: Getting from Frustration to Publication by Ralph Keyes. Every time I experience a setback or rejection, I pick up this book. It is full of stories of the most famous writers of our day–and how they got started, as well as the bumps in the road along the way. This book, more than any other, gave me the realization that rejection and delays happen to every writer, even the most famous, and it’s simply part of the writing life. It finally helped me to stop taking rejection personally.

First-Time Authors edited by Pamela Kelly. This book has 64 children’s writers’ first published pieces. Along with each short story or article (definitely worth studying) is both an author commentary (how they made their first sale) and comments by the editor who actually bought the piece (why it stood out and was published).

Behind the Stories: Christian Novelists Reveal the Heart in the Art of Their Writing by Diane Eble. These behind-the-scenes stories about today’s most prolific Christian novelists talk about their hopes and failures, but also what it means to feel called to write and how to craft stories with impact from a Christian worldview.

Do you have a favorite “support book for writers” of your own? If not, get one! I checked Amazon today, and there are some used books of several titles above for a penny! Even with postage, that’s a steal. There may be such collections of stories about other genres as well. If you have such books–or know of some–please leave a comment!

February 23, 2009

“A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it’s an undo-it-yourself project.”~~Abigail Van Buren

We all have some self-defeating behaviors, and sometimes these behaviors can cause our writing dreams to be grounded. Through my years of writing, I certainly developed some bad habits that are counter-productive to my writing. I’m still working to break a few, but most of them are a thing of the past. We all have those habits, but no matter how or why we acquired them, breaking them is an undo-it-yourself project.

Reasons or Excuses?

Quite often I hear a list of reasons why a writer isn’t writing much–or doesn’t plan to get serious about her writing until a future time. (You know, that fantasy we all harbor somewhere deep inside about endless uninterrupted hours of quiet, someone else fixing the meals, and words flowing like water.)

There will always be reasons not to write–college classes keep you too busy, babies keep you awake, day jobs take your time, teen-agers take your energy, or elderly parents require attention. There will always be reasons to feel depressed about writing: rejections, lack of family support, or poor economic predictions.

It can be good to analyze why you’re not writing. Obviously, if you can’t pinpoint the problem, you will have trouble fixing it. While it’s good to know the reasons, though, don’t let them become an excuse to stay in your miserable non-writing rut.

Plow Past the Problem

Find a way to get past it. Talk to friends. Learn more about your craft. Set goals and deadlines. I pray first, but I don’t stop there. I also take action. (Like yesterday–I finally realized that my restless ants-in-the-pants feeling in my office was nothing more serious than the fact that I had piles of books and magazines everywhere. I don’t create well in chaos, but I’d run out of room. Solution? A new book case and instant organization. The restless block magically disappeared.)

Last month I blogged about Margie Lawson’s online course called “Defeating Self-Defeating Behaviors.” I was dragging and had been for nearly a year, thinking my writing life was about over. The only self-defeating habits I uncovered were severe sleep debt/deprivation, a need for more stretching-type exercise, and a need to give up chocolate and sugar. I kept careful records, promising myself at the end of thirty days that I would go back to the chocolate. I just needed to know if it was contributing to my lethargy and headaches. (Oh, how I secretly hoped it wasn’t so!!!) Well, it was…

I had a bad habit of eating sweets for rewards and pick-me-ups and times I needed soothing. I stayed up too late reading (while eating chocolate), and I always thought stretching exercises (like gentle yoga) were a waste of time. Wrong on all counts! Each one was a big factor in the daily headaches, which I’ve almost licked!

No More Excuses

Breaking those three bad habits became my “undo-it-yourself” projects. Was it fun? No–especially going without chocolate. But I sure don’t miss it like I thought I would. The habits (dare I say excuses?) that interfere with your writing dreams probably aren’t the same as mine, but I can guarantee you one thing. Breaking those habits is going to ultimately be your own “undo-it-yourself” project.

It’s your life. It’s your writing life. No one will create the writing life of your dreams for you. It will require effort of your own–and lots of it. So what are you going to do with your bad writing habits?

My advice is a paraphrased Nike slogan: Just Undo It!

February 20, 2009

“Don’t teach or preach–just tell a good story. Readers want to be entertained–not taught.” I’ve heard that statement many times over the years, at writing conferences and in articles for writers. I have mixed feelings about this.

I don’t like (or read) preachy fiction, but good fiction with a message doesn’t have to preach, does it? I’ll go even further. I don’t believe you can write fiction without teaching something. Children will learn from your fiction. What are kids learning from your stories?

Caught or Taught?

Fiction is like parenting, where more is caught than taught. If you had parents who said, “Never lie” and even punished you for lying–yet cheated on income tax and instructed people to tell callers they weren’t at home–you learned to lie. You learned by watching. How many of us catch ourselves saying things or reacting in harmful ways (harmful to ourselves or others) because we had a parent who demonstrated this quality? (It’s often something we swore we would never do!)

In the same way, I contend that children learn from fiction. I think writers for children need to think about this. I’m not advocating preachy stories where an old wiser soul tells little Johnny or Susie how to behave or what to think or say. I can’t stand stories like that. But I disagree with those who say you should just write to entertain. Why? Because you may not intend to teach anything, but kids will learn from your books and stories.

By Osmosis

Books change lives. As a child, books become part of you like no other reading ever will. And I think all fiction teaches something.

The theme of your book may hint at what you’re teaching, what young readers may “catch” from your story. It may be to “look before you leap” or that “love can overcome hardship” or “laugh and the world laughs with you” or “trials can make you bitter or better.”

Unfortunately (again, in my opinion) some heroes/heroines in children’s books teach things like “it’s cute to mouth off to parents” or “win arguments with sarcastic put-downs.” Authors don’t come out and teach this, but (as with parenting), more is caught than taught. If you’ve done your job as a writer, your characters seem like flesh-and-blood people to kids. Your readers will “catch” things from them whether you set out to teach them anything or not.

Think back to books that impacted you as a child. What did you learn from fiction? Some favorites still on my shelves include:

• Little Women by Louisa May Alcott: I learned how families pulled together in hard times, how to grieve, how Jo’s temper cost her dearly, but also how her imagination and writing gave her such joy.
• The Secret Language by Ursula Nordstrom: I learned how to make friends and a fun way to deal with loneliness.
• Sensible Kate and Blue Willow by Doris Gates: I learned that being sensible or kind can be much more important than being pretty.

What books from your childhood made an impression on you? Why? What did you learn from them?

February 18, 2009

Are you called? Do you feel that your writing–in whatever form–is a calling for you? Or does it feel more like a self-indulgence (especially if it’s not paying the bills or it takes time from your family)?

Over the years, my Institute students have asked how they could tell if they were really meant to write. I’ve struggled with this myself, vacillating between knowing it was what I was meant to do with my life and wondering if it was simply my escape. (Someone once told me that I wrote fiction because I couldn’t deal with real life. That didn’t help my dilemma!)

It’s an important question. There are only so many hours in the day–and so many years in your life. How can you know if writing is meant to be your life–or you should look elsewhere?

How Can You Know?

The other day I read something that was very helpful in sorting through this question. I wish I’d read it years ago. It was in a book of stories about writers called Behind the Stories by Diane Eble. See if this helps you decide:

Perhaps this is the hallmark of a calling: this sense that you are meant to do something, the restlessness that comes when you don’t do it, the deep satisfaction you feel when you do it–whatever “it” is. How do you find “it”? Ask yourself, “What is it I have loved doing, what has given me that sense of satisfaction? What would I do if I had two days to do whatever I wanted? What do I tend to gravitate toward and make time for? What do I feel passionate about? What have I always dreamed of doing? These questions may begin to uncover that thing you do, or would like to do, that is your gift and perhaps your calling.

Called to What?

If you answered “writing” to the questions above, you may still wonder what kind of writing is your calling. Try asking yourself the same questions again to find the kind of writing you’d enjoy the most. What kind of writing gives you the most satisfaction? (Instructing mothers on how to enjoy motherhood? Telling bedtime stories to toddlers? Writing adult thrillers with a bit of romance?) What do you make time for? What do you gravitate toward in the library and bookstore? What do you love to read? (That’s always a good clue.)

How about you? Do you feel called to write–or is it a hobby that you can lay down for months at a time and not miss it? If it’s a calling, how does that decision impact how you live the rest of your life?

February 16, 2009

Am I the only woman who wants non-traditional gifts, or is it all writers?

For Christmas, my friends wanted clothes, jewelry, trips, and home furnishings. I dearly wanted a cordless mouse for my laptop. My husband (reluctantly) bought and wrapped it. I love it! It has brought me countless hours of help. It has a zoom feature, instantly enlarging the words on the screen (so much appreciated by my tired eyes as the day wears on.) And I can use it with my right or left hand, something which has decreased the pain in my right arm and shoulder already. I think of him every time I use it because it makes my daily life easier.

Valentine’s Day was Saturday. Did I want chocolate or roses or lacey red things? No! I asked for a stand on rollers for my laptop. I’ve been making do with a wobbly TV tray which, hunched over, gives me a back ache and knots in my neck. (I know that sounds idiotic, but I’m of the “make do, wear it out, use it up” generation that doesn’t buy new stuff without a real good reason.) So my wonderful hubby got me the adjustable, tiltable computer stand with attached side table. He put it together Saturday. I love it! I’m using it right now–NOT bent over. When I’m done, I can just roll it out of the way–or into the living room if I want. I will silently bless my husband every time I end a computer session without knots in my neck.

What’s Your Preference?

Other years I’ve asked for writing books, new book shelves, study lamps for the desk, and other writing-related items for birthdays and holidays. My husband and kids used to think that giving that type of present was just too impersonal. At church last week, the men were even warned from the pulpit not to get their wives useful items like vacuum cleaners for Valentine’s Day. I had to reassure my husband several times that I really, truly, honestly wanted the laptop table more than candy and flowers. (We did go out for dinner, though, which was lovely, as was my Valentine.)

What about you? Does the writer in you want non-traditional gifts too?

February 13, 2009

Yesterday my critique group met for its weekly meeting. While we do include food and fun, it doesn’t take us long to get down to business. Manuscripts come out, the timer is set, and we’re off.

My critique group grew out of a Jane Yolen workshop fifteen months ago. Our weekly critique group has proved remarkably helpful to me in my desire to write more. I’ve tried critique groups before, and they’ve always fizzled out. This time, however, the group is made up of four serious writers. At the meetings we each read a chapter to critique, and the meetings last between three and four hours. It has been very helpful for a couple reasons.

a) Accountability: We are each expected to take our critique time seriously and show up each week with work to critique. Knowing this–and knowing that the other three women will be there with their chapters–has kept me writing on three projects this year. I’m making steady progress, and the critique group’s advice has been invaluable. Each writer raises different questions and makes different suggestions for change and improvement.

b) Time invested: All of us are busy, and to give up one whole afternoon per week to critique forces us to work hard during the week on our projects. None of us wants to show up with less than our best work. It would be wasting our time–and everyone else’s.

I think one key to a successful group is finding other writers equally committed to working and improving and growing. If you’d like to find such a group, “Writer’s Critique Groups: where to find them” on Harold Underdown’s Purple Crayon site gives valuable advice. A good place for children’s writers to find partners for manuscript exchanges is SCBWI (the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators).

If you want to join or form such a group, but you’re not sure how to critique, see the five articles on the process of critiquing at Writing-World.com

Yesterday morning, I wrote almost four hours in order to have my chapter ready for critiquing in the afternoon. Would I have worked that hard yesterday otherwise? No. So if you’re having trouble setting personal deadlines and keeping to a writing schedule, consider joining a critique group–or forming one of your own. It will help you write more–and you’ll have fun doing it!

February 11, 2009

Knowing what to do to achieve your writing dreams–and actually doing it–are two different things. How do you go from knowing to doing–and doing it consistently?

Last month I took a terrific course from Margie Lawson on “Defeating Self-Defeating Behaviors.” I learned so much about which health issues were affecting my writing, and I can honestly say I’m eating healthier, sleeping longer, and back to running after taking her class.

But…

I’m about a week or ten days behind on my writing goals for this month, and I have no excuse really. I have a few “extenuating circumstances” I hadn’t counted on, but who doesn’t? That’s part of life unless you reside on a remote island alone.

Piddling Around

My writing time yesterday was very unproductive until almost 2 p.m. Oh, I was at my desk early. I didn’t check email or anything. I read all the cute sayings taped to my computer. (You know–the ones that are supposed to inspire you to become the writer you’ve always wanted to be.) Then I remembered the water bill and decided I’d better pay that and run outside to the mail box before the mailman came. That necessitated getting dressed first. (Never mind that the bill wasn’t due for two weeks.)

Back at the desk, I started thinking about the antagonist’s role in my book and how “flat” she was. That reminded me of the writer’s magazine that came last week with an article that promised to “breathe life into your characters.” I hadn’t read it, so that seemed like a legitimate thing to do.

Of course, I got sidetracked tearing out all the post card inserts stuck in the magazine’s spine. Then I fumed a bit about all the advertising for self-publishers with their misleading claims of quick and easy mega-sales. I read several articles before I happened upon the character article and remembered why I picked up the magazine.

Time flew like this all day. I needed to pick up my granddaughter from school at 3 p.m., but I didn’t actually buckle down and do some serious writing until 2 p.m. At 2:30 when I needed to leave the house, I was so into the chapter that I hated to stop. I was aggravated that I had put off getting down to work so long. I knew better!

Too Much Time

This morning it occurred to me that I’d once had this problem and written about it in my own book, Writer’s First Aid. A few years back, when my youngest child left for college, I suddenly had lots of time to write. And yet my two hours of writing was taking all day. Why was that? When my children were babies and toddlers and preschoolers, I had squeezed out two hours of writing each day. I just didn’t waste time back then.

As I wrote in my article “Too Much Time?” in Writer’s First Aid, the tasks we have to do tend to fill all the time available to us. The things I recommended doing (like making daily goal lists) were similar to things I learned in Margie’s class last month. I just wasn’t doing them–and my lack of productivity was the result.

Knowing what to do isn’t very helpful unless you actually DO it. Not even for me. While I felt a bit silly reading my own book for advice, it helped to be reminded. I think this week I’ll read the rest of the articles in the section on “Work Habits That Work For You” and see what else I’ve forgotten. I need those nudges!

Today went much better. I made my Margie Lawson goals list for the day, stayed off-line until I wrote for two hours on my novel, and then went for my run. By 10:00 I had done the hardest things in my day! I still have time to write a couple more hours this afternoon, and I’ll be ready.

Check-Up from the Neck Up

What are the hardest things for you to follow through on? What things that would support your ideal writing life are habits you can’t seem to acquire? Where have you been successful? We’d love to be encouraged by your success stories too.

In the comments box, please share:

• writing habits I have successfully acquired (big or small)
• writing habits I still struggle with attaining
• strategies that help me go from knowing to doing

Remember, we’re all in this together!

February 8, 2009

I sat down last night to finally go through a stack of writers’ magazines and other periodicals that had accumulated. I looked forward to browsing, flipping leisurely through the pages, stopping when a title caught my eye.

So why was I fuming within thirty seconds? All that infernal marketing done with post card-type inserts stuck into the center spine. I hate them! I ripped out NINE such inserts in one magazine alone. The stack of worthless garbage litters the floor as I fume.

Viral Marketing?

All those annoying ads make it impossible to leaf through your magazine. Instead of the pages fluttering nicely, they jerk by in clumps unless you take the time first to go through and yank the ads out. They’re tucked in everywhere! Am I the only one who gets annoyed by those inserts? It makes me want to boycott their products–not buy them.

Hawking wares–telling people about your product repeatedly–never works on me. I only find it annoying. I’m affected the same way by ads that pop up constantly for the same product when I’m Googling for information, or email campaigns even from my friends. I know that when a new book comes out, you’re supposed to blitz people with “see my new book!” and “watch my new trailer!” and “join me for a free teleseminar!” and “view my podcast!” and “meet the author!” and “read my guest blog tour!” Maybe it works for other people, but I just end up feeling nagged and put off.

Where’s the Balance?

I know you need to advertise. It’s important to be willing to help with marketing your books in this publishing day and age. And yet you don’t want to cross over from intriguing a buyer into annoying him. How do you decide where to draw the line?

February 6, 2009

What conditions do you need in order to write? Are you an introvert who thrives on silence and solitude, and your muse goes into hiding when people and noise invade your space? Or are you someone who prefers to write in a three-ring circus? You write in the family room, amidst video games and kids arguing, or in airport waiting rooms with TVs blaring and people yelling on cell phones.

What’s Your Ideal Writing Environment?

Some writers can’t write when it gets too quiet and they feel isolated from the family fun. Other writers freeze up if anyone else is even in the house, much less the same room. Some moms write while soothing fussy babies, stopping every half hour because they are potty training a toddler too. (Those were my early writing days.)

My ideal writing environment is what I have most days now. My kids are grown, so there are no babies crying, no teens on cell phones, no stereos blasting. I no longer live beneath horribly noisy apartment neighbors. We are on a quiet street, and our house borders the greenbelt area. I sometimes wonder if I’ve totally lost the ability to write in less-than-ideal environments.

I have several friends who write in coffee shops, and that has always been my secret ideal image of a writer. But I hate coffee, and I can’t write with noise and commotion (and a glass case of desserts) to distract me.

Can You Create Your Ideal Spot?

Suppose you’re a young mom who has trouble writing with noise and commotion. What can you do to bring elements of peace into your writing place? I recall getting all the babies/toddlers down for naps at the same time in order to have the quiet solitude I needed. I used play times with the kids (or times cooking or folding diapers) to pre-think my plot and characters.

During the teen years, I invested in some A-1 ear plugs and a white noise machine for my office. I used them again a few years ago when I lived in a very noisy apartment complex. If noise bothers you, do what you can to eliminate or muffle much of it. It’s a shame to use half your writing energy just trying to blot out racket.

• What is your IDEAL writing environment?
• What is your REAL writing environment?
• What do you do to bring the REAL closer to your IDEAL?

Let’s share tips and strategies in the comments. Sometimes the simplest things can make the biggest difference!

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