November 21, 2008

The third week of NaNoWriMo is generally filled with doubts-about your ability as a writer, about the work in progress, about whether you should even be a writer at all! We were warned in an email not to jump ship or switch to another project that looked more promising. (In the middle of a rough draft, almost any other project looks more enticing than what you’re working on.) Was my own NaNoWriMo Week Three filled with doubts? Plenty of them!

Heather Sellers talks about doubt in her wonderful book Page after Page: Discover the confidence & passion you need to start writing & keep writing (no matter what!) It says, “Are you a fool? Should you really be taking four hours away from your family on the weekends in order to do this selfish writing thing? What is the point of all this writing? Why do it at all? Do you suck horribly? Can you write? You will never know the answers. Every single writer I know has either some doubt or enormous paralyzing doubt.“

Did I handle the doubts in a grown-up, professional way this week? Not really. I tried various things to coerce myself to just get the words down. One day I bribed myself with leftover biscuits and gravy if I would finish a chapter. Another day I convinced myself I was too sleepy to write, so I lay down for a snooze and just before dropping off, got a good idea for a way to fix the plot problem. I skipped the nap and wrote. One particularly bad writing day took some big bribes. I wrote for 45 minutes, then allowed myself 45 minutes of a movie set in Scotland (then writing, then watching, until both were finished.) A couple days, though, the writing flowed well, and no bribes were required at all. (Which is good, as I’ve gained five pounds this month while bribing myself. Could be that I need to use food less frequently as a reward!)

Every writer I asked-including a much-published author whose book was on the NY Times bestseller list for a year-feels the same way in the middle of a first draft. All writers question their calling, or the boring plot, or their shallow characters, or the worn-out theme they see unfolding before them day after day. You feel like a fraud; you’re sure that this time the horrible truth will come out: you can’t write!

What do you do? One prolific writer said he had to tell himself during the writing of every single book: Your feelings about this work-in-progress are just emotions. Feelings are not reality. And like many of us, he found when he later read his draft, he couldn’t tell the days he felt inspired from the days his feelings screamed at him to quit.

Heather Sellers also made this key point in her book: “There have now been many studies of elite performers-concert violinists, chess grand masters, professional ice-skaters, mathematicians, and so forth-and the biggest difference researchers find between them and lesser performers is the amount of deliberate practice they’ve accumulated. The most important talent might be the talent for practice itself.” The same studies show that performers at the top of their field-any field-hate practicing and must deal with doubts as much as anyone else. They simply practice anyway.

I remind myself that all this writing practice during NaNoWriMo has to be making me a better writer. I just need to keep on keeping on for ten more days! I will carry that thought into the final ten days of NaNoWriMo to slay the doubts that dare to rear their ugly heads.

Do you have special ways of dealing with writing doubts? If so, please share!

6 Comments »

1. 

   Kristi, Love this post! What a great reminder to not let the doubts get in the way of our calling. It reminds me of our life in Christ, too. Our feelings are not always reality. HE is the truth, not our emotions…

   Comment by Dena Dyer — November 21, 2008 @ 5:10 pm

2. 

   This month’s NaNoWriMo novel is truly my worst yet. I’m moving during the last week of November, so my whole life is in turmoil. Still, the call of my fourth straight year was too strong to ignore.

   I’m still mostly on pace, though at times I doubted the wisdom of continuing. But even though I will never revise and polish this novel, I’ve used this time to try to become a better writer.

   One of the things I did was experiment in other genres. What started as a murder mystery has crossed into science fiction and some steamy romance – things I’d never explore in a full-length work, but perfect for a monthlong noveling experience like NaNoWriMo.

   I always have doubts during first drafts. I just plug along anyway, knowing I can fix things that don’t work in revision. For me, the trick is just showing up at the page consistently.

   Comment by Alice — November 21, 2008 @ 8:18 pm

3. 

   Dena, you are so right. The “facts” of the matter and the “truth” of the matter are often so different. We have to be so careful not to be led by our feelings–but it’s hard!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — November 21, 2008 @ 10:07 pm

4. 

   Alice, there is so much truth in what you said about the trick being to just show up at the page CONSISTENTLY. I never even considered using NaNo to explore other genres or ideas–what a good idea! And you can’t help but improve in your writing when you’re doing that much of it. Good luck with your move next week! I hope it goes smoothly for you. Check in when you are able to come up for air!

   Comment by Kristi Holl — November 21, 2008 @ 10:10 pm

5. 

   HI Kristi,

   Great post! I find myself discouraged way too often. About a month ago I was down on my writing and I found a great book, Knit Together: Discover God’s Pattern for Your Life by Debbie Macomber. She is a best selling author and she talks about that need to write that comes from within and how to fight the writing blues. I think every time I receive a rejection I have to take two steps back, pray, then move forward. Thanks for all your great words of wisdom.

   Penny

   Comment by Penny — November 23, 2008 @ 11:42 pm

6. 

   Hi, Penny,
   Ye, I like Debbie’s Knit Together book too! I heard her speak a couple times last March at the Mt. Hermon’s Christian Writers Conference. She was sweet, funny, and inspiring. Rejections are hard for me too, but not nearly as difficult as they used to be. God’s in control, even of rejections, and He’s got a plan for our writing.
   Kristi

   Comment by Kristi Holl — November 24, 2008 @ 12:37 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website