July 30, 2008

We talked about “writer jealousy” in “Conquering the Green-Eyed Monster–Part 1” earlier this week. There are times we’re jealous of other writers, and there are times others are jealous of us. At some point in your writing career, you’ll have to deal with both kinds. (I’m not sure why, but I only had to deal with others’ jealousy very early in my career, when I decided to break out of the farm wife mold and write on the side. I think it’s when you first do something different than what others expect that you run into the most jealousy. Oddly enough, there was nothing much to be jealous of back then! After people in the family and community got used to my being a writer, I don’t recall any more catty remarks or put-downs, even after winning awards and being able to write full-time.)

We’ll talk first about the times others are jealous of your success, then about dealing with your jealousy of others’ success. There are several ways to deal with other people, some kinder and more professional than others!

• First, you can call a spade a spade. Tell them they’re jealous and to knock it off and let you enjoy your success. This only tends to aggravate the problem though.
• Second, if the person listening to your success story is a struggling writer—one genuinely working to write and sell—be sensitive to her feelings. Do share. Be happy, but don’t gloat. Don’t spend the whole critique period talking about your success. Keep it in balance.
• Third, find a writer who is more published than you are, then shout your success from the rooftops. Do you have an instructor or mentor who’s helped you in some way? Those are great people to share good news with, and you can pull out all the stops. They’ll be as excited as you are. Nothing thrills me like having a former student publish, then write to share the news.
• Fourth, brace yourself with certain family members. Jealousy coming from nonwriters (including your family) is trickier, and often the most painful. Family members who were super-supportive while you played the Rejection Slip Blues can turn cold and rejecting when you begin selling. I’ve never understood this type of jealousy, but I’ve seen it in my own life and other writers’ lives often enough to know it’s real. Writers tend to withdraw and shut down when their success stories fall on the deaf ears of family members. Be sensitive to your family issues, but don’t let the nonsupport go on too long. Confront it. Your sale or good review is an achievement, and it should be recognized, just as you recognize their accomplishments.

What has been your experience with the reactions of friends and family to your writing success? (Again, feel free to post anonymously.) On Friday we’ll talk about how to handle the times that we feel jealous of someone else’s success.

July 28, 2008

After the war, Scarlet OHara starved with her family on their broken down plantation while she burned with jealousy toward anyone who still had money. Later, after marrying Rhett Butler, Scarlet built a gaudy mansion in Atlanta to make her enemies “pea-green with envy” in return. Unfortunately, she found (like many writers) that having people jealous of her success caused her as much heartache as when she was jealous herself.

July 25, 2008

Yesterday I dragged myself to the computer, bone weary, body aching, and tired of my writing project. The last few weeks I’d increased my writing hours a lot to meet my (self-imposed) deadline. I imagine part of it was not feeling well, but yesterday I looked at the almost complete project and thought, What’s the use? This actually stinks. I bet I’ve wasted the last six months on this. I couldn’t make myself get to work. So I did what most good writers do when they want to look like they’re working, but they’re not: I checked email.

And thanks to Suzanne Lieurance from “The Working Writer’s Coach” and her “Morning Nudge,” my writing day was rescued. This is what she sent yesterday that got me back to work.

The life of a freelance writer can be very frustrating at times. There are so many things to do and not enough time to do them all. Or - the writing seems to be going nowhere and you just can’t make yourself sit down and write. You work and work, search and search, for freelance writing jobs on a regular basis, seemingly to no avail. So you begin to wonder - What’s the point? Am I really getting anywhere? But know this. If you’re starting to feel frustrated because you think you’ve been working WAY too hard for the few results all this work has produced, you’re on the verge (even though it may feel more like you’re “on the edge”). You’re on the verge of creating some powerful momentum. Stick with your marketing plan (and be sure you have one). Stick with the online job searches on a daily basis. So many people give up, just when they are on the verge of great success. Just when they start to feel really frustrated. Just when they feel nothing is going the way they want it to. If that’s how you’re feeling right now - celebrate! You’re on the verge of wonderful, great things! You’re on the verge of creating that powerful momentum that will move your writing career ahead to an entirely NEW and exciting level!
Today, relax and let go of that frustration, knowing you’re on the verge of great things. Try it!

I urge you to sign up today for Suzanne’s daily kick in the writing pants, “The Morning Nudge.” You’ll be glad you did!

July 23, 2008

July 21, 2008

July 18, 2008

(First read “Regain the Passion” Part 1 and Part 2.)

How to Regain Lost Passion
If you were passionate about your writing in the past, but haven’t felt that way for a long time, there is a definite sadness mixed in with the lethargy. It feels like falling out of love, and in a very real sense, it is. Can you stir up the fires of passion for your writing? Can you fall in love with writing and your work again, when all seems dry as dust and just as tasteless? Yes!

Surprising Sources
Years ago, I struggled with this question, slowing becoming afraid that the boredom and apathy were permanent. I tried to muster some enthusiasm for my book-in-progress, whose deadline was fast approaching, but to no avail. It wasn’t the book manuscript itself. I knew it was finely plotted, with well placed clues and plenty of tension. The problem wasn’t in the manuscript—it was in me.

I found the answer to the problem one cold, snowy morning, and it came from the most unlikely source: my dog. We’d had freezing conditions for several days, cutting short my walks with Rhett (my black Lab.) I chained him outside for the day, then hurried back indoors. Playtime was cut short—it was just too cold and windy for me. I paid little attention to Rhett during that week, although I’d loved him passionately since bringing him home from the pound ten months earlier. As the frigid week wore on, and the weather stayed miserable, I began to resent having a dog. I hated going out in the weather to his snug dog house, carrying water often because his dish froze over. I became apathetic about Rhett—he was getting to be more trouble than he was worth.

Then one day the sun came out, melted the snow, and temperatures soared. I put Rhett on his leash and took an hour-long walk, complete with Puppy Biscuit rewards for correct sitting, heeling and staying. When we got home, I chained him outside near his food and water, then stayed to play. I petted, I stroked, I laughed, I cooed. (If you’re not a dog owner, you may need to gag here.) Anyone watching me that morning could see I had regained my passion for owning a dog.

Simple Formula
I’m sure you see the parallels. Regaining passion for your work can be accomplished the same way:
A. Pay attention to your work. Think about it when you’re not at your desk. Mull over your theme. Ponder plot points. Have mental conversations with your characters.
B. Take care of your work. Feed it with quotes and good resource books. Do in-depth research and interviews. Immerse yourself in your subject matter.
C. Spend time with your work. Daily, if possible. If you want passion to ignite in anything (a relationship, your work, a hobby) you must spend consistent—and sufficient—time with it. We understand this principle in romantic relationships, but it’s just as true with your writing.

Don’t Settle
Part of the enjoyment of being a writer is the pure passion and pleasure of setting words on paper. Don’t settle for ho-hum, apathetic work. Instead take the necessary steps to revive your passion for writing. Do it as often as necessary to keep that spark of joy alive!

July 16, 2008

(Read Regain the Passion–Part 1 first.)

When does passion flourish? Under what conditions? First, a writer’s passion is generally at its highest point when life is going well. (Big surprise!) When relationships are smooth, health is good, there’s enough money to pay the bills, the writer is following a healthy diet and getting sufficient sleep: these are the optimal conditions. Whatever is draining your passion needs to be attended to, thoroughly and persistently. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always bring back the passion. It simple sets the stage, giving yourself the optimal environment for your resurrected passion to grow.

Habits of a Passionate Writer
How do you recognize passion for writing? Yes, it’s a feeling, but it’s so much more. Each writer will exhibit certain habits when she is being passionate about her writing. These habits are individual and personal. Take a moment to make a list of habits that (to you) marks a writer as passionate.

To me, a passionate writer:
A. writes, almost daily
B. listens, observes and thinks—alert to her surroundings
C. carries a notebook everywhere to jot down impressions, descriptions and ideas
D. journals—daily, if possible
E. is focused—begins and continues her writing with energy
F. reads other good children’s books, both current and classics
G. keeps up with professional reading
H. shares her enthusiasm at conferences and workshops (but doesn’t over-schedule such events so they don’t interfere with writing).
I. leads a more secluded life than the average person, in order to nurture and explore her talent
J. is physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually healthy.
K. Most of all, passionate writers are 24-hour-a-day writers. Even when washing dishes or cutting grass, the passionate writer’s work is close at hand, on the edges of her mind. Everything she does is writing-related and life-related, so that her work and her life are inseparable.

(On Friday we’ll talk about practical ways to get the passion back.)

July 14, 2008

Has this ever happened to you? You’re half-way through a short story revision, or the rough draft of your novel, or the research for a biography—and without warning, you lose your desire for the project. The passion evaporates. You feel lethargic, sad, and brain dead (or least oxygen deprived). You put your writing away for a few days, hoping it’s hormonal or a phase of the moon or post-holiday blues. However, when you dig it out again, it’s even worse. It doesn’t grab you. You’re sure it won’t grab anyone else either! It’s boring. It goes back in the drawer.

Unfortunately, over the next few weeks, the situation worsens. Lethargy turns to apathy. Boredom turns to dislike. You face the fact that, for some reason, you’ve lost your burning desire to write this story—or maybe even write anything at all. And without the passion, why bother to endure the long hours, the potential rejection of your work, and the low pay? Once it’s lost, how do you recapture your passion for writing?

What is Passion?
The question is summed up well by Hal Zina Bennett in Write from the Heart: “How do authors connect with that passion, bordering on obsession, that drives them to finish even the most ambitious writing projects in spite of seemingly insurmountable handicaps? What is the secret creative energy that the world’s best writers can apparently zap into action the moment their fingers touch their keyboards?”

Some say this passion is tied to how meaningful the writer feels his work is. He feels passion when what he is sharing is deeply meaningful. He may lose his passion when his writing turns into what will sell, what the markets dictate are current trends, and what pays the most money. Eric Maisel in A Life in the Arts says, “The most salient difference between the regularly blocked artist and the regularly productive artist may not be the greater talent of the latter, but the fact that the productive artist possesses and retains his missionary zeal.”

Most writers would agree that a passion for writing involves enthusiasm, excitement, drive, and a deep love for your work. This passion makes writing a joyous occupation. It makes time fly while “real life” is shoved to the far comers of the mind. It’s being in the flow, enraptured in the present moment. For some, it’s being aware that they’re writers twenty-four hours a day.

Why Does Passion Dissipate?
Passion can spring a leak after too many rejection slips, too many critical comments from spouses or reviewers or critique partners, and too many crises to handle in your personal life. Passion can also die when you repeat yourself in your work instead of exploring new avenues of writing.

Lack of passion can be caused by chronic fatigue. “Fatigue and the accompanying blockage also come with living the sort of marginal life that artists so often live,” says Eric Maisel. “The effort required to put food on the table, to deal with an illness without benefit of a hospital plan, to pay the rent, to get a toothache treated, to attend to the needs of a spouse or children, can tire out the most passionate and dedicated artist.”

(Parts 2 and 3 will discuss ways to get the passion back!)

July 11, 2008

I’m a sucker for daily reminders from various websites. I get writing reminders, fitness reminders, and blog notices. Today in a couple of fitness emails I realized the solution to a writing problem I have this morning. First, there was an email from SparkPeople on getting fit called “Success is an Attitude.” A woman wrote: “I plan to lose 50 pounds over a year. I am not setting myself up for any big disappointments by trying to lose too much too fast. Every day is a new day. Every day can be a successful day.” Smart lady, I thought.

Then I read an article from Runner’s World about “The Ten Rules of Weight Loss.” The first rule said, “To lose 10 pounds of body fat a year, you need to eat 100 calories less per day. Cutting too many calories from your daily intake will sap your energy level and increase your hunger, making you more susceptible to splurging on high-calorie foods.”

Ah-ha! Do you see a parallel with writing? I sure do. My natural tendency (like this week) is to grit my teeth, buckle down, and write 5,000 words every day for two weeks to finish a project. Who am I kidding? I can maybe keep up that grueling schedule for several days, but soon I’m depleted, with back and head aching, and I want to eat everything in sight and vege out through a couple of chick flicks. Then it takes me a week to make myself write again, thus averaging out my writing to something like 1000 words per day. Why not just write 1000 (or 500) easy words every single day? That would be a breeze! They’d add up, I wouldn’t get that familiar neck and hip pain from sitting too long—and I would meet the deadline.

I need to take the attitude of the lady who planned to lose fifty pounds by losing one pound per week. What was it that she said? That way every day is a new day. Every day can be a successful day.

July 9, 2008

Last night, after a satisfying two days of writing and being right on track with a deadline this week, I got some news that threw my tight schedule out the window for five days. I woke up at 4 a.m. thinking about what to do and putting in some extra prayer time. Then, when checking email, I received a Google Alert, those little email notices that tell you when someone has mentioned you somewhere online. I clicked through and found a post by my former writing student, Myra Johnson, called “When Life Interrupts.” Yes! Terrific article–and good ideas in the comments section as well. I had to smile at what Myra had written about me. In part she said, “She’s an expert in working through the interruptions!” I thought Hmmmm… If I was such an expert, then I could stop floundering as I tried to reclaim in my writing schedule for the week.

Newer Posts »